Not that it's a defense, but RJ said he's already seen it... and that conversation took place after he linked me to the walrus blowing himself. So I guess there are two of us...
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
lol
(09-25-2019, 03:18 PM)V1GiLaNtE Wrote: I think you need to see a mental health professional.
Discussing my plans for the night... Pick up my new iPhone or see the ex (amicable break) for a work function (long story...)...
Coworker: You've gotta weigh your options.
Me: One is 4.8 ounces, the other is about 125lbs. That doesn't help.
Coworker: Phone. You can get the other another day. Besides, she's not even your girlfriend anymore, whereas your new phone practically will be.
Me: Well... they do both belong in my pants.
I thought it was good 
Phone wins.
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
Better if you said they both react to how you use your hands.
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/24/some-iphone-4-models-see-signals-drop-to-0-when-held-left-handed/">http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/24/some-iphone-4-models-see-signals-drop-to-0-when-held-left-handed/</a><!-- m -->
I hope you're good with your left, if you plan on multitasking with both.
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
Tested it with a coworker's... Didn't do anything. I guess I'm not trying hard enough to hate.
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
How long was your wait in line?
Haven't gone... I'm following Twitter. If there's much of a line, I'm not going. Might try just before close tonight.
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
"Paradise by Check Engine Light" OR "How I learned to stop worrying and love the HEMI"
Jeff: no longer supporting the economy of the motherfucking japs
Jeff: 300C homo
Jeff:quit worrying about shifting
Jeff: let the fatherland shift for you
Rex: lol
Rex:the irony
Jeff: true
Jeff:come on
Jeff:you know you want Mopar
Jeff:HEMI
Jeff:come on...say it with me
Rex: Honestly, I wouldn't mind.
Rex:IF
Jeff: HEMI
Rex: I could shift it myself.
Jeff: HEMI
Rex: But I can't, jeff.
Jeff: HEMI
Jeff: HEMI
Rex: Has that thing got a hemi?
Rex: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW
Jeff: YES!!!!
Jeff: I came
Jeff: I need to wipe up
Jeff: did we just cyber?
Jeff: I'm not sure I can look at you the same way again.
Rex: will you respect me in the morning?
Jeff: I need a cig
1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442
Marriage: Tires and Purses
Wifey: There are two big, fat tires sitting in our driveway that the Fedex fairy just delivered. I'm headed to Lantz Pharmacy to meet with the Vera Bradley fairy.
Wifey: Didn't get a reply so I think I sent it to the wrong Steven Cannata,maybe a stunt double???
Me: Must be to pull a stunt like that!
Wifey: Haha funny man! Are they for Verona? How much Vera money do I get???
Wifey: No answer = no limit. Yahooo!!!!!
Wifey: In all seriousness, should I cancel my haircut and plan on getting Michael? You seem to be in the thick of that proposal. I can hit up Lantz on my way home.
Me: No need I'll get him. There is a lull coming, waiting for a sub response.
Wifey: Oh... you have enough time to leave early to get your son, just not enough time to "talk" to your wife. OK, got it. 
Me: You have to sell your old purses first
Wifey: ... I just went in AND around our house - SEVENTEEN tires, none on cars!!!! No deal.
Wifey: I win! Again!
Me: Go count purses now.
Wifey: You SO lose!!! Not counting the "tire" on the "car", SEVEN!!! I even counted the one that's in the bench of the bay window!!
Me: So let's do the math, a car requires 4 tires so 17/4 = 4.25 A person requires one purse 7/1 = 7. 7x4 = 28, I will be buying 11 more tires!!! WIIIIINNNNNAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Wifey: Additionally, there are four seasons in a year, each season demanding a different purse style. I typically wear only black & brown shoes, thereby demanding two shades of purses.Using my husband's car math, I need 8 seasonal purses, I have four places to hang them, thereby NEEDING 32 purses. I'm understocked - whew, I'm going to be busy!!!
Me: Wrong, how many it's possible to carry is irrelevant, only what is required can be used. A car requires 4 tires. And now that you mention it, I can't use R-comps when it's cold or raining so back to my math.... Oh crap, excel said it can't handle a number that big. Emergency tire shortage at the Cannata house!!
Wifey: I DON'T like your ridiculous math and I AM going shopping!! Yes, that was a temper tantrum! That's what you get for giving me no attention today!!
Me: Have you taken my tires to be mounted yet?
Wifey: No - your ass isn't home yet. No place to mount them up into...
Current: 1985 LS1 Corvette | 2014 328i Wagon F31
Former: 2010 Ford Edge | 1999 Integra GS
I have a little bit of a rub near lock but if you are turned to lock on a track there are other problems already...
I lol'd. That sounds like some reasoning we've had at my house...
Steve85 Wrote:Marriage: Tires and Purses
Me: Have you taken my tires to be mounted yet?
Wifey: No - your ass isn't home yet. No place to mount them up into...
lol, amazing!
1994 Ford Ranger
2004 Honda S2000
2007 BMW X3
haha...bravo on the tire math
2010 Civic Si
2019 4Runner TRD Off-Road
--------------------------
Past: 03 Xterra SE 4x4 | 05 Impreza 2.5RS | 99.5 A4 Quattro 1.8T | 01 Accord EX | 90 Maxima GXE | 96 Explorer XLT
Maengelito Wrote:Steve85 Wrote:Marriage: Tires and Purses
Me: Have you taken my tires to be mounted yet?
Wifey: No - your ass isn't home yet. No place to mount them up into...
lol, amazing!
Thank you, Steve, for a great laugh on my Thursday morning. :thumbup:
Now:
'16 Ram 1500 | '97 BMW M3 | Some Press Loan
Then:
87 BMW 325e | 91 BMW 535i | 96 BMW 328i | 95 BMW 325i | 95 Mazda Miata | 13 Focus ST | 09 BMW 128i | 00 Pontiac Firebird | 05 Yukon Denali | 96 BMW 328iC | 11 Ford F-150 | 06 BMW M3 | 10 Range Rover SC | '03 Ford Ranger | '18 Ford F-150 | '01 BMW X5 | '98 Volvo S70 T5M
(11:46:03 AM) Derecola: we should plan something for matt
(11:46:11 AM) RJ: he wont to it
(11:46:32 AM) RJ: or he'll get bitter about it
(11:46:35 AM) RJ: so whats the ponit
(11:47:56 AM) Derecola: he will if it's the right thing
(11:48:02 AM) Derecola: doesn't have to include tits
(11:48:04 AM) Derecola: yes, I said that
(11:48:22 AM) RJ: who the fuck are you and where is chris
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
Chris: gay is contagious
me: yeah, i was spooning your fupa
two in a row re: chris' sexuality.
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
I'm on fire today. Derecola, I know it's dangerous to share this one with you... Anyway, me talking to my ex about how I'm trying to now get with a mutual friend whom I've known since kindergarten. Yes, that whole talking to the ex about new chicks is odd, but it is what it is.
"It's just so awkward... I mean, when I first met her, we were peeing in our pants... And now I'm trying to get in them."
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
RJ: i'm going to get ear fucked by santa music
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
Rex: Later, she broke my heart. Moral of the story? Send that bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
I'm entertaining myself with this thread.
RJ: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S1jAWNqjr1I/AAAAAAAABcU/zLy00r2Iv84/s640/cookiemonster.png">http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S1jAWNqjr1I/AAAAAAAABcU/zLy00r2Iv84/s640/cookiemonster.png</a><!-- m -->
Derecola: evidently he eats carrots now?
RJ: wtf
RJ: dont ruin that for me
Derecola: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBMxpDbp51A">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBMxpDbp51A</a><!-- m -->
RJ: what the fuck is this shit
RJ: this is bullshit
RJ: i'm not watching this shit
RJ: fuck you
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
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![[Image: 1236526347461.jpg]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y166/V1GiLaNtE/1236526347461.jpg)
