It's Friday and I'm bored

[JPolen01]

What are you guys watching? All I can see on my phone is one gif of doc hitting the guy with an rc car. Then it loops back around.

[ScottyB]

you're not internetting right, amateur!

[JPolen01]

[ScottyB]

on today's episode of Rich Guys Who Break Their Shiny Things On The Track:

[youtube]KpTkJcM5yL4[/youtube]

[JPolen01]

This guy's Labor Day > yours

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[youtube]RRg43Cb_wN8[/youtube]

[ScottyB]

[youtube]G4KtMfQ9hUc[/youtube]

:lol:

[Goodspeed]

[WRXtranceformed]

^^ :lol: Man I needed that

[V1GiLaNtE]

[ScottyB]

i've always known hardcore drag cars make lots and lots of power, in the predictable "yeah they pull the wheels off the ground on a launch, smoke the rollers on a dyno, big power, i get it, yeah yeah". but i've never really seen it demonstrated in a more brutal way to be honest.
[youtube]oebpmYmN004[/youtube]

yanking the wheels clear off the ground and riding it out after finally getting traction north of an easy 100mph, with that noise? naaaaaaaasty.

[CaptainHenreh]

So.

I am lying in my bed, nice and easy just as you please. Dreaming about guns and cars as a Rexy do, when all of the sudden, I hear this:
[youtube]MobfYnRRpys[/youtube]

Oh, it's my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone, "Everything alright, love?"

"Rex. You have Hannah today, right?"

Yes, I do.

"ok, I need you to pack her up and get down here right now."

I'm out of bed at this point. Is she holding a Staunton crackhead at knifepoint? Did her daughter sleepwalk again, and is missing? "Whats wrong," I ask.

"I'm trapped in my bedroom with a opossum. It has shit everywhere CRASH NO CRASH LEAVE IT GET OVER HERE." (note: Crash is her beagle shepherd minpin mutt mix.)

She had called the police, who informed her Animal Control doesn't work at 4am, but they would send an officer. Unfortunately, her house was locked, and she didn't want to do any damage when the police came, so I needed to unlock the house. I wake up hannah, who was enthralled by the clear night sky (I think this might have been the first time she's ever noticed stars, "Staaarrr...") and hightailed it south. I'm on the phone with le girlfriend the whole time, to keep her calm.

I arrive, turns out her deadbolts are keyed differently from the knob. She doesn't have a key for them. I don't have a key for them. Police aren't here yet, so I crawl through the bathroom window (something Fat Rex could never have done, btw) unlock the front door, then trap the hellspawn between the door and the wall so Girlfriend, Crash, and Cat can extract themselves safely.

Police arrive (how do I beat the police anyway? Guess if it'd been an emergency it'd be different) and the policelady gets the Ketch-all out of the back of her Impala, hands it to me.

"Pull this cable to tighten the noose, pull the cap to loosen. We're not allowed to use these unless it's a life threatening emergency, so...good luck."

So I enter the beast's domain. My girlfriend's bedroom. There is opossum shit everywhere. he's curled up in a milk crate my gf uses as a nightstand. I put the loop around his neck, quickly tighten, and begin to pull him out...BUT HIS FUCKING TAIL IS WRAPPED AROUND THE GODDAM MILK CRATE. Kick tail, it loosens, pull further, TAIL WRAPS AROUND THE BEDPOST GODDAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK, ok you little shit you want to play like that, I know you have opposable thumbs too but this is MY DOMAIN not YOURS. SEXY REXY RUN BARTERTOWN, BITCH and give a good yank and it lets go.

I have a possum hanging from the end of the pole.

It looks at me, dead in the eye, and pushes out a turd. Touche, marsupial. Touche.



I lay it in the ditch by the street. It pretends to be dead. Walk back inside, mission accomplished.

The whole time my GF is like "stop laughing this isn't funny."

But, it kind of is.

tl;dr: If your gf calls you at 4am to "come take care of this wild animal in her bedroom"... that isn't a euphemism.

[Sijray21]

It looks at me, dead in the eye, and pushes out a turd. Touche, marsupial. Touche.

:lol:

wow, that sounds like a crazy night... how the hell did the opossum get into the room in the first place!? that would concern me.

[.RJ]

tl;dr: If your gf calls you at 4am to "come take care of this wild animal in her bedroom"... that isn't a euphemism.

Tell her the next time she calls at 4am there better be a wild beaver on the loose.

[ScottyB]

:lol: at the belligerent payback loaf.

go home possum, u r drunk

[rherold9]

It's been awhile. Still gets me every time

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[rherold9]

It's been awhile. Still gets me every time

[youtube]SW-BU6keEUw[/youtube]

[Mike]

i fucking love spaghetti.

[Goodspeed]

Rex's bubble butt ringtone song reminded me to post one of my newly favorite music videos. Probably NSFW :lol:

[youtube]jWFWazj7Ud8[/youtube]

[HAULN-SS]

Damn...that aint the Mastodon I used to know

[JPolen01]

[youtube]StLm5rb_o6o[/youtube]