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+--- Thread: Marital Finances (/showthread.php?tid=10240)
Re: Marital Finances - Apoc - 04-05-2013
CaptainHenreh Wrote:Ryan T Wrote:I also keep a savings account of my own that is not joint and she does as well.
For what purpose, if you don't mind me asking?
We do the same thing.
If I get $500/month to spend as I wish and I don't spend it all, I get to accumulate that wealth to do with as I choose at a later date. It's not that much different than a checking account that makes money; savings here is used more as a generic term than the actual vehicle.
We also have our own investment and retirement accounts.
Re: Marital Finances - Ryan T - 04-05-2013
CaptainHenreh Wrote:Ryan T Wrote:I also keep a savings account of my own that is not joint and she does as well.
For what purpose, if you don't mind me asking?
I always had a private savings account prior to getting married and I just didn't move that money into the joint account when we got married. At the risk of sounding like a pessimist, the world is a crazy place and you never know what might happen. I prefer to have an account that only I have access too. It's not that I don't trust my wife, I do, and our joint savings account has significantly more money in it than my own private savings, but I still keep some money just to me.
Re: Marital Finances - JustinG - 04-05-2013
Casey and I handle our finances exactly like Rex and Julie.
Bills, Mortgage, car payments, general car maintenance, take out, groceries.... Normal day to day expenses come out of joint, or purchases we discuss.
We both have personal money accounts, our personal accounts are mostly funded by NASA checks, and anything I sell/she sells. This goes to Guns/ammo/Car parts not required for making the car driveable.
We were giving ourselves allowances, but they have now been placed into a savings account we created for Averie. We setup this account pre Averie to prep for the baby and we use it now to buy fun stuff for her, Toys, Clothes, etc.
Re: Marital Finances - premiershine9 - 04-05-2013
O dear......the day I have to consider this thread to ponder on is the day I will have a small panic attack inside.
Good thing I broke it off with my uber-NJ materialistic gf at the time and am at least aiming at the "Idontbuy800dollahandbag" type from now on.
Re: Marital Finances - Dave - 04-05-2013
Linds and I have always maintained separate bank accounts. We keep incredibly detailed records of our spending across all accounts in a single application, which we also use for budgeting & forecasting. As Julie mentioned, if you want to know where I ate for lunch on Oct 10, 2007 and how much it cost, I can tell you (if I ate out - I usually take leftovers...). I think this record keeping (and the analysis ability to provides) is one of the core reasons for our continue financial success.
Back when Linds was working, we split the monthly bills/mortgage roughly down the middle. We used to have a mortgage with Suntrust and would deposit the bill money in an account there each month (generally via direct deposit so we never even missed it) and pay out of it with the goal of carrying a very low balance. Anything left was in our personal accounts and used to live and have fun. Each of us was responsible for coming up with the money for payments of any car/student loans that we had as an individual, and I generally ran the finances for the household.
When Linds stopped working, obviously all of that became my responsibility. However, the car loans were paid off, so that just left the mortgage, bills, and student loans. The mortgage has been refinanced and I just pay that each month with the same account I pay any other bills, Linds pays her student loans out of an "allowance" I direct deposit into her account, and we "live" off of our credit cards. We just pay them off every month, so no biggie there.
That said, our financial plan revolves around clear communication and planning for all large purchases. Any purchase over $100 (including groceries) generally requires some form of discussion, and there are literally zero whimsical purchases. If I want a car part, it impacts our family budget/goals and we talk about it to set a timeframe and the same goes for everybody else's wants; needs are always taken care of as the highest priority. We sit down frequently to talk about what we want and write them down in priority and timeline. Every time we have that discussion, we also do an assessment of things remaining from the last time we talked about the big purchases - more often than not, we don't even care any more about some of the things we wanted before and they get cut. Making sacrifices and delaying "wants" to facilitate long term benefit is the name of the game for us right now.
Marital Finances - JPolen01 - 04-06-2013
Are my parents the only ones with joint accounts for everything?
hrugs: It works well for them. Neither of them ever makes a purchase without consulting the other. Same as Dave and Lindsey. They seem to be doing well with this method. They have never financed anything but our house. All cars were bough straight cash homie and they have blessed my brother and I with college savings funds that will leave us debt free. For that I am eternally grateful. For those of you with separate accounts that you fund with money from a joint account, what's the point of that? Seems to me that is just another layer of unnecessary.
Re: Marital Finances - BLINGMW - 04-06-2013
Ryan T Wrote:At the risk of sounding like a pessimist, the world is a crazy place and you never know what might happen. I prefer to have an account that only I have access too. It's not that I don't trust my wife...I don't see how that could be interpreted any other way :dunno:
Dave Wrote:L... if you want to know where I ate for lunch on Oct 10, 2007 and how much it cost, I can tell you.I couldnt even show you my 2007 tax return. :lol: But hey, the rest of what you said, I'm there.
JPolen01 Wrote:Are my parents the only ones with joint accounts for everything?Well, that is what WE do...
I too wouldn't want to bother with all these seperate accounts and do not really understand, but I'm used to being in the minority.
Re: Marital Finances - davej - 04-06-2013
premiershine9 Wrote:Good thing I broke it off with my uber-NJ materialistic gf at the time and am at least aiming at the "Idontbuy800dollahandbag" type from now on.
But it's on sale and looks so good with these $400 shoes! I'd be crazy not to buy it!
I might be the odd man out here but we've only had one shared account since we were married. (@23) Budget style and attention to detail has varied over the years, but I usually monitor/ensure bills are paid, she'll handle purchasing for food/house/kid stuff, and i try not to get nazi on all the overpriced organic stuff. Go through spurts of detailed tracking, but since it wasn't a habit early on it usually falls behind. I admire Dave's ability to keep on it, and if its something you think will be valuable to you guys down the road, start now.
I like the idea of discretionary funds for each, and it's cool to see that working for you guys, but since kids my reality has become there is very little extra left over to worry about.
Re: Marital Finances - WRXtranceformed - 04-06-2013
Big thanks to Julie for your PM. I didn't mention it but we are Christ followers and are committing to a Christian marriage so it does give us a unique husband / wife role situation that can tie into finances and is not really a popular viewpoint anymore in secularized America. Your advice was awesome.
As far as what Ryan said...If things really go downhill and divorce is made as an option for your family... she's taking half of everything you have anyway no matter how you try to hide it...unless you bury a cash box in your backyard
Re: Marital Finances - Ryan T - 04-06-2013
WRXtranceformed Wrote:As far as what Ryan said...If things really go downhill and divorce is made as an option for your family... she's taking half of everything you have anyway no matter how you try to hide it...unless you bury a cash box in your backyard
I'm not hiding anything from her. She knows its there and she knows how much is in it. It's not strictly a worst case scenario fund. It lets me save for things I might want to buy without her knowing. For instance last valentines day she got diamond earrings, and pearls on her birthday. Having money in an account that she doesn't have access too makes buying these sort of items and keeping them a surprise much easier.
Re: Marital Finances - JustinG - 04-06-2013
Ya know that's one thing I never thought about til we got married. How am I supposed to surprise you for your birthday/Christmas if your looking at where purchases were made. Thanks online banking! Casey is a Nazi with online banking, she checks it like 5 times a day.
Re: Marital Finances - WRXtranceformed - 04-06-2013
Ryan T Wrote:That kind of makes sense, or you could always just have your own credit card and buy surprises on that & pay it off afterwards so that she can't track the purchases. The way you originally phrased it didn't really come off the way I think you wanted it toWRXtranceformed Wrote:As far as what Ryan said...If things really go downhill and divorce is made as an option for your family... she's taking half of everything you have anyway no matter how you try to hide it...unless you bury a cash box in your backyard
I'm not hiding anything from her. She knows its there and she knows how much is in it. It's not strictly a worst case scenario fund. It lets me save for things I might want to buy without her knowing. For instance last valentines day she got diamond earrings, and pearls on her birthday. Having money in an account that she doesn't have access too makes buying these sort of items and keeping them a surprise much easier.
Marital Finances - D_Eclipse9916 - 04-06-2013
premiershine9 Wrote:O dear......the day I have to consider this thread to ponder on is the day I will have a small panic attack inside.
Good thing I broke it off with my uber-NJ materialistic gf at the time and am at least aiming at the "Idontbuy800dollahandbag" type from now on.
Hahah good luck with that if you are in NJ or NOVA :p. I was there once. I am a lifetime "premie" member of Coach,
Re: Marital Finances - Apoc - 04-06-2013
WRXtranceformed Wrote:Big thanks to Julie for your PM. I didn't mention it but we are Christ followers and are committing to a Christian marriage so it does give us a unique husband / wife role situation
Oh, well you don't have a problem them because you give it all to the church.
Marital Finances - JPolen01 - 04-06-2013
Apoc Wrote:LulzWRXtranceformed Wrote:Big thanks to Julie for your PM. I didn't mention it but we are Christ followers and are committing to a Christian marriage so it does give us a unique husband / wife role situation
Oh, well you don't have a problem them because you give it all to the church.
Re: Marital Finances - WRXtranceformed - 04-06-2013
We give it all?
Re: Marital Finances - Apoc - 04-07-2013
That's what the TV told me.
Re: Marital Finances - BLINGMW - 04-07-2013
Apoc Wrote:That's what the TV told me.:lol: :dunno:
WRXtranceformed Wrote:I didn't mention it but we are Christ followers and are committing to a Christian marriage so it does give us a unique husband / wife role situation that can tie into finances and is not really a popular viewpoint anymore in secularized America.:?: The US is like, 70% Christian. I'm not sure your situation is THAT unique.
Re: Marital Finances - Apoc - 04-07-2013
It has to do with more formalized gender roles, which have fallen out of favor as the country becomes more secular. The specifics really depend on one's beliefs, but it has an impact on how you manage a household/finances.
In some ways, it's a lot easier. :-)
Re: Marital Finances - ScottyB - 04-07-2013
JPolen01 Wrote:Are my parents the only ones with joint accounts for everything?
that's what we've done for the past 8 years and it works great for us. and apparently Chan/Jess too.
our lives are complicated enough and we already have separate accounts for savings/vacations/kid....i don't need more than that. we both have incomes fwiw, and likely always will.
part of the other reason it works well is that we see eye to eye on pretty much everything, so there's no point in putting money aside for our own devices. however, we pretty much always talk about anything we buy over $100 though, just for the sake of knowing where money is going and what to expect when the credit card bills come in.
for example, Jen jumped on some Kenny Chesney tickets because they sell fast, and told me about it after the fact. No big deal. I bought a new $100+ light for my reef tank because the old one kicked the bucket and just brought it to her attention in random conversation. when i rebuilt the suspension on the RS, i just brought it up well in advance because of the expense, and we prepared accordingly. as long as we're transparent about stuff and mindful of how much we have in our bank account to cover our wants vs. our needs, its never been an issue.