You know what really grinds my gears?!

[Jake]

When places seem unable to handle "no cheese". I think it's been like 3 places in the last month that have messed up and left cheese on my dishes. I don't want to be an ass and send it back, or I don't pay attention and eat it before realizing.

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You have a health need that requires the restaurant listen to your simple request, assuming it's "hey no cheese on this burger" and not something asinine like "queso dip, no cheese." Absolutely send it back, you're not being an ass by doing so. Not your problem that the employee can't listen.

If your "I can't eat this" was a "I will need an Epipen thirty seconds after eating this" the restaurant would be in all sorts of trouble for not paying attention after you asked. They will benefit for future customers beyond just you if you say something and send it back.