The Alien Attack Preparedness Thread

[Mike]

Ok, so, an alien attack in the future is pretty much a given. Read this to find out a few ways an alien attack could be a very real possibility.

How would you survive? To help, read this link. Also, Jesus pointed me towards this informative quiz on your survival skills.

Alright, so, lets discuss possible means to survive this eventual attack; this way, we can all learn something that'll inevitably aid in our survival.

First off, lets distinguish our target. This, is an alien:

[Goodspeed]

When the Aliens and/or Predators come, I'm going to feed you to them. Count on a crack duo of Schwarzy and Sigourney Weaver to save you, but I doubt that'll happen.

[mrbaggio]

12 out of 20.

[Apoc]

Can I just link to the Zombie thread?

[WRXtranceformed]

If real aliens attack, we're pretty much f'ed way worse than if there was a zombie attack. Our only hope is that their bodies dont adapt to our airborne diseases like in War of the Worlds or that we can plant a computer virus in their mothership like in Independence Day :lol:

Any species with the capability of interstellar travel is pretty much gonna pwn us in a tech battle. It would be like Mike Tyson fighting an infant.

[Goodspeed]

or that we can plant a computer virus in their mothership like in Independence Day :lol:

http://www.cracked.com/article_15229_p5.html

I mean seriously, lets get real. Pretty much everything we have to learn about aliens (zombies too) comes from our own pop culture. And what has that taught us? That you better be one badass shit-eating commando (Predator) or a badass femme-alien hybrid (Aliens series) to even stand a chance of survival on your own. And hell, Weaver needed a damn robot suit to survive at one point, and we sure as god-damned hell don't have those!!! (why not?)





Besides any chance of lone-survival, as Lee pointed out, we'd need some retardedly inane way of defeating them (such as using your '95 Apple to hack and destroy an advanced alien mainframe) or hoping that, by some equally retarded mishap, the aliens that burrowed under us centuries ago forgot that they were deathly allergic to even our most simple form of bacteria.

So basically, we're screwed. We don't have Men in Black to save the day, and Captain Picard is too nonexistent to formulate any sort of Alien/Human peace treaty. So, if the aliens do land, head to VIR anyway. Maybe we can get a few deathmatch laps in before the anal-probing commences.

[jongp3]

We do have robot suits, I saw it on Future Weapons, I'll look for it tonight when i get home if someone doesn't post it before then.

[Goodspeed]

We do have robot suits, I saw it on Future Weapons, I'll look for it tonight when i get home if someone doesn't post it before then.

Oh yeah I mean, I know they exist. I actually think I posted a thread about some futuristic robotic exoskeleton under military research. What I meant was...we don't have enough robot suits in our daily lives right now to help us defend against acid-spitting, baby-bursting-through-chest aliens.

Regardless, I'd just move into my future zombie/alien proof underground bunker until Master Chief came to my rescue.

[ScottyB]

we need herds of these bitches, with high explosives strapped to them. tell them the target, send em out in mass while we hide in caves :lol:

edit: also make a real master chief, breed other master chiefs to kick alien ass

[Sijray21]

15/20

+1 on getting F'ed if aliens exist and do want to harm us

they can get to our world...we can get to our moon...yay

[Mike]

what is this xx/20 shit?

[DavidM]

The scores from the "informative quiz" you put in the OP.
13/20

[JustinG]

OMG, Alien was on TV tonight Im just gonna go ahead and say we are fucked, zombies is one thing, aliens, not a chance.

[CaptainHenreh]

OMG, Alien was on TV tonight Im just gonna go ahead and say we are fucked, zombies is one thing, aliens, not a chance.

+1

An alien invasion isn't really something you can prepare for. Any alien attack on earth is going to be totally unpredictable in every way. I mean, we don't have any space marines. We don't have any starships to fight or escape with. And for that matter, aliens could come in any form. We know what zombies look like, they're just like us only deader. If there's a corpse that's not exhibiting typical corpselike behavior (such as staying still) then we're pretty confident it's a zombie.

An alien invasion could take the form of a virus, LGM, body-snatcher type aliens, HP Lovecraft-style eldritch interstellar gods, bezerker artificial intelligences (created to win a war the universe has forgotten) out to destroy all life in the universe, hell they could be pan-dimensional energy beings that get their jollies off by fucking our nostrils and hell! they could be here right now and we wouldn't even know it.

Here we are, getting nostril fucked day in and day out by pan-dimensional aliens and we aren't even aware.

Tell me, how do you propose we plan for something like that.

My plan for an alien invasion:

Grab Julie, a bar of chocolate, and a warm blanket; make a run for a hiding place to spend the last few minutes of my pathetic human life gettin' it on.

[HAULN-SS]

I just hope that in the event of an advanced race attacking that this:
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is in carry-around size. We've all seen what a railgun can do to aliens in Quake, so I'd like to have one on me.

[CaptainHenreh]

I just hope that in the event of an advanced race attacking that this:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/Web/2007/012007/0130railgun">http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/Web/ ... 130railgun</a><!-- m -->

is in carry-around size. We've all seen what a railgun can do to aliens in Quake, so I'd like to have one on me.

You can build your own railgun. The principle is pretty sound.

Just don't expect to, you know, kill anything with it.

[HAULN-SS]

I just hope that in the event of an advanced race attacking that this:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/Web/2007/012007/0130railgun">http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/Web/ ... 130railgun</a><!-- m -->

is in carry-around size. We've all seen what a railgun can do to aliens in Quake, so I'd like to have one on me.

You can build your own railgun. The principle is pretty sound.

Just don't expect to, you know, kill anything with it.

Yeah, I looked into building the small ones that shoot pennies, but lost my motivation. I don't know if it'd kill anything, but I'd say it'd sting like a bitch.

[Maengelito]

Here we are, getting nostril fucked day in and day out by pan-dimensional aliens and we aren't even aware.

I was quite aware of my cube neighbor nostril fucking me everyday until he retired. I dont know if it was an alien invasion, but it sure wasn't pleasant.

[Mike]

The scores from the "informative quiz" you put in the OP.
13/20

oh

14/20

[CaptainHenreh]

I got 16/20 but that quiz has nothing to do with surviving an alien invasion.