So I'm having a bit of a cold war with a family member. This person thought I was disrespectful in an off-the-cuff comment I made in jest (me, say something inappropriate? no chance!). It wasn't crude or anything, it was just "You suck" in response to a complaint of "This sucks" about something a bunch of us was watching on TV.
After the fact I explained that I said it in jest and that it shouldn't be taken seriously. Thinking it was over I'd forgotten the incident until today, when the person in question told me they are still owed an apology... as I found out today. I don't really feel sorry for saying it, but I do feel bad that I hurt the persons feelings.
Maybe it's just a shell game but I have a problem with apologizing for something I don't feel sorry for doing. I could say I'm sorry they took it the wrong way but that's kinda like saying "I'm sorry you're so sensitive, grow some balls." The thing is, I think they are in fact being too sensitive.
The question is, do I stop being stubborn and just say I'm sorry for the sake of moving on or do I tell them what I really think? The obvious easy answer is just to apologize but I'm curious what others' opinions are.
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
Losing touch with family is a bad thing... Swallowing your pride and reason for a minute is sometimes worth it.
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
Mike Wrote:Losing touch with family is a bad thing... Swallowing your pride and reason for a minute is sometimes worth it.
On the other hand, Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442
Some guys Wrote:You should be like Robert E. Lee in admitting defeat. Dignified.
No vinegary words or multiple meanings to your wording. Just straightforward surrender. You cannot assail that kind of surrender and keep a respectable standing.
For them to win, it is no longer a pride. For you to lose, it is no longer a shame.
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CaptainHenreh Wrote:Mike Wrote:Losing touch with family is a bad thing... Swallowing your pride and reason for a minute is sometimes worth it.
On the other hand, Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
obviously, but it's best to keep that to yourself and display that you don't care.
I Am Mike
4 wheels: '01 RAV4 (Formerly '93 Civic CX, '01 S2000, '10 GTI, '09 A4 Avant)
2 wheels: '12 Surly Cross-Check Custom | '14 Trek Madone 2.1 105 | '17 Norco Threshold SL Force 1 | '17 Norco Revolver 9.2 FS | '18 BMC Roadmachine 02 Two | '19 Norco Search XR Steel (Formerly '97 Honda VFR750F, '05 Giant TCR 2, '15 WeThePeople Atlas 24, '10 Scott Scale 29er XT, '11 Cervelo R3 Rival, '12 Ridley X-Fire Red)
No longer onyachin.
i wouldn't let it go. if it was just a friend things would be different.
2010 Civic Si
2019 4Runner TRD Off-Road
--------------------------
Past: 03 Xterra SE 4x4 | 05 Impreza 2.5RS | 99.5 A4 Quattro 1.8T | 01 Accord EX | 90 Maxima GXE | 96 Explorer XLT
You should tell that person that you're mad at them for asking for an apology, and that they owe you an apology for making you seem like a dick.
In all seriousness, does this person happen to be female? I know females don't typically ever let something like that go when it bothers them, so you may as well just suck it up and apologize or you'll never hear the end of it.
Posting in the banalist of threads since 2004
2017 Mazda CX-5 GT AWD Premium
Past: 2016 GMC Canyon All Terrain Crew Cab / 2010 Jaguar XFR / 2012 Acura RDX AWD Tech / 2008 Cadillac CTS / 2007 Acura TL-S / 1966 5.0 HO Mustang Coupe
2001 Lexus IS300 / 2004 2.8L big turbo WRX STI / 2004 Subaru WRX / A couple of old trucks
Female, yes. To be quite honest, I want to tell them their behavior that prompted my comment was rude but that will probably just send us farther down the rabbit hole.
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
You and I think alike my friend. Some people, guy or girl, are just drama queens and can't think or see outside of the center of their own little world. Like Scott said, if it was a friend or acquaintance, I'd probably just blow it off, but since it's a relative I'd apologize. Give her a warning though that it's very possible you'll say something similar again in the future and that she should try to be a big girl and not take it so personally.
Posting in the banalist of threads since 2004
2017 Mazda CX-5 GT AWD Premium
Past: 2016 GMC Canyon All Terrain Crew Cab / 2010 Jaguar XFR / 2012 Acura RDX AWD Tech / 2008 Cadillac CTS / 2007 Acura TL-S / 1966 5.0 HO Mustang Coupe
2001 Lexus IS300 / 2004 2.8L big turbo WRX STI / 2004 Subaru WRX / A couple of old trucks
Be the bigger person, Chris. I would think she would know your personality at this point, but never the less, apologize and move on.
2017 Mineral White BMW M240i Cabriolet
2014 White Platinum Pearl Explorer Sport
Living in the Alamo City.
210
That's the thing... everyone that knows me, and most that know me from the internet, know I'm prone to give people a hard time or joke around. I'm not saying that's license for me to be an asshole, but this was definitely not out of pattern and she knows that. Eh well... I'll probably just apologize to move on.
'76 911S | '14 328xi | '17 GTI | In memoriam: '08 848, '85 944
"Here, at last, is the cure for texting while driving. The millions of deaths which occur every year due to the iPhone’s ability to stream the Kim K/Ray-J video in 4G could all be avoided, every last one of them, if the government issued everyone a Seventies 911 and made sure they always left the house five minutes later than they’d wanted to. It would help if it could be made to rain as well. Full attention on the road. Guaranteed." -Jack Baruth
i'd blame PMS
2010 Civic Si
2019 4Runner TRD Off-Road
--------------------------
Past: 03 Xterra SE 4x4 | 05 Impreza 2.5RS | 99.5 A4 Quattro 1.8T | 01 Accord EX | 90 Maxima GXE | 96 Explorer XLT
just apologize for making her feel bad, but don't apologize for the comment
she's too sensitive...
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