Who has had some crazy professors?

[Goodspeed]

Anybody? Share some stories of strange/unique/crazy professors you've had. My craziest so far has to be my current English professor...hes got a great sense of humor and says some crazy stuff. Today went something like this...

Prof: Anyone have any good spring break stories? Someone in the earlier class said they tried mushrooms...I'm not going to say whether or not I do those, but I think you can infer

(Student comes in late)
Prof: Blair, you tardy motherfucker
Blair: Sorry, I fell off my bike on the way here
Prof: Oh, so you're an injured tardy motherfucker?

He then went on to tell us a story about how, years ago, he went jogging in the snow by the arboretum after eating "10,000 calories" worth of Velveeta cheese, and proceeded to shit his pants and how he cleaned himself off with snow and "how his balls froze", and then how he took several hours to waddle 3 miles home because he had severe "diaper rash".

[bassmangrammy]

Thank God I'm in the business school.

[ScottyB]

haha that's awesome. all my professors worth noting are art profs.

if anyone at JMU takes any form of graphic design or illustration class, take Rich Hilliard (<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.richhilliard.com/">http://www.richhilliard.com/</a><!-- m -->)

he's a no-bullshit, hilarious guy from NY that has a ridiculous temper but if you're on his good side he's one of the funniest people i've ever seen. i loved his classes and took about 4 of them. very skilled professionally as well.

he once told a story of how he and his wife were driving down the freeway in NY and some guy cut him off very dangerously. he then talked about how he stalked this guy all the way to the mall, where he proceeded to cruise around until he found a shopping cart. he then wheeled it all the way back to the guy's car and hurled it, overhead thow, onto his hood repeatedly from a few feet back. someone in the class asked him if he was being serious, and he looked back at her like she asked him if he eats babies. "i'm serious as a fucking heart attack!" after the shock wore off we all laughed and he told more stories about new york. Rich has the greatest office in all of JMU. it's a comic book store memorabilia explosion.


there was also Professor William Tate -- industrial design. he is a weird dude. i don't even have any really specific stories because he's just weird all the time. a cool genius, but weird. in his history of architecture class he used to lean up against the pedestal in really weird ways, like he was stretching for a jog or something. it used to freak the girls out a bit. his tests were amazing....i recall an essay on one test was to come up with reasons why army was better than navy, or to put eloquently why harrisonburg's corporate architecture sucks, citing the specific buildings. you could basically write poetry about trees for all he cared as long as you pointed out how cool modern architecture is and that McMansions and mini malls are gay.

[WRXtranceformed]

Tate was unbelievable. He was hands down the reason why I decided to pursue my interior design minor.

[Dave]

OMG, I might have to enroll in some classes just to see some of this shit.

My favorite was my English Literature teacher, Prof. Morley Mower (sp?). He was an extremely old British guy but he was funny as hell, talked about love/sex at least once every class, and I just really enjoyed his class. Nothing in particular sticks out in my mind, but he was a trip, plus the class was pretty easy. Sadly, I believe he passed away a year or two ago.

[ScottyB]

Tate was unbelievable. He was hands down the reason why I decided to pursue my interior design minor.

funny you say that, i still remember when he chewed your project out in front of the interior design class and you got fed up and just waltzed out. he was a fun guy though.

[HAULN-SS]

Dr. Abzug int he CS department was one of the smartest guys I'd ever met. He's probably close to 70, jewish, has like 4 degrees, and was taught as an undergrad by John Nash. He'd get these ridiculous jokes off the internet - chainmail type jokes, and come in and read them off to the class, changing all the naughty words to something like "poop" and laugh hysterically, to the point of almost not being about to get the word out. THat was often funnier than the joke. Then the rest of his lectures would be the most dry boring things ever

[BLAIR]

Tate is awesome. A true life changing teacher. and you cant beat him bringing in mountain dew on test days :lol:

[BLINGMW]

I had two. One a british guy at Tech, Glanville I think, I took an honors chem class from him my first year I think. He was always interesting to listen to, and his in-class demos sure kept us awake. I didn't really like chem, but from this guy, it was worthwhile. The four I can think of right off hand:
1) Turned up a bottle of liquid oxygen (it's only like -180 deg C), breathed/drank it in, and smoked a whole cig in one breath.
2) Had a bunch of balloons full of different explosive gasses suspended from the ceiling that he shot arrows at.
3) Another liquid oxygen one, poured it over two crumbled up ritz crackers and lit it up like a damn rocket engine.
4) Bloopers reel: filled up a flask with acid and baking soda or something like that, had a balloon attached to the top, but I guess he used a little too much and it exploded all over the people in the front.

The other is also at VT:


He is essentially the Nutty Professor. "Learning" differential equations and vector geometry from him was ludicrous. He would always be late and come stumbling in with his huge box of papers. He would usually catch his breath by the end of class, it was really a sight. And he was ANIMATED. He got really excited about this stuff. Could reverse solve huge matrices in his head, I think that was fun for him. Sadly he didn't see how us non-savants couldn't get it. :evileye:

[ViPER1313]

I have had a bunch of crazy professors at JMU - I will name a few:

William O'Meara - Philosophy 101


Comes in the first day of class (my 1st class ever at JMU, 8am) and does a 40 minute monologue about Socrates and the Socratic commitment. Later in the semester goes on to tell us stories relating out of body experiences to what he "assumed what would be like doing acid, not that he knew (wink wink)" and how he fell in love with one of his female students, who he later brought to dinner to meet his wife. Nice guy though.

Johnathan Walker - Geography 200 : The Global Dimension


Like he was on coke the entire time, incredibly entertaining. Admitted to doing tons of it in the 80s on about 5 different occasions. Would run around the room and ask people questions the entire class. He went around a 200 person lecture hall on the first day of class, asked everyone in the class their name, then went back around and recited everyones name back (about 95% correct after 1 pass) - still knows my name 2 years later. The nicest person you will ever meet too - just an all round awesome / great guy.

Joshua Strozeski - Political Science 200, Current Issues (no longer with JMU)

1st white male to graduate with a doctorate in African studies from Howard University in 15 years IIRC, spent tons of time in Cote D'ivoire / other parts of Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer, informed on every current political issue known to man, runs long distance marathons as a hobby, and is only in his early 30s at the latest. His stories would make your spine cringe - he has probably seen more in his lifetime than 95% of us ever will. More notable ones include:

-when a sick girl died in his arms after being shaken violently by its mother.
-when he was chased out of a village at gunpoint after telling a man with full blown AIDS (in his 50s) to wear condoms with his 15y/o bride.

[WRXtranceformed]

Tate was unbelievable. He was hands down the reason why I decided to pursue my interior design minor.

funny you say that, i still remember when he chewed your project out in front of the interior design class and you got fed up and just waltzed out. he was a fun guy though.

What the fuck are you talking about Scott??? I honestly can't remember a time he chewed any of my individual projects out lol...... all I can remember is him sweating my dick on all of my individual projects and him giving me shit for all of the projects I had with all of my worthless waste of space female partners I had on my other ones....

[Hunter]

Anyone every have Dr. Warne?



That guy is hilarious, I mean I would cry from laughter at least twice a week in that "I can't believe what is happening" kinda way.

[JustinG]

Walker was the man, still knows me three years later as well, again admitted using coke and wore native phillipino clothing on occasion because his wife is phillipino. Wrecked his bike, came in for class, "Well i just got fucked up......proceeded to tell story"...Great guy

[ViPER1313]

Anyone every have Dr. Warne?



That guy is hilarious, I mean I would cry from laughter at least twice a week in that "I can't believe what is happening" kinda way.

I will second that - just ran into him the other day as a matter of fact :thumbup:

[Hunter]

I would tell some awesome Dr. Warne stories now, but I have an 8am exam that is going to violate me in ways that I can't even put on the internet.


The professor for that class isn't exactly entertaining, maybe way to brilliant for his own good though.

[Ryan T]

I have a teacher who took like 7 years off after graduation and is now back in grad school just about to defend his dissertation. He was telling us stories about when he worked at a movie theatre going up into the projection room after a movie started and smoking bongs with the other employees and devouring popcorn while the movie was going.

We were talking one day about drug use in teens and he goes:

Him: But the weed these days is so crazy.
Me: Oh is it now?
Him: ....uhhh....from what I've heard.

[ScottyB]

What the fuck are you talking about Scott??? I honestly can't remember a time he chewed any of my individual projects out lol.....

haha i'm pretty sure it was right towards the beginning of the semester in the int. des. class we were both in. he was giving you grief about some draft you did and you got fed up and left class early. this is like 2-3 years ago?...so my memory could be messed up but i remember something like that. that was a kick ass class though.

[Dave]

The Warnes are a trip. First off, it's ludicrous that they both teach the same subjects, same school, same building, it's just nuts. Second, they're just alike. The Mr. has a bit more of a sense of humor, but they both act like they took a pile of speed right before class. Shit, I'd get tired just from watching them run around the class room. Huntor, you must fill us in on some of your crazy stories about him!

[HAULN-SS]

haha. Debra Warne was my advisor, and I had a few classes with her. One day she had just gotten out a new piece of chalk, and was flailing around explaning something, and dropped it, and it shattered into 3 pieces(like chalk always does), and looked up at the class iwth like the most pitiful expression on her face - it was hilarious.

[Kaan]

My advisor and prof for several of my psych classes... she was CRAZY! we were supposed to cover 5 chapters a week... no big deal its college right... in her lectures she couldnt even get past the first two pages in the first chapter. It was a "read the book, attend my class and dont fall asleep, and hopefully you know whats on the test" kind of class.

she looked like a left over from the 60s. She made her own clothes... "business" clothes no less. she only had the big swap meet home made jewlery on. Brilliant lady... but she was an awful prof! I could have sworn she was still smoking pot between classes.

Its been a while since i've been in school so i cant even remember her name... but if you see an old hippy prof in home made dresses... that used to work for scotland yard... thats her... and run like hell!