03-07-2007, 02:13 PM
Warning: Long story but amusing.
So I was heading into Leesburg yesterday to meet a friend of mine for lunch at Moe's. I'm in the center lane on Rt 7 heading towards the left turn lane for the Moe's shopping center with my left blinker on. I'm running out of room and the guy in the left lane behind me is being a dick and closing off the space I had to merge over on purpose... basically not letting me over even though my signal was on forever. Well, there was just enough space for me to get over, so I merged over and stopped in the turn lane at the red light.
I see this motherfucker start to get out of his beat ass old van. I instantly lock the doors, not knowing if he's some crazy with a gun or something. He comes up to my window, at the red light, and motions for me to roll down my window. I shake my head no and he persists, so I crack it and this is what proceeds.
Me: "What the fuck are you doing dude?? You're standing in the middle of the fucking intersection!"
Him: "Why are you driving like that, you cut me off, blah blah blah"
Me: "You wouldn't fucking let me over dude and I was going to miss my turn because of it. Get the fuck back in your car."
Him: "Blah blah you need to learn how to drive blah blah"
Me: (In a voice like I'm the stepdad talking to my stepson) "GET THE FUCK BACK IN YOUR CAR." (proceed to roll my window up in his face)
So the guy punches my window. Now I'm pretty much a pacifist 90% of the time, but when someone fucks with my car something inside me snaps. We both make the same turn, he parks in the middle of the parking lot while I park next to Moe's. I see the guy get out of his car and come towards me, so instantly I ball up my fists and get ready to pummel this old man. He sees a cop car in the Moe's parking lot and wants to talk to the cop inside.
He goes inside and mentions how he'd like to punch me in the face instead of my car, and my response was in a deadly serious tone: "You fucking try it." I was two more minutes away from putting this guy in an early grave... I was hungover and all I wanted to do was chill with my friend who was arriving shortly and eat a hot burrito.
He bugs this cop who is sitting with his wife eating lunch, complaining about how I'm an aggressive driver and this and that. The cop pulls us outside, gets both of our stories. At this point I proceed to make this old man look like a complete tool in front of the cop. I mean, intellectually it was like Tyson fighting an infant. This guy works at a Giant for a living, for Christ's sake. I basically make the guy out to be crazy for yelling at someone in the middle of an intersection and punching their car.
The cop mentions something about everyone being grown adults, and I point out that grown adults don't get out of their cars, whine about being cut off when they're driving aggressively themselves, punch the other person's car, then whine to an off-duty police officer about it. The cop looks at the guy and says "He has a good point, sir." He then asks the guy what he wants to happen, and the guy says he has to deal with stuff like this every day and wants some kind of report written so that everyone can see that I'm an aggressive driver.
Then he asks me what I want and I tell him: "I want you to go back in and enjoy your lunch with your girl, and I don't really care what else happens from there. I'm sorry this tool had to bother you on your break. The one thing I do know that I want is for this guy to not fucking touch my car again."
So obviously nothing comes of it, he tells the guy to relax and he gives me this look like "did that just happen?" when we're both walking back in. I apologize again for that guy bothering him and thank him for being cool.
Moral of the story: If you hate your life, I don't really care and I'll put you in your place if you try to drag me down with you.
I did gain a huge respect for cops though, I honestly felt bad for that guy. Think about all the shit he has to put up with in his day, then to be bugged by some old crazy fuck about being cut off in traffic on his one peaceful half an hour with his wife.
So I was heading into Leesburg yesterday to meet a friend of mine for lunch at Moe's. I'm in the center lane on Rt 7 heading towards the left turn lane for the Moe's shopping center with my left blinker on. I'm running out of room and the guy in the left lane behind me is being a dick and closing off the space I had to merge over on purpose... basically not letting me over even though my signal was on forever. Well, there was just enough space for me to get over, so I merged over and stopped in the turn lane at the red light.
I see this motherfucker start to get out of his beat ass old van. I instantly lock the doors, not knowing if he's some crazy with a gun or something. He comes up to my window, at the red light, and motions for me to roll down my window. I shake my head no and he persists, so I crack it and this is what proceeds.
Me: "What the fuck are you doing dude?? You're standing in the middle of the fucking intersection!"
Him: "Why are you driving like that, you cut me off, blah blah blah"
Me: "You wouldn't fucking let me over dude and I was going to miss my turn because of it. Get the fuck back in your car."
Him: "Blah blah you need to learn how to drive blah blah"
Me: (In a voice like I'm the stepdad talking to my stepson) "GET THE FUCK BACK IN YOUR CAR." (proceed to roll my window up in his face)
So the guy punches my window. Now I'm pretty much a pacifist 90% of the time, but when someone fucks with my car something inside me snaps. We both make the same turn, he parks in the middle of the parking lot while I park next to Moe's. I see the guy get out of his car and come towards me, so instantly I ball up my fists and get ready to pummel this old man. He sees a cop car in the Moe's parking lot and wants to talk to the cop inside.
He goes inside and mentions how he'd like to punch me in the face instead of my car, and my response was in a deadly serious tone: "You fucking try it." I was two more minutes away from putting this guy in an early grave... I was hungover and all I wanted to do was chill with my friend who was arriving shortly and eat a hot burrito.
He bugs this cop who is sitting with his wife eating lunch, complaining about how I'm an aggressive driver and this and that. The cop pulls us outside, gets both of our stories. At this point I proceed to make this old man look like a complete tool in front of the cop. I mean, intellectually it was like Tyson fighting an infant. This guy works at a Giant for a living, for Christ's sake. I basically make the guy out to be crazy for yelling at someone in the middle of an intersection and punching their car.
The cop mentions something about everyone being grown adults, and I point out that grown adults don't get out of their cars, whine about being cut off when they're driving aggressively themselves, punch the other person's car, then whine to an off-duty police officer about it. The cop looks at the guy and says "He has a good point, sir." He then asks the guy what he wants to happen, and the guy says he has to deal with stuff like this every day and wants some kind of report written so that everyone can see that I'm an aggressive driver.
Then he asks me what I want and I tell him: "I want you to go back in and enjoy your lunch with your girl, and I don't really care what else happens from there. I'm sorry this tool had to bother you on your break. The one thing I do know that I want is for this guy to not fucking touch my car again."
So obviously nothing comes of it, he tells the guy to relax and he gives me this look like "did that just happen?" when we're both walking back in. I apologize again for that guy bothering him and thank him for being cool.
Moral of the story: If you hate your life, I don't really care and I'll put you in your place if you try to drag me down with you.
I did gain a huge respect for cops though, I honestly felt bad for that guy. Think about all the shit he has to put up with in his day, then to be bugged by some old crazy fuck about being cut off in traffic on his one peaceful half an hour with his wife.
Posting in the banalist of threads since 2004
2017 Mazda CX-5 GT AWD Premium
Past: 2016 GMC Canyon All Terrain Crew Cab / 2010 Jaguar XFR / 2012 Acura RDX AWD Tech / 2008 Cadillac CTS / 2007 Acura TL-S / 1966 5.0 HO Mustang Coupe
2001 Lexus IS300 / 2004 2.8L big turbo WRX STI / 2004 Subaru WRX / A couple of old trucks
2017 Mazda CX-5 GT AWD Premium
Past: 2016 GMC Canyon All Terrain Crew Cab / 2010 Jaguar XFR / 2012 Acura RDX AWD Tech / 2008 Cadillac CTS / 2007 Acura TL-S / 1966 5.0 HO Mustang Coupe
2001 Lexus IS300 / 2004 2.8L big turbo WRX STI / 2004 Subaru WRX / A couple of old trucks
