The Ant and the Grasshopper

[.RJ]

At the risk of inciting Kaan.... Modern spoof....

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

[Evan]

that f-ing rocks! :thumbup:

[Feersty]

Who voted for Gee W? I did! Yeah that's right.

[Mike]

I don't want to vote for anyone. Maybe Gary Nolan...

[Feersty]

I don't want to vote for anyone. Maybe Gary Nolan...

You didnt want to vote in 2000 or not going to vote in 2004?

[Mike]

I did vote in 2000, and I am going to vote in 2004.

[G.Irish]

What a trite and ignorant piece of propaganda :roll: It amazes me that some simpleton took the time to make this cute allegory so he could let the world know what a great grasp of politics he has.

[Mike]

Moral of the story: Throw away your civil liberties and blindly follow a man who can easily be considered a modern-day Hitler - Vote Republican.

[Kaan]

as the right wing of MM... (yes i get to be a "wing") if the fucking grasshopper would work hard... then his playing hard would be that much more fun... fuck head...

but seriously... bush aint perfect... i mean, he didnt build that wall around mexico like i told him too. one day we'll have a republican president that is actually a conservative... but till then i'll just vote for little bushy.

[JackoliciousLegs]

What a trite and ignorant piece of propaganda :roll: It amazes me that some simpleton took the time to make this cute allegory so he could let the world know what a great grasp of politics he has.

well said. i mean, what do instects know about politics anyways?! (stupid joke to be bipartisan)... I don't think it's a good idea to have politics on MM's forum... it would get pretty rowdy...

[Kaan]

do i smell fear, jackoff?

[G.Irish]

but seriously... bush aint perfect... i mean, he didnt build that wall around mexico like i told him too. one day we'll have a republican president that is actually a conservative... but till then i'll just vote for little bushy.

You hit the nail on the head. A problem the Republican party is having right now is that in theory they should think/act one way but in reality they are thinking/acting another. As I see it, the conservative platform should seek to preserve American rights and adhere to the ideals of the founding fathers. In reality members of the pseudo-conservatives are seeking to amend the constitution to discriminate against gays, suspend civil liberties for "the common good", and deficit spending their asses off. Here's to hoping there's a political ideology market correction.

[JackoliciousLegs]

do i smell fear, jackoff?

I don't like to make people feel bad by discussing the problems that our country is in because of our conservative leadership.

[Maengelito]

do i smell fear, jackoff?

I don't like to make people feel bad by discussing the problems that our country is in because of our conservative leadership.

i have been abstaining from discussing politics with anyone (well atleast the foreign relations stuff...) because it wouldnt be fair. but that statement is very wrong.

[.RJ]

FWIW, I lean to the right. But i wont be voting for hairpie, er Bush.

[Kaan]

lets talk foreign relations/policy... this could get good. bring it!!!!!

[JackoliciousLegs]

this could get good. bring it!!!!!

If you must know, I disagree with:
-War in Iraq I don't know what bush was thinking to be honest. wmd's? oil? breeching international law? There were no good ideas as to why we are there. America is not the world's justice system.
-Disobedience of international law America is not the only country on the planet. I hate the fact that Bush feels that he can do what he wants wherever he wants.
-Anything in the constitution regarding gay marriages Separation of church and state. The end. By being an american citizen, we should not be subjected to the religious viewpoints of conservative christians.
-lower taxes This leads to an elitest system of government with a large separation between classes, underfunded social programs, and a very hard wall to climb for people in the lower classes. I am in favor of welfare reform, just not getting rid of it entirely.
-school vouchers What were they smoking when the thought this up? Put money into the US' public school systems... they need it.
-education budget cuts This has hit JMU hard. If you've already graduated, you're lucky. If you're a freshman, I'm sorry. My friends in some departments (like psych) can't get into any classes to graduate.
-Bush's "across the board" tax cut that turned into a cut for the $100k+/year group A big lie that got Bush more middle-of-the-roaders in the election.

I'll post more later if I feel like it.

I really disagree with most of Bush's policies and methods. I'm considered an international student at JMU and after I graduate, I would have liked to travel back overseas without being afraid to call myself an american. Now, I'm much happier traveling on my second passport because of the terrible resentment for americans that has been built up by this administration.

[JackoliciousLegs]

On the gay marriage thing, one big argument that I feel conservatives try is "our founding fathers woudn't have put 'in god we trust' on the dollar if they didn't believe." This is for you:

George Washington, the first president of the United States, never declared himself a Christian according to contemporary reports or in any of his correspondence. On his deathbed, Washinton uttered no words of a religious nature and did not call for a clergyman to be in attendance.

Thomas Paine was a pamphleteer whose manifestos encouraged the faltering spirits of the country and aided materially in winning the war of Independence:
"I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of...Each of those churches accuse the other of unbelief; and for my own part, I disbelieve them all."

John Adams, the country's second president, called the clergy: "pretended sanctity of some absolute dunces" Also, under his administration, the Senate ratified the Treaty of Peace and Friendship, which states in Article XI that "the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion."

Thomas Jefferson, third president and author of the Declaration of Independence, said:"I trust that there is not a young man now living in the United States who will not die a Unitarian."

James Madison, fourth president and father of the Constitution, was not religious in any conventional sense. "Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise. During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution."

Last, but not least, Benjamin Franklin was a Deist, not a christian.

Sanctity of marriage.... defined by the Bible and society's conservatism... not by the US constitution. Americans should be free to marry whomever they want to marry.

[DierwulfBL]

Thomas Jefferson once said, ÔÇ£Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear."

[ScottyB]

just curious, where are you from Jack?