Marital Finances

[WRXtranceformed]

So I am looking for marital finance advice from those MMers who have taken the plunge. I have a pretty good feel for how we are going to figure things out but I value any feedback I can get at this point. I know every family is in a different financial situation and what works for one couple wouldn't work for another. I am just curious to hear how you guys handle your finances, especially the couples in which one of the spouses is the primary / only breadwinner. IE is there accountability for what is spent, joint vs. separate accounts, etc.

[CaptainHenreh]

So I am looking for marital finance advice from those MMers who have taken the plunge. I have a pretty good feel for how we are going to figure things out but I value any feedback I can get at this point. I know every family is in a different financial situation and what works for one couple wouldn't work for another. I am just curious to hear how you guys handle your finances, especially the couples in which one of the spouses is the primary / only breadwinner. IE is there accountability for what is spent, joint vs. separate accounts, etc.

Here's how The Elseas have been doing it for years now:

My money + Her Money = Joint account. This pays the bills, manages savings, etc etc.

Then, I have an account, and she has an account. We each get a pre-agreed upon allowance from the joint account to those accounts. (these actually come out of the paychecks, but whatevs.) I may spend this money on whatever I wish without spousal consequence. Her, likewise.

If I make money from a non-employment source (NASA, Lottery, Flippin' shit) that money goes into my account.

Joint account purchases must be agreed on by both partners. If i want a new TV that my account can't afford, I need to make a persuasive case that the joint account should pay for it. If I can, great success! If I can't, well, then I better save my allowance for a new gd tv. Which she won't be allowed to watch because she's a meanieface who vetoed the joint account buying it.

[Jake]

Rex, how do you handle things like car payments/cash-for-cars? Is that pulled from the joint account?

[SlimKlim]

We're not married yet, and we have a roomie, but she, Jake and I have a hodgepodge system for household finances that works well.

She and I have completely separate accounts and pretty much spend our money however we damn well please, but anything over $100 is usually brought before the other for evaluation. Sometimes we listen to each other, sometimes we don't. We split big purchases down the middle if we both want it, but for our own hobbies we're on our own. (Her clothes and my cars)

We make roughly the same, so we share almost all of our non-optional expenses except gas & car insurance. We alternate buying meals and share grocery store duty. All three of us write a rent check and put them in the same envelope, and Jake is the (sort of) self-elected Grand Keeper of Utilities so she and I just write him a check.

If/when we tie the knot we'll probably move over to a system like the Elsea's so its easier to manage all the household expenses, shared purchases and long term savings.

[Apoc]

Rex's method is pretty much identical to mine and one I would strongly recommend.

The only difference is we agreed how much of the individual accounts would go into joint, instead of the other way around. Everything left over is ours to do with as we wish.

My wife hasn't had an income in 1.5 years, so all the "joint" money is coming from me these days. I actually switched it so my paycheck went into the joint account versus personal first, but that's really just more for practicality. That is still used for bills and she doesn't spend against it, so it's not a big deal. This means I'm footing all the bills, but also that any of her superfuntime money comes from her savings. I don't know this would work if she wasn't going to have income in the foreseeable future, since she'd eventually run out of savings and would never be able to have fun unless we were doing it together. In that case, we would probably set a modest budget for her to do whatever she wanted with.

[BLINGMW]

We both make about the same (usually) so maybe it doesn't help you as much, but we just have one account. I manage it and pay the bills, track the monthly balance and make sure it's headed in the right direction (or is explainable). To keep ourselves more mindful of going out for drinks, eating lunch out and such, we get some pocket "allowance" money each month for that sort of thing and try to keep it off the joint CC (which we use for everything and pay off each month).
We also keep a loose budget that we might look at every 6 mo or so, I'll update and compare to CC statements and we'll just make sure the buckets aren't getting overspent by either party, or see if they need adjustment.
This probably only works if both are like-minded in spending decisions. We're on 10 years this year so I guess so far so good. :thumbup:

[Mike]

We have split accounts because we haven't gotten around to joining.

I pay all the bills and she pays me an agreed upon amount each month.

Works perfectly fine.

[Evan]

We have split accounts because we haven't gotten around to joining.

I pay all the bills and she pays me an agreed upon amount each month.

Works perfectly fine.

this is a simplified version of what we did before having a kid.
the agreed upon would ideally be half, but if you make more $$ her share is probably less than half. Dont forget to include electricity/gas,water,cable,internet,health insurance,HOA,cellphone if shared etc etc. use a spreadsheet.
that covers monthly costs. vacations, joint activities and major house projects are more or less split equally depending on who wants it and who quarterbacks it.
stuff for yourselfs is paid by yourselfs.
no need for a joint account in this system. no potential source of conflicts with getting 'approval' to buy stuff I or she wants.
requires trust and fiscal responsibility. If I had the money in my budget I could buy a FR-S on my way home today and she would :roll: and that would be about it.

everything depends on the people. in our system im good with money and there is enough flex in the budget where if she cant give me as much as usual no big deal.
if either your budget is tighter or youre the one who cant put the credit card away or pay bills on time then joint account and rationed spending is the way to go.

[WRXtranceformed]

Nice, great responses. Fortunately she is really awesome with budgeting and very frugal so I won't have to worry about my wife being a cash pit like a lot of people I know. I wasn't pointing out the breadwinner scenario to be all "my wife won't have to work" at all....But our situation will put me in charge of the vast majority of the financial responsibility and that puts us in a different climate to merge the finances. Curious to hear if anyone out there has a wife who is staying home with child, etc. and is not bearing much if any of the load.

[Jewels]

Rex, how do you handle things like car payments/cash-for-cars? Is that pulled from the joint account?

Literally, all of our bills come out of the joint account. Our joint CC- is used for joint purchases, and also when 1 of us has the money but are doing an online transaction and doesn't want to put our debit cards out there. We purchase a lot of our joint account because it has more money in it. So WHEN Rex gets his new TV we will probably put it on our Best Buy CC because it'll have 0% financing and we'll pay it off with the joint account. Our individual accounts pay for things like new guns, books, cd's, general shit we want but don't want questions asked about. But the long and short of it, is in our marriage we've found that talking about the things we want and making the decision together, not only means we'll get it sooner because we usually pay for it out of the joint account, it also means no one is in charge of the money and commands how its going to be handled. While I pay the bills and handle that checking account, I also, respect that Rex is the leader of our family and his opinion does matter on the subject of money. That being said, if its not a sound financial decision I get complete veto power. This is why we don't live in a Corvette.

[Jason08]

Make her work at least 2 jobs, and all of the money goes into your bank account. If she wants something, make her submit an expense report at least a week in advance.

[Apoc]

I forgot to mention that I am responsible for actually paying the bills and "watching the finances." It's kinda like Mike's, it's just that we have a common account that allows us to easily divide transactions and budgets.

We've always said that if we had kids, my wife would not have a full time job. She would stay at home and her primary role would be child care. In this instance we'd still have joint and separate, but I think we'd budget money for her to do with as she pleases. She has said she would want to work part time so she didn't go crazy and was exposed to other adults. In that case, money earned from that would likely become her spending money and, if possible, a smaller contribution to the joint account.

[Jewels]

Nice, great responses. Fortunately she is really awesome with budgeting and very frugal so I won't have to worry about my wife being a cash pit like a lot of people I know. I wasn't pointing out the breadwinner scenario to be all "my wife won't have to work" at all....But our situation will put me in charge of the vast majority of the financial responsibility and that puts us in a different climate to merge the finances. Curious to hear if anyone out there has a wife who is staying home with child, etc. and is not bearing much if any of the load.

Dave Allen is your man for this. Lindsey stays at home with Aubrey, so he'd be able to better describe what works for them. Keep in mind that Dave and Lindsey are spreadsheet people and can tell you down to the cent how much they've spent on pretty much anything they've ever bought. I sometimes, wish I was that thorough, but then again, I don't want to see how much I spend on stupid little shit.

[SlimKlim]

So WHEN Rex gets his new TV we will probably put it on our Best Buy CC because it'll have 0% financing and we'll pay it off with the joint account.

We literally just did this, except the CC is in her name cause we're not married so I just write her a check for it. We bought an open box Sharp Aquos 60" LED and they brought out an unopened box one when we went to pick it up. Gotta love free financing and Best Buy employees who don't pay attention to detail. :thumbup:

[CaptainHenreh]

Rex, how do you handle things like car payments/cash-for-cars? Is that pulled from the joint account?

Julie already mentioned this, but the car payment, insurance, petrol, maintenance (incl tires), etc...that's all a bill, pulled from the joint account. We use a credit card strictly for gas, and treat fillups like a monthly bill. (kind of like you would your electric or more aptly your natural gas bill)

Turbo kits, coilovers, brake upgrades, shit that makes the car go faster and not just go are handled by my allowance account.

It's not a hard, fast, and written in stone categorization, either. This just keeps the joint account from paying for dumb shit like video games or Warhammer 40k figurines or whatever other dumb-shit-I'd-like-to-spend-my-money-on-but-probably-shouldn't.

[Apoc]

FWIW, our car payments, gas, auto insurance, etc. were paid from personal. We bought them separately, so they are our own responsibility. We are going to be buying a "joint" car, so all the finances for it will be from the joint account. The 911 and 848 come from my account cause they're my vehicles.

[ScottyB]

This is why we don't live in a Corvette.

could totally see this if Rex was on his own :lol:

[Ryan T]

We have a joint savings/investment account that we both put money in on a regular basis. Otherwise we both keep seperate accounts. I pay the mortgage and my own credit card, car insurance, etc. She pays all the utilities and her own cell phone, cc, etc. Larger purchases are generally made together out of a combination of both our private accounts. We never take money out of the savings/investment account to purchase items. I also keep a savings account of my own that is not joint and she does as well.

[CaptainHenreh]

I also keep a savings account of my own that is not joint and she does as well.

For what purpose, if you don't mind me asking?

[Jewels]

This is why we don't live in a Corvette.

could totally see this if Rex was on his own :lol:

Yes, this is why I handle the money and why from the time we got married, when we both worked and Sheetz and had 0 money after bills, that Rexy got an allowance. His idea, and probably the best thing for our marriage.