Call me a pansy, I think I'm hanging it up

[Mike]

Yes, I've been riding even with the bike being busted, but when it's back together, it's sold and I'm out for good.

A couple weeks back, a former coworker of my Mom's from AOL was heading back from vacation in the Outer Banks. Her husband, also an AOL employee (Chris, you may know of him, he rides every day, but I forget what... Name is Ivan, worked near me), an avid and very, very experienced rider, geared up, hopped on the bike, and hit the road in front of them family.

Couple the following story with the various deaths I've heard about this year (some of them guys doing nothing wrong or making one tiny mistake, the various accidents others have had, AND my own accidents (the first I still don't know what happened; I just started sliding... the second was very similar to his, but I guess I lucked out), and this just isn't worth it. Saying it is (in my mind) is just selfish. You're free to think what you want.

Here's something she wrote...

This blog entry is for anyone who rides motorcycle, or who is thinking about riding one, even as a passenger. Yes, they are fun. Life is fun, it's a highway. My son who is 21 still chooses to ride his motorcycle even after seeing his father just hours after his near-fatal accident.

This blog entry isn't about motorcycle helmet laws, nor your choice to wear them or not because you like the wind in your hair or you think you won't look cool. It isn't about how experienced you are as a motorcycle rider, or about if you'll have an accident, nor how bad it will be when you do. It's about the people who care about you, whether your wife, mother, father, sister or brother. Your friends, your colleagues. If you're going to ride motorcycle, there are a few things you need to know about, and you need to take care of before you get on your bike for that next ride.

On August 19, 2007 my husband was in a motorcycle accident. We were driving back home from a weekend in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. His body and his motorcycle hit the SUV at full impact at 55MPH. The SUV, a rental car filled to the roof with people and bags, stopped suddenly in front of him at a yellow traffic signal. My daughter and I watched in horror from my car behind him as everything exploded 10 feet into the air and 10 feet backwards, pieces raining down and finally coming to rest on the highway in front of my car. I can still hear our daughter's screams.

I did everything I could for him, once I found his body lying among the hundreds of shattered pieces of his motorcycle. I directed onlookers to help; some to call 911, some to direct traffic, some to get my daughter out of the car and off to the side of the road, some to move what was left of the motorcycle since fuel was leaking everywhere. My husband lay lifeless before me, and there wasn't a thing I could do without risking breaking his neck or back. The one thing he needed to do most - to breathe - I couldn't do for him. Minutes were ticking by, and no one was coming forward to help me help him. I made a choice to roll him over and start rescue breathing for him when out of nowhere a man knelt down before us and asked me his name. I told him my husband's name, and he called it out and commanded him to breathe. With every ounce of strength he had, he took that breath, then another, then one more. The man vanished.

My husband's life was saved by many things happening in perfect progression. Arguably you also could say his life was taken away by many things happening in perfect progression. He was wearing a brand new full-face carbon fiber HJC helmet which he had just purchased the week before. He was wearing top of the line protective gear head-to-toe even though it was summer and 85 degrees outside. His guardian angel showed up at the exact moment he needed him most and commanded him to breathe. EMS showed up within 10 minutes, and my husband was airlifted by Nightingale helicopter to a Trauma 1 level hospital nearby.

My husband required CT scans and X-rays upon arrival at the ER. Once he was stable enough to survive a five hour initial round of surgeries, he had to battle closed head traumatic brain injury which included swelling, contusions, bruising, bleeding and more. His blood pressure wouldn't stabilize and shot up to 210/98. He wouldn't be able to open both eyes for almost two weeks. He would endure a second surgery, complications from surgery, no food nor water for four days. Cosmetically he only chipped two front teeth, and other than the surgical scars, and black and blue bruising all over his body, he would be OK. He's not out of the woods yet and it's been 18 days in the hospital trauma unit. At first, at the accident scene, we took things second by second. In the ER it was minute by minute. As the days wore on with little change, it was hour by hour. Today we are starting to think in terms of day by day. Excellent surgeons and caring nurses have made a world of difference in his slow recovery.

So he's alive, right? It's all good? Sure, bones will heal. We hope he'll walk again in the coming months, learn how to dress himself and be able to feed himself. Maybe eventually he can recognize his own daughter on a daily basis and call her by name. Work, drive? Who knows. He might suffer from headaches, epilepsy. He might get back to baseline with months of mental rehab. He might be able to smell or taste, or not. So far he can see, but we haven't spoken to the Eye Dr. yet. We're not sure about his senses. No one is sure. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) isn't something you really prepare or plan for, and surprisingly not an exact science even among Neurologists. We don't know when he'll come home, but it's probably up to our health insurance company as they dictate length of stay, type of care, and it's never enough.

Speaking of health insurance, here are those things you need to know about, to take care of before you get on your bike next time. If you don't like stats, skip down to the next paragraph:

Annual direct and indirect TBI costs are estimated at $48 to $56 billion

There are about 235,000 hospitalizations for TBI every year, which is more than 20 times the number of hospitalizations for spinal cord injury

Males represent 78.8 percent of all reported TBI accidents, and females represent 21.2 percent

National statistics estimate between 50 and 70 percent of TBI accidents are the result of a motor vehicle crash

Deaths from head injuries account for 34 percent of all traumatic deaths

Here's my message to you. Read this as if it comes from your loved one, the one who will ultimately be the only one there for you day in and day out if you're lucky. Maybe your wife, your mother, your daughter...

If something happens to you as a result of a motorcycle accident, there is no one, except me, who is going to care for you the rest of your life. No one, except me, is going to have to go through the agony of having to decide what's more important, your brain or your body. No one is going to determine your short and/or long term care, whether or not to keep you on life support, how to pay for your care, except me. You need to give me Power of Attorney while you are still able to in case you are incapacitated mentally or physically. You need to complete an Advanced Directive or Living Will in case you are in a coma or brain dead. You need to be sure you have the right Health Insurance and a Savings Account which includes enough coverage and funds for long-term care in a nursing facility. You need to have Disability Insurance so we can make ends meet while you are in the hospital, and probably for a long time after you are released. Make sure your Auto Insurance covers liability damages in case we get sued by the people you hurt, and that there is some medical coverage to help with the Health Insurance deductibles. Keep a list someplace with your bills and credit cards and passwords so I can be sure things get paid and you don't mess up your credit. Anything else you can think of ahead of time will only help me. Don't do it tomorrow, do it today. Please.

You need to understand what you are going to put me and your other family and friends through when you have your accident, and you need to make it as painless as possible because I am going to be experiencing all kinds of emotions, and have many stressful and downright bad days ahead. I'll be eating hospital food for weeks while you don't eat at all. Our daughter will have nightmares, she will cry when you don't recognize her. I won't have a husband to hold me or help me around the house for a very long time. The dishes and laundry will pile up, you know how much I hate that. The yard won't get mowed, the things in the garage you tinker with will gather cobwebs and dust.

Your mail will keep coming, the things you ordered online, things that were so important are no longer relevant like your new motorcycle tires. People who don't know you are incapacitated will call and leave messages for you to call them back. I just don't have the strength to call them and explain again what happened, why you aren't around with those of us trying to live our lives as normally as possible.

The clothes they had to cut off your body in front of me on the highway will be delivered to me in a plain white bag by some unknown person at the hospital. It's all I'll have left of you from that day, things that you put on that morning, the last morning you knew who I was before you forgot my name. I have a lot to deal with now, on my own, and I wish more than anything you would come back to me because I need you.

Bikes are cool, they're fast, they're fun, but would you want to be your mother/wife/girlfriend having to potentially wait on your hand and foot for the rest of your vegetable life? I wouldn't want to have to do that for someone, so who am I to say that it's OK to put someone else through that?

[Apoc]

Sounds like one big guilt trip to me.

No one WANTS to be a vegetable but taking care of our loved ones is what's asked of everyone. Should I ask my wife to stop driving her car because she might end up a vegetable? Do I ask my dad to stop riding horses because he might end up like Superman? What about track events? Where do you draw the line of "oh x is too dangerous by y isn't." My family loves me for who I am and that includes motorcycles.

Am I selfish? No. We make sacrifices every day for the ones we love, this just isn't going to be one of them.

FWIW, I don't think your heart was ever in it. The fact it's taken over a year to get your bike back together shows your commitment so it really doesn't surprise me that you'd get spooked out of it. That's not a slight on you, I just don't think it was ever your thing and that's cool.

[Feersty]

I understand where you are coming from Mike. I saw my best friend in ICU after a motorcycle accident. His then girlfriend, now wife, at his bedside. Sometimes it is not worth it to put such a huge emotional strain on those you love. I want to get another one, but maybe I personally am not cut out for it, hell I crashed from no fault but my own, and if I would get seriously injured if I started if I started riding again, I am fine with not starting again.

[.RJ]

hell I crashed from no fault but my own

That is exactly why you shouldnt get another bike.

[WRXtranceformed]

Man I shivered when I read that story.

I've seriously debated buying a bike when I move down to SC, because EVERYONE rides down there. My buddy wants a brand new R1 and offered to sell me his 06 R6 at payoff. I seriously considered it, but I know deep down that there's a part of me that just feels way safer and more comfortable in a fast car. I'll probably just end up with another project car someday instead, simply because there is that fear in the back of mind my of something terrible happening to me on a bike. Not that something terrible couldn't happen in a car, but I like the idea of a full frame around me, seatbelts and airbags should the unthinkable happen.

Make the right choice for you, buddy. I don't think anyone here is going to judge you at all if you decide to hang up your helmet.

[Evan]

hell I crashed from no fault but my own

That is exactly why you shouldnt get another bike.

tell us about your wheelie wreck RJ, was that not your fault?

stop trolling every one of feerst's posts.

[Evan]

Where do you draw the line of "oh x is too dangerous by y isn't."

Isnt that the point?

[Apoc]

Where do you draw the line of "oh x is too dangerous by y isn't."

Isnt that the point?

Of course... I'm just curious where he draws the line.

[.RJ]

hell I crashed from no fault but my own

That is exactly why you shouldnt get another bike.

tell us about your wheelie wreck RJ, was that not your fault?

It was every bit my fault. 100%.

If you arent willing to admit and evaluate your mistakes when you ride then you probably dont belong on a bike. Nearly all single bike accidents are rider error. Shit happens, people dump their bikes all the time - thats ok - but admit fault and figure out what you did wrong.

stop trolling every one of feerst's posts.

Stop trolling my posts.

[Mike]

FWIW, I don't think your heart was ever in it. The fact it's taken over a year to get your bike back together shows your commitment so it really doesn't surprise me that you'd get spooked out of it. That's not a slight on you, I just don't think it was ever your thing and that's cool.

Going fast is my thing, period. I loved every second I was on the bike... The rebuild has taken so long because I don['t have the funds to buy new stuff and used stuff is very hard to come by... not a thing about desire.

I suppose my original post was nothing new... we all know the risks; it's just how much we're willing to accept. That said, when I began riding I didn't think of it from the eyes of the potential caretaker... Thanks to her writing, I have, and it has made my decision. Just hoping if there's someone else out there in the same shoes as me, this helps them.

All that said, likening riding a motorcycle to your wife driving her car is just silly... If you can't admit that riding a bike is a million times less safe, less controllable, and more likely to result in worse injuries, you're retarded.

[Apoc]

All that said, likening riding a motorcycle to your wife driving her car is just silly... If you can't admit that riding a bike is a million times less safe, less controllable, and more likely to result in worse injuries, you're retarded.

I don't think it's a "million times" less safe and when you factor in how much time she spends in a car versus how much I ride it probably equals out. I'm more likely to get seriously hurt should I actually get in an accident but she spends countless hours more time in her car.

I did some research...

200 million - number of cars on the road
3 million - number of car related injuries a year
1.5 - % injures versus number of vehicles

5 million - number of motorcycles on the road
65,000 - number of motorcycle related injuries a year
1.3 - % injures versus number of vehicles

Like I said... I conceede that my injury is likely to be far more serious but I disagree that I'm more likely to get hurt or that it's less controlable. I maintain the question, should I tell her not to drive because she might get hurt? Combine that with the fact that we sometimes ride together and the additional risk is negligible in my mind.

That said, when I began riding I didn't think of it from the eyes of the potential caretaker...

...and that's unfortunate because a lot of people are like that and their loved ones are left to pick up the pieces.

I have a problem with the original text because it reads as an "I resent you because xyz" sorta thing. If it helped you out in some way great, but I think it's a shitty way to go about it.

[Mike]

I did some research...

200 million - number of cars on the road
3 million - number of car related injuries a year
1.5 - % injures versus number of vehicles

5 million - number of motorcycles on the road
65,000 - number of motorcycle related injuries a year
1.3 - % injures versus number of vehicles

Like I said... I conceede that my injury is likely to be far more serious but I disagree that I'm more likely to get hurt or that it's less controlable.

hurray for flawed statistics. give me that per mile...

[Evan]

It was every bit my fault. 100%.
..blah blah

thats fine and dandy, and aside from my point. stop being a hypocrite with feerst.

hell I crashed from no fault but my own

That is exactly why you shouldnt get another bike.

stop trolling every one of feerst's posts.

Stop trolling my posts.

I call em like I see em.
I hardly follow you around and berate 90% of normal posts made by you.
Sure feersty posts some goofy shit sometimes (and less often than he used to) which is fun to poke at, but you've lost it.
I dont know if it makes you feel better about yourself to rag on his posts or what, but its pretty damn lame.

[Apoc]

hurray for flawed statistics. give me that per mile...

Drivers average 8x more mileage in a given year. 8 != 1000000

Also... You don't have the funds to buy new stuff? You make almost as much as I do, don't have a mortgage and track a second car. You may not have given it priority to get the funds because you'd rather do those things or go on a trip to say... London or Chicago.... but you have the funds. It's not at the top of the disposible income because like I said, it's not really your thing. Matt's crashed his bike twice now and despite making (what I think is) significantly less than you he's put it back together as soon as he was healed.

It ain't your thing and that's cool with me, I just have a problem with posting a guilt trip blog as food for thought. It helped you, awesome... but this kinda stuff just gets soooo tired because you hear it from everyone who doesn't ride.

[.RJ]

I dont know if it makes you feel better about yourself to rag on his posts or what, but its pretty damn lame.

And its every bit lame to rag on me, for ragging on feersty.

[Evan]

Chris Id like to see those statistics for various levels of injury. minor, Broken bones, long term injury, life threatening.
that does play a very important factor in it.

a lot of car related injuries arent much more than going to the doctor to make sure you are ok.

and i dont really see that story as a 'guilt trip'
similar to the guy who died at Mid-ohio a couple weeks ago has made me think about racing or not

[Evan]

I dont know if it makes you feel better about yourself to rag on his posts or what, but its pretty damn lame.

And its every bit lame to rag on me, for ragging on feersty.

nice try, but I dont follow you around and rag on every post you make.

[Apoc]

Chris Id like to see those statistics for various levels of injury. minor, Broken bones, long term injury, life threatening.
that does play a very important factor in it.

and i dont really see that story as a 'guilt trip'
similar to the guy who died at Mid-ohio a couple weeks ago has made me think about racing or not

Of the 3 million car injuries, 2 million were "permanent." Like I said, I agree that I'm more likely to get fucked up if/when I crash, I just think the whole motorcycles are a death sentence thing is overblown.

I think when you factor in alcohol, stupidity and lack of gear then the numbers aren't nearly as bad as people think. Yes you can still get hurt but didn't I read this guy drove at 55mph into the back of an SUV? I'm not immune from mistakes but a lot of statistics are people who we know will eventually end up as one.

Perhaps I'm a bit over-senstive and perhaps it has a lot to do with people asking me if I "like being an organ donor." (I've had that conversation more than once.) I've had the conversations with my wife and parents, I have life and disability insurance and I have a will. I don't need everyone, especially those who don't do it themself (don't mean you) constantly telling me how dangerous it is.

[.RJ]

nice try, but I dont follow you around and rag on every post you make.

No, only every reply I make to feersty - which is hardly every post he makes.

[Evan]

but didn't I read this guy drove at 55mph into the back of an SUV?

yeah that was the part that I was like "huh"
but i guess the argument could be made that sooner or later we will all zone out and not pay attention.
SUVs loaded with gear and people dont exactly stop like a 911 on race tires. and i kind of doubt it even did a threshold emergency stop.

sort of related, ive towed the racecar a couple times caravaning with RJ on a bike (when he isnt busy ragging on feersty anyway ) and it makes me very uncomfortable when he is in front of me. Im a pretty alert driver especially when towing, but the smaller bike just doesnt register as well in the brain's depth perception. I actually had to ask him not to slow down early for lights
something to keep in mind for the bikerz although you probably already do