03-31-2016, 09:18 AM
A year ago I was pretty chill driving a Prius, just me and my almost 2 year old.
Then last month I found myself with not only an almost 3 year old still in a carseat, but an 8 year old and a beautiful wife. We barely fit in the Prius. Something had to give.
We didn't want a Minivan, but felt we needed a third row after taking my stepdaughter and her friend to the waterpark, and realizing that if we'd had Nanners that day we'd have been shit out of luck. So what do you buy when you need a third row, but don't want sliding doors?
We examined the following:
X5
MDX
Flex
Wife's uncle has a Flex and wife had already driven and ridden in it multiple times. Liked the idea. Thought it was well suited for us. I knew that I could get one with 365hp and all wheel drive, so I was game. Putting some feelers out, I got a call from a local dealer who had a "loaded Flex" with "everything" that I could just take for a few days, see how I liked it. I took it home, loaded the girls in it, helped the wife move the last of her stuff out of her old house, and thought "Damn. This thing is a DOG. Why is it so slow?" I pop the hood and apparently "loaded" with "everything" means "still has the boat anchor 286hp NA 3.5 V6." This isn't a BAD motor per se, but the car is quite large, and loaded up with boxes and white girl bullshit (Why is there a SADDLE in my house?) it definitely had trouble getting out of it's own way.
I return the car, tell the guy "Turbo is a requirement, find me one with a power panoramic roof for $fairprice and I'll buy it." He hemmed and hawed and said "Well you're asking for a car that was 50 grand new, how am I supposed to make any money selling you one for $totallyfairprice even if I find it and I looked all over!"
You making money is your job. Me saving money is mine. You can't find me a car, we can't do business. Simple as that.
In my searchings, I find a car in OHIO of all places. Off-Lease, CPO, for less than edmunds TMV. Gotta be a piece of shit, right? Email sales manager, he sends me pictures of anything I ask while I'm on the phone with him. Leased, serviced, and now sold all at the same dealer. Shit, I'll take it. So I drove my wife's 1/4million mile Maxima to buttfuq, Ohio yesterday to buy this:
![[Image: 9f5d2b44-0f25-4863-ab60-7b59a51aaa3f_zpsedithbrr.jpg]](http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g271/MMRex/Flex/9f5d2b44-0f25-4863-ab60-7b59a51aaa3f_zpsedithbrr.jpg)
A 2013 Ford Flex Limited Ecoboost. I get there and it's cherry. I can find precisely nothing wrong with the car. No wear on the seats, it's clean as a whistle, even has the rear cargo net still in the bag. I do not bother negotiating, the price is fair, I have driven deep into enemy territory for this thing. Give me the car. He tosses the keys at me and I head home. Real talk: Nothing will tell you if you like a car like spending 5 and a half hours in it right off the bat but I think it's damn near perfect for my family. Loads of space, very comfortable and for the sheer size of the car, almost absurdly rowdy. Excellent road manners driving "normally" but if you need to GO, you just press the skinny pedal and the car says "Oh, you want speed? OK YOU SON OF A BITCH LET'S PARTY" and she scoots.
OG window sticker:
![[Image: 1d3ab2f3-c873-4723-901d-aa6dbadfb6dc_zpsk25uc14y.jpg]](http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g271/MMRex/Flex/1d3ab2f3-c873-4723-901d-aa6dbadfb6dc_zpsk25uc14y.jpg)
This isn't "everything" you could get in a Flex. It has pushbutton start and the panoramic roof, which were requirements, but you could also get adaptive cruise, cooled seats, parking assist and a power folding rear seat. Hell, you could get a refrigerated center console if you wanted but I'm kind of glad I didn't. I feel like this is a good balance between "stuff that is cool AF" and "stuff that is going to be impossible to fix when it breaks in 5 years." Besides, they didnt' sell that many Ecoboost Flexes (Aka: SHOFlex) in the first place. This one has everything I want and a nice bonus in the tow package.
Anyway, hate away.
Then last month I found myself with not only an almost 3 year old still in a carseat, but an 8 year old and a beautiful wife. We barely fit in the Prius. Something had to give.
We didn't want a Minivan, but felt we needed a third row after taking my stepdaughter and her friend to the waterpark, and realizing that if we'd had Nanners that day we'd have been shit out of luck. So what do you buy when you need a third row, but don't want sliding doors?
We examined the following:
X5
MDX
Flex
Wife's uncle has a Flex and wife had already driven and ridden in it multiple times. Liked the idea. Thought it was well suited for us. I knew that I could get one with 365hp and all wheel drive, so I was game. Putting some feelers out, I got a call from a local dealer who had a "loaded Flex" with "everything" that I could just take for a few days, see how I liked it. I took it home, loaded the girls in it, helped the wife move the last of her stuff out of her old house, and thought "Damn. This thing is a DOG. Why is it so slow?" I pop the hood and apparently "loaded" with "everything" means "still has the boat anchor 286hp NA 3.5 V6." This isn't a BAD motor per se, but the car is quite large, and loaded up with boxes and white girl bullshit (Why is there a SADDLE in my house?) it definitely had trouble getting out of it's own way.
I return the car, tell the guy "Turbo is a requirement, find me one with a power panoramic roof for $fairprice and I'll buy it." He hemmed and hawed and said "Well you're asking for a car that was 50 grand new, how am I supposed to make any money selling you one for $totallyfairprice even if I find it and I looked all over!"
You making money is your job. Me saving money is mine. You can't find me a car, we can't do business. Simple as that.
In my searchings, I find a car in OHIO of all places. Off-Lease, CPO, for less than edmunds TMV. Gotta be a piece of shit, right? Email sales manager, he sends me pictures of anything I ask while I'm on the phone with him. Leased, serviced, and now sold all at the same dealer. Shit, I'll take it. So I drove my wife's 1/4million mile Maxima to buttfuq, Ohio yesterday to buy this:
![[Image: 9f5d2b44-0f25-4863-ab60-7b59a51aaa3f_zpsedithbrr.jpg]](http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g271/MMRex/Flex/9f5d2b44-0f25-4863-ab60-7b59a51aaa3f_zpsedithbrr.jpg)
A 2013 Ford Flex Limited Ecoboost. I get there and it's cherry. I can find precisely nothing wrong with the car. No wear on the seats, it's clean as a whistle, even has the rear cargo net still in the bag. I do not bother negotiating, the price is fair, I have driven deep into enemy territory for this thing. Give me the car. He tosses the keys at me and I head home. Real talk: Nothing will tell you if you like a car like spending 5 and a half hours in it right off the bat but I think it's damn near perfect for my family. Loads of space, very comfortable and for the sheer size of the car, almost absurdly rowdy. Excellent road manners driving "normally" but if you need to GO, you just press the skinny pedal and the car says "Oh, you want speed? OK YOU SON OF A BITCH LET'S PARTY" and she scoots.
OG window sticker:
![[Image: 1d3ab2f3-c873-4723-901d-aa6dbadfb6dc_zpsk25uc14y.jpg]](http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g271/MMRex/Flex/1d3ab2f3-c873-4723-901d-aa6dbadfb6dc_zpsk25uc14y.jpg)
This isn't "everything" you could get in a Flex. It has pushbutton start and the panoramic roof, which were requirements, but you could also get adaptive cruise, cooled seats, parking assist and a power folding rear seat. Hell, you could get a refrigerated center console if you wanted but I'm kind of glad I didn't. I feel like this is a good balance between "stuff that is cool AF" and "stuff that is going to be impossible to fix when it breaks in 5 years." Besides, they didnt' sell that many Ecoboost Flexes (Aka: SHOFlex) in the first place. This one has everything I want and a nice bonus in the tow package.
Anyway, hate away.
1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442


