Going to hell? Always plan ahead!

[CaptainHenreh]

So, assuming there is a hell, here's where I'm headed:

Second Level of Hell

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You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

Hrmm. I would have put myself in Limbo, personally, but apparently my appetite for the finer things has put me just inside Hell Proper. (Incorporated)

So, Abandon all Hope, and see what you'll need to pack for the infernal Weather:

Clicky-pow!

Of course, maybe I should just convert to discordianism, and not worry about the hole thing.

[Dragon]

I'll be at the 2nd level as well.

[JackoliciousLegs]

i'm level 1

[WRXtranceformed]

2nd as well :roll:

[G.Irish]

Sweet I'm a 1337 sinner, Level 6 :twisted: .

[Dragon]

G, you are da debul.

[JohnC]

Right on G...

Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

[.RJ]

Most excellent.

[Jess]

Yay! Purgatory for me!

[Dave]

w00t! Level 3 Bitchez
In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws.


Dante doesn't know what he's talking about, I AM a good person! :twisted:

[Kaan]

lvl 4 bling! i stockpile shit!

[G.Irish]

This system is obviously screwed up. What it should say for Dave is:

In the ninth circle you find you find yourself smoldering in hot pits of putrid, used 10W50 with molten metal shavings floating in it. Every piece of soil not covered in boiling motor oil is stack with jagged wreckage of derelect econo boxes and pickup trucks. Junkyard dogs of hell patrol the banks of the oil pits of this circle of Hell. Battery acid rains from the sky and burns at your flesh that has been rended open by leviathons that lurk the oily deep. This most hellish circle is for those that have succumbed to the boost rot and have feverishly wasted their life, greedily seeking more boost. What's more is these most egregrious of sinners tempt and seduce others into their rotten existence so that they too will be servants of the boost. May you all burn and suffer for all eternity.

[.RJ]

hahaha

best post evAr

[Feersty]

This survey sucks, it doesn't give hope to anyone. I got level 4, ugh.

[Myuki]

I am teh 5th level of hell...and the river styx runs through it...and we all know what styx means

styx = Simple Times Yet eXcellence

[Mike]

i own you all:

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 8 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge

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Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

[JessicaRabbit79]

Second level... hmm...

[bassmangrammy]

Purgatory.

[.RJ]

If mike is going to the 8th level of hell, i'm sure he answered 'yes' to all of the homosexual questions

[G.Irish]

9th circle for Maeng too.