MM Speakeasy (The Spirits Thread)

[V1GiLaNtE]

I'll just stick to my shaken vodka martinis. Maybe when I turn 60 my palate will change.

[CaptainHenreh]

It's not a matter of trying more gin (or whatever) for some folks - they just don't like the flavor at all. I have yet to taste a gin that didn't make me want to do this... including Hendricks.

This is fine. 

But saying "I despise gin and everything that has gin in it" doesn't mean you get to substitute the gin in a cocktail with a spirit whose best quality is that it is "odorless and tasteless" and still call it a Martini. So you like alcoholic olive brine. COOL. Good for you. But maybe don't say how much you love martinis, ya feel what I'm saying?

---

Like, let's say I love mint juleps, but bourbon tastes like crayons and smells like old men so I substitute bourbon for spiced rum. Brown spirit is brown spirit, yeah? 

So I still love mint juleps, right? Right guys?

[Apoc]

I understand your point, but reject it.

I also call consumer grade flying cameras 'drones' because language changes over time.

[rherold9]

[Apoc]

---

Like, let's say I love mint juleps, but bourbon tastes like crayons and smells like old men so I substitute bourbon for spiced rum. Brown spirit is brown spirit, yeah? 

So I still love mint juleps, right? Right guys?

I mean....

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016369-rum-julep

[CaptainHenreh]

---

Like, let's say I love mint juleps, but bourbon tastes like crayons and smells like old men so I substitute bourbon for spiced rum. Brown spirit is brown spirit, yeah? 

So I still love mint juleps, right? Right guys?

I mean....

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016369-rum-julep

Right. And honestly, these are probably delicious. But they aren't mint juleps. It's a, well, let's be honest it's a fuckin' mojito with no soda and no lime. (Oh a more boring mojito, that's what that needed.   )

But if I ask for a mint julep at a bar and the bartender reaches for rum he's gonna get corrected with a "uh excuse me but wtf are you doing?" (And I've sent Mint Juleps back to the bar before. It should not be green what the FUCK, when I asked if you could make a mint julep and if you "had any mint" I didn't mean creme de minthe, jfc)

[Apoc]

That's why when you order a vodka martini, you say "vodka martini" and not "martini."

[CaptainHenreh]

That's why when you order a vodka martini, you say "vodka martini" and not "martini."

I can make peace with this distinction, with that acknowledgement, not "I love martinis, but no gin please."

Because then, you, you know...don't. You could say "I love vodka martinis" and you can even add "The dirtier the better" which says what I really need to know about you and your dead palate.

[Apoc]

https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/ad-hominem

[CaptainHenreh]

https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/ad-hominem

I mean considering we're talking literally about personal tastes, I'm ok with this.

---

"I love ice cream but I hate dairy cough so I only eat sherbert."

See how silly that is? 

"I love hamburgers but I only eat Black Bean Morningstar patties because I'm a vegan."

C'mon breh.

[.RJ]

A rum julep is a mojito....

Just sayin'

Whether is correct or not, when 98% of people order a Martini, they want Vodka ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[V1GiLaNtE]

You know what's interesting? Google "Martini Recipe" and the first hit's recipe at the top of the page says:

Directions

1. Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice; shake vigorously.
   

So I can't be that off. Also, still gonna say I like Martini's, but hate gin. It's more fun this way.


Also,

But saying "I despise gin and everything that has gin in it" doesn't mean you get to substitute the gin in a cocktail with a spirit whose best quality is that it is "odorless and tasteless" and still call it a Martini. So you like alcoholic olive brine. COOL. Good for you. But maybe don't say how much you love martinis, ya feel what I'm saying?

---

Like, let's say I love mint juleps, but bourbon tastes like crayons and smells like old men so I substitute bourbon for spiced rum. Brown spirit is brown spirit, yeah? 

So I still love mint juleps, right? Right guys?

I disagree with this completely. Rum, is not accepted as a "brown spirit" substituent in a mint julep. You don't go to the bar and say "Um yes, can I order a Mint julep please?" and the response is "Oh, right away good sir. Would you like that with Bourbon or Rum?". 

Ask for a Martini and I'll bet your bartender is going to ask "Gin or Vodka"?

[CaptainHenreh]

You know what's interesting? Google "Martini Recipe" and the first hit's recipe at the top of the page says:

I already linked to the ANSI standard martini, which isn't shaken. Just because some rando says to shake it doesn't mean you should shake. You dont' shake because it dilutes the alcohol, and you're drinking basically straight alcohol for chrissakes, why would you dilute it? Stirring makes it just as cold, but doesn't dilute*. That's why you stir, don't shake. The only reason people shake martinis is because of James Bond, who drank scotch in the books so ::idunno::

Alton brown says gin and stir. I'm sure Derecola will be by any minute now to post this despite doing this himself. But it's fine. Drink whatever you want, however you want it. I'm just gonna give you shit for it.

(sidenote: I don't even really like gin all that much, and I hate olives, so I have my (stirred) martinis with a twist most of the time. But they are definitely gin, and that's what I'm going for when I have a martini.) 

Ok, we done? Can we have the "WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!?" argument now?




*as much

[.RJ]

Whisky can have one small ice cube. None more. Fight me.

[Evan]

words cannot describe how fucking lame this thread got.

Go bicker about your shitty old man drinks somewhere else

[rherold9]

words cannot describe how fucking lame this thread got.

Go bicker about your shitty old man drinks somewhere else

+1

[RawrImAMonster]

words cannot describe how fucking lame this thread got.

Go bicker about your shitty old man drinks somewhere else

+1

+2

Alcohol snobbery is dumb.  The point of drinking alcohol is literally the intoxicating effects so you can only pretend to be so fancy.

[V1GiLaNtE]

words cannot describe how fucking lame this thread got.

Go bicker about your shitty old man drinks somewhere else

Evan, what's your go to?

[rherold9]

Evan, what's your go to?

Judging by this chart




I'd say Gin, Vodka or Rubbing Alcohol. Really depends on his mood for the day!

[CaptainHenreh]

This thread is what you make it, y'all. 

Sidenote: Everything Fevertree makes seems to be amazing. Tonic, great. Ginger beer? Great. Elderflower tonic? Oh man. A+, would G&T it every time. Just FYI.