2001 BMW X5 3.0i - Soft-Roading on the Cheap

[Jake]

Made it downstairs to plug the scan tool back in just now. Learned a few things.

1. Keys
I re-synced both "diamond" key fobs so that the remotes would work again. They both synchronized and worked to lock/unlock the doors until I turned the car off. Then it was like I had never done it.

2. Dash Indicator Lights
There was a brief moment at first where the fog light indicator, both turn signals, the hazards, and high beams all were indicating properly in the cluster. Then I breathed too hard and they all stopped working again. The fog light indicator came back on briefly (and correctly) when I put the car back in Park.

3. O2 Sensors
I got live data on these! The reader shows the following:
O2B1 S1 - This value changes as I drive
O2B1 S2 - This value is stuck at 0.430 V
O2B2 S1 - This value is stuck at 0.430 V
O2B2 S2 - This value changes as I drive
So, I think I have at least one dead O2 sensor if not two. The pre-cat sensors are the ones that seem to actually matter, though.

4. MAF Mystery
SOLVED. Ish. I noticed the live MAF data on the scan tool was not showing at all, either at idle, when revving in Park, or while accelerating in Drive. Just a 0.00 lb/s readout. Popped the hood and found a MAF that isn't secure in its plastic tube, and appears to have one of the two little prong-y things broken in half. I suppose that'll do it:





I guess I'm ordering a new one.

[Kaan]

ummm... this needs to be on 35s... i need to find the one i saw at Hyperfest last year.

is an LS swap out of the budget?

[JPolen01]

ummm... this needs to be on 35s... i need to find the one i saw at Hyperfest last year.

is an LS swap out of the budget?

Ask and you shall receive.

[Jake]

ummm... this needs to be on 35s... i need to find the one i saw at Hyperfest last year.

is an LS swap out of the budget?

I could put (used) tires on it if I figure out what fits! It has a 17" wheel.

LS swap is very out of budget, lol. Lemme keep this M54 running for now.

[*insertusernamehere*]

ummm... this needs to be on 35s... i need to find the one i saw at Hyperfest last year.

is an LS swap out of the budget?

I could put (used) tires on it if I figure out what fits! It has a 17" wheel.

LS swap is very out of budget, lol. Lemme keep this M54 running for now.

Some quick googling says you should be able to do a 265/65/17 and apparently you'll get another 3/4" in gains

---

https://frederick.craigslist.org/pts/d/m...54820.html

https://baltimore.craigslist.org/pts/d/g...12670.html

i'd bet you could make either of these work

[V1GiLaNtE]

ummm... this needs to be on 35s... i need to find the one i saw at Hyperfest last year.

is an LS swap out of the budget?

Nothing a bit of fender trimming can't fix...

[Jake]

Mileage: 194,750

Great day yesterday with Taylor, Tom, Joey, Lauren, Brandon, and my friends Jack and Tarron who y'all don't know. Thanks to Taylor for the driveway space! We made a lot of progress on the X5 and I learned a lot in the process. So...

Cleaning
Sweet Jesus this thing was disgusting inside. Taylor attacked the hazy headlights with Plastic-X and brought them back to new(er). Joey replaced the torn steering wheel with a $25 junkyard replacement I found yesterday morning in Lorton. Joey and I slathered the seats in Leatherique, which is hilarious but also worked to legitimately clean them up. I vacuumed the interior and removed several pounds of dog hair, lollipop sticks, Beanie Baby hangtags, and coins. Jack and I attacked the carpets with a Rug Doctor and got them surprisingly clean again. It all sounds kind of silly on a $1500 beater, but it does make it a more pleasant place to spend time and will help a little with resale.

The car washed up pretty well, too! 

MAF
The new MAF eliminated the transmission failure light and the car shifts like buttah. Yay.

Wheel Speed Sensor
Tom replaced the WSS on the front right and repaired the shitty already-repaired wiring. The code for "inlet valve, front right" is still there. Harumph.

O2 Sensor
Taylor broke his O2 socket as I arrived so we didn't tackle this yet. The Bank 1 sensors are accessed from the top of the car and don't look all bad to do. 

Electronics
The whole car continues to freak out about random things. The E53 and E39 were early "K-Bus" cars, which is basically like modern Canbus. Every module is more or less on a car-wide network and can talk to each other. If one K-Bus item goes down, it can take down random shit with it. In my case, things go down and then come back based on slamming of doors or hitting bumps or whatever.

Tom replaced the ignition switch and that didn't seem to change anything.

I am turning my attention to the Eonon cheap Chinese radio that's installed now. These radios promise navigation, touchscreen stuff, Bluetooth, etc running on very-old Android for the low price of $300. They include a Canbus Adapter to integrate with steering wheel controls and so on. The E53 is identical to the E39 in that the normal radio setup is a "head unit" and info display (MPG, clock, distance to empty, etc) in the center of the dash, with a CD player above, and the amp/radio tuner in the cargo area. Installing the Eonon fucks with all of this because you just... remove it. 

I got in touch with the previous owner (more on that in a sec) and he said the electronic issues all started when he had Best Buy install the Eonon. So, I'm heading up to Jessup, MD today to the LKQ junkyard. They have two 3.0i pre-LCI X5s and I plan on stealing every fucking piece of the radio from them. I suspect the Eonon has some shitty wiring work behind it and/or the Canbus adapter is failing. 

Previous Owner
Dan and Monique called me last night and were super friendly. They live nearby and owned the X5 from 2003 until about March of this year, it was a dealer demo or something for the first two years. He did much of the work himself and could recall every little thing about it. He claimed that all of this had been done in the last two years:

• Radiator
  
• Water pump
  
• Thermostat
  
• Drive belts
  
• VANOS unit
  
• Valve cover gasket
  
• Spark plugs
  
• Window regulators x4
  
• ABS module rebuild (really)
  
• Bank 2, Sensor 1 O2 replacement
  
• Eonon head unit install (after MID pixels died on OEM unit)
  

So I think it has good bones. He told me about these repairs without my prompting so I don't think he's trying to prove anything about how he cared for it. Moreso just a "oh yeah I did this too" - he was pretty up front with everything and kept adding "oh yeah one more" as we talked for about half an hour. I feel better given they owned it for so long continuously, versus a nine-owner example (*cough* my E46 M3). I am hoping this radio replacement will cure a lot of the electronic ailments or at least provide a good baseline. The car honestly drives fine as-is, but I'd like a bit more consistency in how, like, the reverse lights work.

Under the rear seat:



Tom working on the wheel speed sensor wiring:



"We have to have lines in the carpet or the internet will make fun of you!"





This is what came out of the Rug Doctor:



Cleaned up:



I really don't hate this thing one bit. The trip is going to be rad.

[Senor_Taylor]

Not pictured: Me lying on the garage floor with frozen vegetables on my back after I blew it out. Sorry I couldn't help more!

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk

[davej]

I like how you guys make things nice again.

[.RJ]

Jake thats great progress. Almost makes me want another old BMW. Almost

[Senor_Taylor]

Jake thats great progress. Almost makes me want another old BMW. Almost

The shear torment I felt seeing a new cheap BMW in my driveway...

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk

[Jake]

So I'm back from Crazy Ray's with a new Business CD player, MID/tuner, and amp. The amp works currently so no need to swap it. I pulled the Eonon out and holy wiring hell. Unfortunately, the wiring hell isn't related to my problem. The MID will not light up if I plug it in, but the CD player can eject a disc.

All Googles so far suggest some fucky wiring. Maybe near the parking brake lever? The loss of signals/high beam/fog light and random chimes/door ajar is common among E39 and E53 and it is a K-Bus/Canbus issue. Apparently I can pull Fuse 14 and that may reset... something.

My K-Bus issue comes and goes and seems to be related to putting the car in and out of Park. Maybe some pinched wire near there, I dunno. This would bother me a whole lot less, except the reverse lights don't work as part of this problem. Ugh.

Anyway, the X5 handled the 70 mile round trip to the junkyard with ease. Rides alright.

[Jake]

This is absolutely hilarious but I fixed the cluster problem. I noticed everything would start working if I pulled the handbrake fairly hard. I could flip on a turn signal, pull the handbrake and watch the signal work/not work based on how high up it was pulled.

Popped the boot off of the handbrake and wiggled the wiring harness under/near it, and bam, everything works again.

[.RJ]

roundel whisperer up in here

[JPolen01]

Nice work MacGuyver

[CaptainHenreh]

MOAR GIB MOOOOOOOOAAAARRR

I love this.

[ScottyB]

never in a billion years would i have thought to "jiggle the handle" down in some gulley where the parking brake guts live. this car is clearly meant for your stewardship.

[Jake]

never in a billion years would i have thought to "jiggle the handle" down in some gulley where the parking brake guts live.  this car is clearly meant for your stewardship.

So I was talking to a friend who is a BMW tech and he said to try unplugging the gauge cluster with the car off. Apparently if you unplug the cluster and the headlights turn on, the LCM (light control module) is good. Based on symptoms, I thought it might have been on the fritz and the cluster takes all of three minutes to remove.

I pulled the cluster, the lights came on, and afterward, the cluster started functioning normally. I was putting tools and dashboard bits near the parking brake handle so I'm sure that jiggled things around. I finally noticed a pattern - at first, I thought things only worked in Park, then realized they worked if in Park and brake pulled. D'oh.

[*insertusernamehere*]

Fantastic! Can't wait to see it in person soon, I've never been in this gen X5 and always wanted to!

[Jake]

Fantastic! Can't wait to see it in person soon, I've never been in this gen X5 and always wanted to!

It is, quite literally, an E39 Touring on stilts. Not a terrible place to sit. The original speakers are kinda blown but have enough left in 'em to blast It's Raining Men at full volume with no distortion. Will be perfect for our trip.