It's Friday and I'm bored

[Goodspeed]

Heres a great office ownage story I'll share here from another forum I read, copied and pasted
__________________________

First off, I never thought I would be the one telling one of these stories so if you dont think this could happen to you, think again.

I work as an IT Tech for a local city government. A couple weeks ago, we got a new intern for our department. At first glance, I just assumed he was the typical fat, nerdy type who lacked all social skills but could tear it up on the keyboard. Very shy, won't look you in the eye when you talk to him... that type. So, we stuck him in a back cubicle with our GIS guys (they do the maps for the city).

We noticed that he likes to eat stuff like frozen meatloaf dinners for breakfast (followed by honey buns and mt dew) so he got the inside nickname of "meatloaf". This dude would be sweating at 9am just from sitting there. Well, after a week or so, one of the guys in GIS commented to us that he was always coughing, hacking, grunting and all types of shit from his cubicle. We happened to have a network security camera lying around, so we decided to put it to good use and keep him from knowing it was there.






So we started monitoring him on the camera and using DameWare so we can view his desktop and see just what the hell he does all day since he has no actual work to do at the moment. Aside from the grunts and noises which came as expected, we noticed some interesting sites/chats going on. I will let the screenshots speak for themselves--



Note, his name is Melkorios in case you didn't figure it out from the screenshot.






So at this point, we're like, "WTF is up with this dude?" Not to mention he was always looking up "Expanding breasts" and "Man turning into woman".


Oh and here's a couple pics of our monitoring setup--



We got surveillance video on the left, dameware in the middle and video games on the right (busy at work, I know).



(note the meatloaf dinner box)

So after last Thursday and Friday things started to get a little boring. By this time we knew he was a strange dude and nothing good was happening on camera.

Fast forward to today-- I am at lunch with my family and I get a call on my nextel from my buddy at work. He says to me "Dude, my eyes are burning out of my head right now!" So I say "Ok..." He responds back with, "Meatloaf is fucking jacking off right now and I got that shit on camera and recording!" Keep in mind now, he was doing this with other people in the room with him at the time. I rush back to work, watch the vid and sure as shit, he's going to town on himself. Now at this point, we're laughing our asses off and at the same time grossed out knowing he is touching his dick and then touching the keyboards, mice, microwave, minifridge, etc. So we bring our boss in on it and let him know what's going on. Since Meatloaf had already left for the day and our boss is going on vacation tomorrow, he printed out an email (which he BCC'd our whole dept on). In it he basically stated that his internship was over immediately and that he hopes he can use his "hands on" experience in the future. And yes, the 'hands on' was in quotes in the email. So later today, we got to thinking-- This gross fucker just subjected us to his semen, well now we're going to subject him to the internet. Yep, we posted that shit on break.com, 4chan, and now its going on supraforums.

Before anyone says anything-- He signed an agreement to all types of monitoring because he is in a secure location and not subjected to the webfilter.

Spycam Video **Just shows him bobbing his head like a pigeon while he does his thing in an office full of people


_______________________

Another member managed to find all his personal information, and tracked him to a hentai fantasy forum where he posts as a girl.



Anthony Pachin Born 1990
1152 ASHLAND CT
Port Orange, Florida 32129

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[Kaan]

haha that is great

[Evan]

hilarious.

in high school I had a computer class with a kid who was slightly 'off', and would jerk off in class.
He wore sweatpants every day for easy access and to wipe his hand on after he was done...

[Kaan]

ok thats the most disgusting thing i've read ... ever.

[mrbaggio]

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[BLINGMW]

pics are dead?

[Goodspeed]

pics are dead?

Yep, the pics are down for some reason. If the guy rehosts I'll put them back up :?

[HAULN-SS]

Kind of a funny story:

I answer my land-line phone last night, which is rare, because usually it's someone trying to sell me something, or someone asking for Jamie Dunham. So I say hello, and the girl on the other end, sure as shit, is looking for Jamie Dunham, I reply "he's not here" to which she replies "well where is he? I need to talk to him." - "No, he doesnt live here, and I don't even know who that is"

"oh, ok...well so-and-so gave me this number and said to call him about the barbecue tonight, are you sure you don't know him?"

"yes, I don't know him. I guess you're having a problem." "Yeah, I really want to go, but I don't want to just show up without asking" "sorry, can't help you. Well who is this anyway" to which I say "My name's derek, but you don't know me, I'm pretty new to the area" "oh, really? You want to go to the barbecue with me and meet some new people?" "oh, the one you're not sure you're invited to? no thanks, i have some work to do"


blah blah blah..this goes on for like 20 minutes, at which point she finally asks if I want to go have a beer sometime. So I guess I'm going to today. I'm taking a wide variety of knives and guns with me, because as I count it, there are three scenarios:

1) she's actually a scam artist or black widow or somethig who is going to mug me
2) she's 300 lbs
3)She's actually the 5'8" 135lb italian dark haired girl that she volunteered up she was on the phone.

I'm guessing it'll be a combination of 1 and 2, but it's already a hilarious story, and I have to know, so I'm going.

[Apoc]

Or maybe it's...

Most definitely NSFW and really pretty fucked up.

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[HAULN-SS]

haha..maybe, i didnt think about that one. Hopefully I find out before it's too late...

[JackoliciousLegs]

You are going on a blind date with a wrong number call... you know what, good luck. Maybe she'll bring some friends and you can make it a party.

[.RJ]

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[HAULN-SS]

I am in no way calling this a date..you just never know who might be on the other end. could be jesus. You gotta find out, right?

[JackoliciousLegs]

No. Any situation which you voluntarily subject yourself to, which you feel necessitates the carrying of a firearm would seem like a bad idea to me. But hey, whatever you want to do.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

[CaptainHenreh]

You should have gone to the barbeque, found this Jamie, and beat his ass for giving out your number.

[mrbaggio]

You didn't even myspace or facebook her? Busch league.

[Evan]

its a good story either way, so why not go. Not like Derek had to cancel other plans....

[Kaan]

1) she's actually a scam artist or black widow or somethig who is going to mug me
2) she's 300 lbs

I'm going to go with option #1 and #2

[mrbaggio]

moto segway??

[Dave]

its a good story either way, so why not go. Not like Derek had to cancel other plans....

I'm kinda with Evan here. If you've got nothing to lose , why the hell not. The most important part is that he comes back with the story of his date and recounts it to us about the beached whale he found waiting to rape and pillage him.
And if its "the one", well, he'll have one hell of a story to tell the kiddies...