MMMM: Memorable Moments in Madison Motorsports

[SlimKlim]

Oh shit, and that one time Kyle and his lady friend emotionally scarring everyone sleeping on the bottom floor of Justin's house, because Lauren and I had jacked the last room with a door.

[Senor_Taylor]

If y'all want to relive JMU, you can always come to a party at my house There may just be a huge age gap, though I love all of these stories! I've purposely not including any drinking stories because mine get pretty bad, haha. Maybe I'll share when there's another one of these threads in 5 years. I'll be at work all day today, so this will definitely be a good read when I get home!

[JustinG]

If I did the same amount of drinking in one night that I did back then, it would take me weeks to recover. Hell, It takes me days to recover if I stay up drinking til midnight.

[rherold9]

So... MM reunion?

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[Ken]

If I did the same amount of drinking in one night that I did back then, it would take me weeks to recover. Hell, It takes me days to recover if I stay up drinking til midnight.

This. So much this.

[RawrImAMonster]

Whatever, you all aren't any older than me. No need to act like you're 40.

[rherold9]

Meh, you'll get over it once you all are back together and we can all do some questionably dangerous stuff together

Whatever, you all aren't any older than me. No need to act like your 40.

This guy. I miss the drunk Chad and you at your place off Wolfe.


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[JustinG]

No but I am 30, married, have a kid....life for me is pretty much over.



j/k

[Kaan]

Whatever, you all aren't any older than me. No need to act like you're 40.

some of us are pretty damn close lol.

[JPolen01]

I forgot about that karting weekend. Karting in general never really went well for us. We couldn't #Turnitdown long enough to be clear-headed and well hydrated for a morning indoor motorsport.

Oh sure, we had the best of intentions. Jake and I even shook hands once as we pulled into Kristin Goodwin's parent's house where we were crashing that we would behave ourselves and maintain sobriety in the interest of an enjoyable morning.

And then suddenly I was shithoused on moonshine standing in their garage listening to her dad walk me through the finer details of building a competitive endurance kart.

I have never seen so many hung over people try to pilot karts before. The night at Kristin's parents was also the night Lincoln and I water balloned the shit out of you and Jake while you two were trying to sleep. Good times indeed.

Jake will remember this one - Jake, Andrew Jones, me, and one other person went on a 33w cruise in the miatas sans tops and it started to hurricane about half way up the mountain. We kept on trucking through the rain. If you kept it above 35-40mph with the top down you really didn't get that wet.

That time Lincoln drunkenly road a mountain bike down the stairs at his house in pheasant and faceplanted so hard into the door at the bottom of the steps. I think I have that video somewhere.

Edit:

I need someone to chime in with the story about Chad and Chris kicking the tire all the way to P Run from some ungodly far distance. I think they ended up rolling it down a hill directly into a cop car if memory serves correct.

[SlimKlim]

You did?

Moar memories. It's like a floodgate I can't close.

Spraybombing the gas tank of the motorcycle Kaan gave me behind Cabell's house, with him periodically coming to visit me with a serving spoon full of fresh pineapple moonshine.

Being so automotively-horned-up after going to see Fast-5 that I pull a powerslide into Sunchase and slam second so hard that I threw the shift knob at Ken's face in the back seat.

Jake and Chris Chrzan probably instinctively flinch when they hear the song "Lit Up" by Buckcherry.

Almost crashing the FZR in the Pheasant because I greatly, greatly underestimated how old and crappy the tires were.

Borrowing a 2006 R6 from one of Ken's study buddies to ride around town, getting onto 81, ripping the face off of reality and staring God in the face at 17,500rpms.

[RawrImAMonster]

This guy. I miss the drunk Chad and you at your place off Wolfe.

Yeah I miss that house. So many drunken shenanigans went down there. I wish I could have seen our neighbors reactions when we did a case race with 3 people on each team and all finished within the same minute or so. 5 people ran out onto the back porch and threw up at the same time. Somehow we got the full security deposit back for that place.

Whatever, you all aren't any older than me. No need to act like you're 40.

some of us are pretty damn close lol.

Well I meant Justin and Ken specifically. I guess Justin is a few years older, but on the other hand, the 30 year old in my friend group rages harder than anyone I've ever met on a consistent basis.

[rherold9]

I have new appreciation for alumni shenanigans that I haven't really been able to see

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[G.Irish]

Well, April 2016 will be the 15th anniversary of MM. We probably should do something special this time. By the time the next 5 year milestone comes up, there will be students at JMU who are younger than MM hock:

I can think of lots of stories but here's a funny one:

It was maybe 2002 and we had succeeded in convincing a lot of students to come out and flag for NASA at the VIR event in February (already a bad idea). NASA hooked us up with hotel rooms, but at the time the rooms were booked at the Innkeeper North in Danville. It wasn't a totaly shithole but word was a construction worker murdered someone with a hammer there once. I wanna say they screwed up our reservations because we had to fit about 15 people in 2 rooms. Some people slept in chairs, some people slept on top of the dressers, and some lucky people got beds except...

One of the guys (Ed Wotring) had just pulled up the covers and got in the bed, then jumped the fuck out of the bed like he had just laid down in lava. We pulled back the sheets and there was a huge piss stain in the middle of the bed...

That track event was absolutely fucking miserable. About 40 degrees outside and wet. A lot of people never came back out to track event after that one.

That was also the last time we stayed at Innkeeper North, but later, we'd have some good times at Innkeeper South.

[Jeff]

Man so many good times. It was bawlin. I miss it. #feelsold #minivanburnouts #bawlin #33Wwiththeboys

[JustinG]

DJ and I were talking about our 33W trips to shoot shit in the Minivan, leaning in the van to keep it from rolling over on its lid.

[D_Eclipse9916]

If I did the same amount of drinking in one night that I did back then, it would take me weeks to recover. Hell, It takes me days to recover if I stay up drinking til midnight.

No, but seriously.

I am not good at story-telling, there is still shit people tell me about that I forget about years later. A lot of those stories will be lost to the ages.
-meeting Mike D because I was doing a turbo swap on the GSX in the snow in the dorm parking lot
-many many many drunk walks to meet up for karting in the morning
-borrowing Adam Lees GSX to do a timing belt and running open downpipe for 2 months
-2 motor swaps on the gsx...ugh
-The many cruises of 33 and reddish knob
-Ice fishing for 6 straight hours with Blair snowboarding behind Pauls jeep down port republic, running from the "rental cops", high snow plow drivers, and my stupid HKS "pew pew" laser BOV sounds.
-Goodspeed learning to drive on a 4-puck clutch Supra
-Finding anywhere and anyhow to take pictures of our "cool" cars
-Goodspeed doing his first "real" engine work.
-Dryft Car show with me running no hood and bumper, Steve's C4 cracking throttle to wide open so loud on the dyno that we thought it broke and then proceeded to make everyone's eyes so red we had to clear the room
-Adam's Taurus SHO, somehow as unreliable as my DSM
-Drunk Karting Enduros at Summit Point with MM youngins (at the time)
-Ferrari of Washington Tours
-MM parties with Cylinder Heads and turbos holding down the table
-Skipping 9AMs to do holdbacks and drinking behind Pauls
-MM alumns introducing me to the track with ride-alongs (spin in Maengs car turn 1), taking a keg back to Shoneys, and taking me to some of WVA fine men's establishments
-Turbovan rides up 33, I had totally forgotten!
-Holding the MM pong table on the roof of my ex-gf's focus down Pheasant Run to port republic


A couple old videos and pictures to make up for my story-telling.














Videos:
Goodspeed Learning to drive manual
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MM at VIR
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="https://vimeo.com/1168193">https://vimeo.com/1168193</a><!-- m -->
MM Snow Videos
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="https://vimeo.com/779409">https://vimeo.com/779409</a><!-- m -->

[ScottyB]

so, so many things. i've been sitting and laughing for a while just remembering it all. "back then" you actually had to carry a camera with you to take pictures, so most of these stories must be told in person, handed down from one generation to the next, so as to assure our jackassery is not lost to the sands of time.

i need to find a LOT of old pictures, but a good start:

Rex's amazing tale of how we put a pink tape dick on DJ's racecar and he paraded it around the track for 20 minutes so every spectator could see it. There are some lines in here that if i read them 10 times today, i'd still laugh every single time. If we could get him to parse out the aggregate of all of our tales into a book, it would be at least 100 glorious pages.

Children, gather 'round and let me tell you the tale of The BPD.

It was a balmy day in late winter, roundabout ought '12, before the world turned to ash. We were racing, which was a sport where men (and sometimes ladies) would hop into modified automobiles and operate them as fast as they could around a paved track. And at this event there was a young man who, in fine MM tradition, had set out to school slow bitches on "how it's done": Donald "DJ" Fitzpatrick.

DJ was the fastest of his generation. Balls of steel, the devil's own nerve, and a sense for the line that bordered on psychic. His dance partner, a white as snow BMW M3, was gleaming in the sun. She was clean, though not much to look at with her park bench on the truck, and HDRacing organic composite front spoiler. But she was eager to please, and on that day, DJ's 25th birthday, she was doubly so.

Our Hero had qualified first, and was sitting on the pole for his very first race of the 2012 season. But a plan had been hatched...

"We should do something to DJ's car," Rex exclaimed, apropos of nothing. "It's his birthday, and it's the first race of 2012." Justin concurred, "Let's go talk to Trevor at VBD, and get little vinyl dicks to plaster over the car." Julie balked at the price and reminded us we didn't really have enough time to accomplish something. The conspirators continued their plotting. "What about some pink racer tape? We could do something like, you know, a giant smiley face or vagina on his car." Rex generally used "vagina" to describe a lady's private parts. There were other words he used when he'd been drinking, but this particular morning he was sober, and aware of the words coming out of his mouth. James Johnson, the race director, thought that was a great idea, and Julie darted off to Oak Tree to buy a roll of pink racer tape. Then they all broke for lunch.

On the way back from lunch, Rex was having his CHNOPS cocktail (cleverly disguised as a chicken sandwich by the artisans at the Oak Tree Pagoda) and discussing his plot with ScottyB. Scott Bradford, scholar, artist, gentleman was rightfully taken aback by the crudeness of Rex's plan. "A Vagina on the hood? Good God, man! What are we, barbarians? And who's going to make this tape-art? You?" He glared at Rex through his monocle. "I won't have half-efforts on Donald's automobile and on his Birthday?" He then began sketching, all in straight lines. "I will take it from here, sir. I will recruit Brian Maeng to assist me. You attend to your track duties."

The trap had been set.

DJ pulled up to the grid, and like any professional did a thorough walkaround of his car. He placed four bimmerworld stickers on each corner, hoping against hope he could achieve victory and maybe catch the eye of the Bimmerworld contingency. And with five minutes before the pace car would roll, he entered the car and belted in. The buckles might as well have been the steel jaws of a grizzly trap, as the well-oiled Madison Motorsports team flooded his car. Maeng, channeling his ancestors, dropped through the passenger window to "assist" DJ in fastening his belts, simultaneously blocking the rear view mirror and thus DJ's view of Scott.

Scott went right to work, maybe his best ever, deftly making art from the straight lines of pink tape. He had limited time, the pace car's lights were flashing, the previous session was pitting in. A single bead of sweat tumbled from underneath his tophat, traversing his furrowed brow. The gold rim of his monocle gleamed in the February sunlight, while his critical artist's eye squinted from underneath. "Control to grid, One minute please." Scott stepped back from his creation, quick as lighting tearing a few choice halfstrips of tape for the final finishing touches. Just enough time for Maeng to extract and Scotty to grab a picture:

thumbs up, buddy!


The Warrior burst from his pole position, routinely putting down 2:11's, his best circuit netting him an unbelievable 2:10 flat. He ended that race a solid 4 seconds ahead of the entire field, barely breaking a sweat. He was milliseconds slower than his qualifying time of an pants-shitting 2:09.38. It was magnificent. As he pulled in the Race Director said "Hey, you got a new sponsor!" DJ finally saw Scotty's masterpiece. (he was likely the LAST person to do so, as he'd led the entire field for the past 20 minutes.) All had a good laugh for a moment, but then JJ's face grew cold, and dark. "You know, Chris saw that. He said he might DQ you for unsportsmanlike conduct. We're a national racing organization, we've got an image to hold up." DJ broke into a cold sweat, and JJ went on: "I'm not sure if he was serious or not, but he just got into his race car...we'll have to wait until the next session to see what he says."

The pit of DJ's stomach no doubt dropped to the ground. DQ'd on his first race of 2012? The Lionhearted victory of his rookie season?

DJ hastily removed the evidence of our transgression against nature. His sweaty, shaking hands could barely grip the tape-strip pubes affixed to his car.

Chris Cobetto stalked over as the last remnants of ballsack fell from the white deutch Stahl. His eyes were two coal-black holes, eyes where dreams die, windows into the oblivion that takes us all, eventually.

"Dude," he said, his voice ice cold. "You're an official. You should know better."

DJ cried out "I didn't know! I swear I didn't know! It's not my fault!" We all expected an expanding piss-stain on his racer suit.

Then Chris siezed him and gave him a big sloppy kiss. "Can't go fast around here without getting some shit, DJ. Fantastic run!"

DJ also won his next race, beating the ever-loving pants off of all comers.

You should have been there.

It was maybe 2002 and we had succeeded in convincing a lot of students to come out and flag for NASA at the VIR event in February (already a bad idea).

:lol: that WAS my first ever MM event :lol: . rode there in the back of your GS-R (you driving, John Chapin shotty) with my knees up in my chin since that poor car was filled to the tits with track gear. i will take to the grave with me the lurid memory of the most angry human being i've ever seen, in the form of you verbally traumatizing whoever the poor slob was that had to man the phone at the Inn that night for completely dicking up our reservations.

Hunter, who was a great lad but doesn't post here anymore, slept in the bathtub. i think we had 4 people in one bed at a point, all trying not to spoon each other with about 5 square feet of space per person in a room that was maybe 60 degrees. i slept on a single sheet, on the floor, like a Bedouin nomad.

after that track weekend i never wanted anything as bad as to go back again.

[WRXtranceformed]

I was there during the good old days of block parties, and I was there DJing a party during the fateful barn burner. One of the most hilarious memories I had of being at JMU was when I was standing near the police riot line in Ashby and some kid was trying to set a dumpster on fire. One of the cops charged down the hill at him and LIT THIS KID UP with pepper spray paintballs. I was dying laughing

[D_Eclipse9916]

I still laugh so hard, Rex is amazing at story-telling. Good job sir!

Mine would have gone like this: Assholes put a pink dick on the side of my car without me knowing, stomache dropped when I got in trouble with the Race Director, only to find out it was a fun ploy.

This is why I don't tell stories.