Kids and the intermanet

[.RJ]

what if you just keep the kids in crates? works with my dogs.

[Apoc]

Restriction is probably the worse thing you can do. Helicopter parents are the worst. 

These things are not the same.

Also, doing nothing is the worst you can do.

[rherold9]

Restriction is probably the worse thing you can do. Helicopter parents are the worst. 

These things are not the same.

Also, doing nothing is the worst you can do.

Oh shit we talking about balance now? Based off previous political posts I'm surprised that's your answer [emoji6]

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[davej]

Restriction is probably the worse thing you can do. Helicopter parents are the worst. 

These things are not the same.

Also, doing nothing is the worst you can do.

I talk to my kids about firearm safety, but that doesn't mean I don't lock up the guns and ammo from them. 

Steve, thanks for your post, there's a lot of wisdom in there.

[ScottyB]

what if you just keep the kids in crates?  works with my dogs.

if you gave mine an ipad loaded with Disney movies and a bowl of M&M's, not only could you do that, but you could make it work for at least 6 hours.  he already climbs in there on his own...

[GTBrandon]

I don't think protecting them from the web will help in the long-run. Like you said, as soon as they go out (this is a mobile world, they will be in this un-restricted arena much more often than on home wifi) they will have access to whatever you are trying to block. The internet is meant for information discovery, good or bad, and just with life, seeing the bad is going to happen, and leads to learning experiences.

Also consider, just because there is something bad out there, doesn't mean they are going to find it. Unless they are searching, it's not just going to be thrown at them. Want to know how I found most of the terrible stuff on the internet? My friends sharing. I didn't go out of my way to discover this, it's how it will work and there's nothing you can do to prevent it.

The best solution? Be open about it, talk to your kids, tell them what is appropriate and what isn't. Set your standards for how you use the internet, and how you believe they should use it as well. Encourage them to share what they find, and keep a rolling and open discussion. Introduce them to educational yet more mature content on youtube etc, so they feel a desire to keep you in the loop.

This is just my two cents as someone who grew up with the internet as a kid and did not have any censorship. I can assure you, it wouldn't have worked for me, and kids today are only getting smarter and more savvy when it comes to technology as it practically runs their lives.

[Evan]

You guys who say "Ill have a conversation with my kid and they will never do anything wrong" are living in a fantasy world.
The right answer is never either-or.
Oddly, a lot of opinions from people who dont have kids.

there is OpenDNS family filter.
https://www.opendns.com/setupguide/#familyshield
free, no plugins, no install, works on the network level, set and forget once in your router.

Unless your kid figures out the IP addresses for pornhub,(or how to use a VPN, or a proxy) its foolproof. *cough*
(unfortunately?) that goes for you too. Unless you figure out the IP addresses for pornhub......

[GTBrandon]

You guys who say "Ill have a conversation with my kid and they will never do anything wrong" are living in a fantasy world.
The right answer is never either-or.
Oddly, a lot of opinions from people who dont have kids.

there is OpenDNS family filter.
https://www.opendns.com/setupguide/#familyshield
free, no plugins, no install, works on the network level, set and forget once in your router.

Unless your kid figures out the IP addresses for pornhub,(or how to use a VPN, or a proxy) its foolproof. *cough*
(unfortunately?) that goes for you too. Unless you figure out the IP addresses for pornhub......

Gee if only there were videos on youtube for how to download a VPN within minutes...
M

[Evan]

Gee if only there were videos on youtube for how to download a VPN within minutes...
M

Try reading the whole post before poorly attempting snark

Unless your kid figures out the IP addresses for pornhub,(or how to use a VPN,  or a proxy)  its foolproof.  *cough*

[GTBrandon]

Gee if only there were videos on youtube for how to download a VPN within minutes...
M

Try reading the whole post before poorly attempting snark

Unless your kid figures out the IP addresses for pornhub,(or how to use a VPN,  or a proxy)  its foolproof.  *cough*

Why post it in the first place if we’ve agreed censorship won’t work and can be easily bypassed [emoji1743]‍[emoji3603]

[JPolen01]

Thankfully I don't need to worry about this for a long time, but I am strongly in the camp of any censorship at the home level is fruitless. They will look at whatever they want on the bus, at a friend's house, etc. I think education is key. My parents never talked to me about the internet specifically, but my first phone was not a smartphone and our desktop was in the study off the family room so not very personal.

All the raunchy videos and crazy websites were shown to me by friends with older brothers or my older friends. I turned out alright I think.

From my experience, the children with the strictest parents limiting everything they did became the most rebellious, troubled kids I know. Anecdotal, I know.

[WRXtranceformed]

I will be firmly in the camp of educating our kids about the dangers out there, both real and virtual, and we will absolutely put restrictions on any digital devices they use. They will for sure run into unsavory content via friends or other places but just throwing your hands up and allowing free access to the internet to your children because "they're going to see it anyway" ignores the likelihood that you will enable addiction.

My hope is that by the time they have developed the ability to reason and make decisions on their own, our moral compass will be firmly implanted in them and they will make good choices about what they expose themselves to. It's not just about making these choices at a young age, even as adults I believe we need to filter what we expose ourselves to. Just like the rest of your body, your mind is "garbage in, garbage out" in terms of what you feed it

[Apoc]

Why post it in the first place if we’ve agreed censorship won’t work and can be easily bypassed [emoji1743]‍[emoji3603]

Whitelisting can be done at the MAC address or device IP level, preventing kid's devices from getting online.

It's odd that seeing bad content is the only success criteria people have and that because they may see it from their friends, there's no point. My eight year old might get alcohol from friends, but does that mean I want to leave bottles of liquor lying around the house? Or they might be able to play with guns at a friend's house. Does that mean I don't lock up my guns? There's a lot to be said for setting boundaries with your kids and having ways to enforce them. 

My guess is the feedback here is because much of it is coming from 20-something males. Has anyone been the target of grooming by a sexual predator, or had a kid failing classes because they were chatting at 2 am on a previously reported "lost" ipad? I have friends, whose parenting and reasoning ability I respect, experience both of these. Even if you haven't, are you suggesting these aren't things that you actively want to try and prevent beyond "Just Say No"? Do you want the first time you realize your kid is being bullied online to be when they commit suicide?

I agree all these things blow up in the news, but look at the statistics from a reputable study. This stuff does happen with regularity and they do have lasting impacts of kids. I don't really care if my kids sees two girls one cup - mine is not yet 2.5 and I've already started talking to him about how kids are made and introduced him to (respectful) images with nudity. That doesn't mean I don't want to know if he's doing other things that are legitimately harmful to him or others. Using these tools, you can get a sense of how your kid behaves online which then fosters the discussion.

Here's some sample stats:

• Approximately 1 in 7 (13%) youth Internet users received unwanted sexual solicitations. 8
  
• 9% of youth Internet users had been exposed to distressing sexual material while online. 8
  
• Predators seek youths vulnerable to seduction, including those with histories of sexual or physical abuse, those who post sexually provocative photos/videos online, and those who talk about sex with unknown people online. 10
  
• 1 in 25 youths received an online sexual solicitation in which the solicitor tried to make offline contact. 10
  
• In more than one-quarter (27%) of incidents, solicitors asked youths for sexual photographs of themselves. 10
  
• The most common first encounter of a predator with an Internet-initiated sex crimes victim took place in an online chat room (76%). 16
  
• In nearly half (47%) of the cases involving an Internet-initiated sex crimes victim, the predator offered gifts or money during the relationship-building phase. 16
  
• Internet-based predators used less deception to befriend their online victims than experts had thought. Only 5% of the predators told their victims that they were in the same age group as the victims. Most offenders told the victims that they were older males seeking sexual relations. 16
  
• 15% of cell-owning teens (12–17) say they have received sexually suggestive nude/seminude images of someone they know via text. 11
  
• Of respondents to a survey of juvenile victims of Internet-initiated sex crimes, the majority met the predator willingly face-to-face and 93% of those encounters had included sexual contact. 16
  

https://www.nsopw.gov/en-US/Education/Fa...technology

[WRXtranceformed]

It's odd that seeing bad content is the only success criteria people have and that because they may see it from their friends, there's no point. My eight year old might get alcohol from friends, but does that mean I want to leave bottles of liquor lying around the house? Or they might be able to play with guns at a friend's house. Does that mean I don't lock up my guns? There's a lot to be said for setting boundaries with your kids and having ways to enforce them. 

That was a great analogy and more eloquently said than my point, but I agree and that's the same approach we will take with our children

[G.Irish]

All I can say for the idea that, "kids will circumvent it anyway" is that no security measure is foolproof unless you make it inaccessible to everyone. Since that is not a viable option, what you are doing is making it difficult enough to circumvent for the technical expertise of the child that they won't get into stuff they're not supposed to. And even with that, you take different measures for different ages.

For a kid under 10, I would use a whitelisting for awhile, then blacklisting with monitoring. For a teenager I would move more towards giving them free reign with a few restrictions and with monitoring. Ultimately over time you're trying to teach them how to operate in the real world as an adult, and to do that they need to ease into learning how to navigate the internet and the dangers therein.

All I know is that things are gonna get a lot wilder on the internet in the coming years with deep fakes and far more sophisticated trolling.

[Senor_Taylor]

Oddly, a lot of opinions from people who dont have kids.

You would be one of those middle aged women in community colleges starting every sentence with "Well, as a mother..."




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[Ken]

Oddly,  a lot of opinions from people who dont have kids.  

You would be one of those middle aged women in community colleges starting every sentence with "Well, as a mother..."




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I mean, he's been to Europe, so...

[Evan]

Oddly,  a lot of opinions from people who dont have kids.  

You would be one of those middle aged women in community colleges starting every sentence with "Well, as a mother..."

Stay in your lane,  white privilege male patriarchy

[CaptainHenreh]

Oddly,  a lot of opinions from people who dont have kids.  

You would be one of those middle aged women in community colleges starting every sentence with "Well, as a mother..."

Stay in your lane,  white privilege male patriarchy

While some may not *have* kids, they all *were* kids, and a perspective shared with someone who didn't grow up with a ubiquitous online technology from someone who did about someone who will might be useful...

[JPolen01]

^Bingo. This is why I stated that education is key and censorship is a losing battle. WiFi is everywhere. You cannot stop a curious mind from finding what they want once they step out of your WiFi zone. Sure if it makes you feel better they can't look at porn hub in your house then go for locking down the internet. But if you think they won't hop right on google at the bus stop or their friend's house you are in for a world of hurt. 

I think this problem is much broader. Kids need to be taught common sense, how to spot something that is too good to be true, and how not to get conned. Kids these days are much smarter and adapt to the internet, but they need to be taught how to use it properly. The most not surprising study of 2018 - old people do not understand the internet. This is the time for you guys with young kids to educate so they do not end up like today's seniors when it comes to the internet.