Do As I Say, Not As I Do, the MM Lessons Learned Thread

[G.Irish]

I was just thinking about random lessons learned awhile back and had compiled them into a list. Many of these I've learned the hard way, but occassionally I've learned from someone else's misfortune. What are some of your school of hard knocks lessons?

• Dial it back further than you think you need to when driving other people's stuff.
  
  
• Don't try to do what Pete can do.
  
  
• Cold tires will fuck you. In a car cold tires are a footnote. On a bike cold tires may be the start of the worst (or last) day of your life.
  
  
• Use a torque wrench and anti-seize. Anti-seize those nuts.
  
  
• The track may be dry, but if the grass is wet you will be screwed if you leave the track. Adjust your level of aggression accordingly.
  
  
• Buy a factory service manual. Read through to the last step before you get started on a job you're unfamiliar with.
  
  
• Take the brake fluid reservoir off before you try to push the piston back into the caliper.
  
  
• Ratcheting closed end wrenches are worth it. Take care in using them in tight spots, you can ratchet your wrench into being stuck that way.
  
  
• AWD helps you go, but it doesn't help you stop, nor does it help you turn in most cases.
  
  
• Upgrade your brakes before you significantly upgrade your suspension or engine.
  
  
• Don't buy anything from Harbor Freight that you have to put together. If you must, allot more time than you'd think to deal with quality control issues.
  
  
• Before you do a motorcycle track day, do a motorcycle track school. Your motorcycle (and your body) will last longer that way.
  
  
• Do not buy rusty piles from Northern states. The time you spend smashing your knuckles dealing with seized bolts is not worth it.
  
  
• Do a compression test when you're buying a used performance vehicle. Sure it takes time, but it could save you a shit ton of money and hassle. Exception: Subaru BRZ/Scion FR-S
  
  
• You will not get any loving from girls asking you to fix their car. Demand compensation in food or alcohol for your troubles.
  
  
• He who shares a beer, gains a mechanic. Wait till said mechanic is sober though.
  
  
• Wrenching and beer are a great way to spend a day, but they are also a great way to not get done what you intended to. Drink Red Bull (without vodka, Chan) or coffee instead.
  

[ScottyB]

You will not get any loving from girls asking you to fix their car. Demand compensation in food or alcohol for your troubles.

painfully true. seen quite a few dudes get abused by girls that want to take advantage of their good nature or high hopes. i fell for it one time to, did an awful oil change on a POS sentra and got a "oh your so sweet, thanks bye" in return.

• bolt penetrant is not a replacement for genuine leverage. put your stock in breaker bars

• don't drain anything if you haven't checked to see if you can get the fill bolt off

• Gran Turismo might teach you what to expect a car to do, but not how to actually drive

• don't get in a car with anyone that is doing their best to convince you how fast their car is, because i'm almost 100% sure you're about to get in a wreck

• don't be That Guy that cuts over the yellow line in turns during cruises, ever

• you will regret the nice days you didn't take the long way home, because those days aren't as common as you think and life will get in the way any chance it gets

• check your spare tire inflation every once in a while, the time you need it is the time it'll be almost flat

• Fast and Furious references are still always funny, in almost any automotive context

[SlimKlim]

Hah. Good idea for a thread.

• The car is going to cost more than you think its going it. It just will.

• Share your tools but remember who you lend 'em too. (I have someone's valve adjustment kit for an E46 M3 in my garage, DJ? BJ? It belong to someone)

• Flex sockets are worth their weight in gold.

• Jack handles make excellent makeshift breaker bars.

• 3/8in ratchets don't stand up well to jack-handle breaker bars. I think I'm on my 5th one...

• If you're doing anything more intensive than a brake job, take the time to organize and label your bolts, parts and wires. You will not remember what went where. Taking photos is never a bad idea.

• If your garage has BrakeKleen, PB Blaster, Duct Tape, Electrical Tape, Zip Ties, and scrap wire you can fix anything.

• Don't overcorrect. You might almost kill your roommate with a Mercedes SUV.

• No girl will ever sex you solely because of the car you drive. If she will, you don't want it.

[G.Irish]

• No girl will ever sex you solely because of the car you drive. If she will, you don't want it.

This is true. However, having an exotic or something may get you an opportunity, not a slam dunk. So a hot woman might be like, "Oooooohhh, I love your Ferrari." From there you have to close the deal (or at least not fuck it up).

[NTIman]

Just because its easier to make an excuse not to be active doesn't mean that you should make that excuse; driving/racing is a lot more fun than talking about how you're going to do it one day.

If Rex ever wants you to help him move a car, respectfully decline. :thumbup:

[CaptainHenreh]

If Rex ever wants you to help him move a car, respectfully decline. :thumbup:

I'd tell you to go fuck yourself if this weren't totally accurate.

[Kaan]

- Never buy a bike that isnt running... unless you REALLY know what you are doing (i have seen this one a lot)
- You can out run/drive your headlights at night... especially on a motorcycle (FU deer)
- just because YOU can drive/ride through it doesnt mean you should
- shift BEFORE the valves float
- buy the best tools you can afford at the time... eventually you will have real quality in your box
- only let the ones you trust (or just yourself) work on your brakes
- keep motorcycles in a garage, every night they are outside you are flirting with a thief (or a dumb ass driver)
- fix rust as soon as you find it

[SlimKlim]

• When you've just driven 30 minutes home from work and immediately change your oil, its going to be really, really, hot when it gets all over your hand.

[Jake]

The worst time to buy a car is in the dark and/or in the rain.

An even worse time to buy a car is in the snow, massively hungover.

Kaan on speed dial is a godsend.

[BLINGMW]

Drink Red Bull (without vodka, Chan)

:?: next thing you're gonna tell me is it's acceptable to consume orange juice or coca-cola without alcohol in them. :roll:

• Don't ever do or think anything because someone else said it's a good idea. It's only a good idea if you think through it, do your own research, and agree.

• What you drive doesn't matter. If it makes you happy, great. But at the track you should bring whatever makes the most sense, you can afford to crash, or classes well, not your "favorite" car. And on the street, again, it's a tool. Don't spend all your money on it.

• On that note, I lied. A vehicle isn't a tool. It's a weapon. The most dangerous thing you operate every day. Treat it as such and maybe you won't kill yourself or someone else with one.

• You might hear someone say that "autocrossing messes up your track driving", or "driving motorcycles messes up your, I dunno, delivery-truck driving", "doing X will screw up Y". No it won't. Learn from each and apply the applicable lessons to make you better at the other. It's all related.

• Stop and offer to help someone on the side of the road now and then. There's a 20% chance it's me.

• Rain-X is awesome. Have you tried it? I'm often driving with wipers off and watching everyone else thinking, wow I don't think anyone else has tried this!

• I think the whole thread has to be prefaced with-- Learn from other people's mistakes! You'll live longer!

The worst time to buy a car is in the dark...

:lol: oh man, and I thought I was all smart bringing a flashlight when I purchased our latest E46. WRONG. I wish you had reminded me.

• When you've just driven 30 minutes home from work and immediately change your oil, its going to be really, really, hot when it gets all over your hand.

Changing oil hot seems to be a thing people actually recommend. I bet 99.9% of it comes out when cold.

[.RJ]

[*]Don't try to do what Pete can do.

Aint that the fucking truth.

[nismosam]

• Wrenching and beer are a great way to spend a day, but they are also a great way to not get done what you intended to. Drink Red Bull (without vodka, Chan) or coffee instead.
  

All too true (on all of these)

[navin]

- Don't ask DJ if you should purchase something for your car... the wallet will end up lighter.
- Restorations are stupid
- Don't let car life take over regular life
- Always take care of the people that help you wrench -- pizza, beers, etc

[D_Eclipse9916]

You will not get any loving from girls asking you to fix their car. Demand compensation in food or alcohol for your troubles.

painfully true. seen quite a few dudes get abused by girls that want to take advantage of their good nature or high hopes. i fell for it one time to, did an awful oil change on a POS sentra and got a "oh your so sweet, thanks bye" in return.

• check your spare tire inflation every once in a while, the time you need it is the time it'll be almost flat

I disagree completely with that statement.


Spare tire inflation is big. I only once got a flat on my DSM in 7 years. In 3 years with my 2 trucks I have gotten 4.

- It is better to have a friend with a trailer than to own trailer (like owning a boat)
- Driving time is driving time, even when driving home, remember to loosen up your hands on the wheel and smooth your inputs.
- When you are stuck on a project and that bolt is not breaking loose. Step back, have a couple beers in the house, and come back out. It's like the bolt will magically unseat itself.
- It is better to do it yourself than to trust untrained people working on your car.

Probably the most important:
- If you are not having fun, don't do it. Loosen up and have fun, your only young once.

[V1GiLaNtE]

My personal rule and lesson is NEVER SKIMP ON(pending the car):

- Wipers
- Tires
- Oil

These three things alone will provide you with years of happy and safe driving.

- JEEP really does equal Just Empty Every Pocket
- Take the knowledge and years of pain,lost money, experience from ALUMS to heart. This people have seen some shit.
- Buy the right tool for the job. You'll thank yourself
- Take every opportunity to learn something on a different car. You may find yourself in position to help others.
- Step #1. Remove front clip. FU
- Buy Once. Cry Once.

[Jake]

- Buy the right tool for the job. You'll thank yourself

This, times a million.

[Kaan]

- Buy the right tool for the job. You'll thank yourself

This, times a million.

this will lead to:

- Buy the biggest tool box you can afford

[CaptainHenreh]

Never buy anything from Harbor Freight that could not be used as a hammer.

[Seantn1k]

• Don't try to do what Pete can do.
  

True lol.

If you're new to riding a motorcycle, here are some things to make note of:

• Do not ride a bike up a motorcycle ramp, walk it up.
  
  
• Do not park a motorcycle on an elevated porch.
  
  
• Do not attempt a motorcycle jump from said elevated porch. (accidental or on purpose)
  
  
• If said jump occurs, remember to keep a camera handy.(hindsight is a wicked mistress)
  
  
• Do not accept a lift on a motorcycle from Pete after said jump. (wheelies and endos will ensue) :thumbup:
  

[NTIman]

Never buy anything from Harbor Freight that could not be used as a hammer.

That's a good one. But almost anything *could* be used as a hammer.

If Rex ever wants you to help him move a car, respectfully decline. :thumbup:

I'd tell you to go fuck yourself if this weren't totally accurate.

Yep. Though the memmories I have of picking up or looking at a car are memories I'll never forget. Good times, good times. I think you could add a section in this thread about how to not get 9 tickets in a day.