My friend's funny story.

[Feersty]

My friend Fran still has his tarjeta verde (green card), but has been in this country since he was like one year old. Here is his funny 4th of July story:

I got something funny to tell you though. So I took off monday before July 4 to go to PA with Becky to see her gramms and got back into work Wednesday. So I check my email and I see Human Resources sent me something. It said they were randomly checking up on my file stuff and noticed that my GREENCARD HAD EXPIRED on July 3!!! I couldn't believe that shit!! I spent over 2 hours on the phone with the US Citizenship and Immigration Services( or as Mexicans say, "La Migra") , about 1.5 hours of that was on hold...hijos de puta, and ended up going to my lawyer's office on Saturday to straighten the shit out. It was in Arlington.

I rode in the trunk. I was like OOOOOhhNoooooooooooLaMigraaaaaaa!!!! PuutMeeeInDeeeeeTruuuuunk!!!!!! I cut chou, mang, I CUT CHOU!!!! AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. So right now I feel like an illegal Salvadorean Lawnmower guy hidin from 5-O.Woah, who say 5-O??!! Where they at??!! Nooo! Naughty.....naughty jungle of love!!!! Fresh Fish!! Thurgood!!!

So anyways I got the renewal form sent overnight and I'm waitin (should take a month or so), but I have to go get a damn stamp in my passport so they don't kick my ass out to Venezuela. And on top of that, I don't even have the right Venezuelan ID shit. They don't want me either!!

I'm currently a man without a country; I feel like a Mexican Tom Hanks (Tomás LuisMartinEduardoRicardoRetardoJesusOhhhIShitOnMahself Hanks). So depending on when I get that damn stamp, (employer) might have to hide me in a closet or give me a janitor's suit or some shiet because they happen to be going through an audit sometime very very soon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! But they're being cool about it for now not firing my illegal ass. Hahaha. I get a kick out of that shit cuz here I was cuttin on all those illegal guys and by Zeus' beard, that shit hit me too!! you gotta laugh at that.

Well, that's what's been goin on for the past week with me. Tune in next week, kids, to see if Francisco can dodge deportation! Same Migra time, Same Migra Channel!! Dah Duh DAAAAA.

[Andy]

I had smoked bass, mashed potatoes and gravy yesterday.

[.RJ]

I had smoked bass

Seabass?

[Dragon]

Red Robin for lunch today!

[Feersty]

Red Robin for lunch today!

:?:

I had smoked bass, mashed potatoes and gravy yesterday.

:?:

[Mike]

i had some yoplait for breakfast, a banana as a snack, and .rj's mom is planned for lunch.

[Beej]

a banana as a snack

:evil:

[Evan]

hahah Mikey ate BJ's banana

[ScottyB]

[i]OOOOOhhNoooooooooooLaMigraaaaaaa!!!! PuutMeeeInDeeeeeTruuuuunk!!!!!! I cut chou, mang, I CUT CHOU!!!! AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. So right now I feel like an illegal Salvadorean Lawnmower guy hidin from 5-O.Woah, who say 5-O??!! Where they at??!! Nooo! Naughty.....naughty jungle of love!!!! Fresh Fish!! Thurgood!!!

robin williams?

[Mike]

it taste soooo goood.

[CaptainHenreh]

Julie and I had a pair of Subs from Jerry's.

We shared, how cute.

[mpg9999]

Did your friend find 5 dollars after that?

[Feersty]

Did your friend find 5 dollars after that?

no he met with his attorney to make sure he didn't get deported

[WRXtranceformed]

Working in the construction business, I can tell your friend that he doesn't need to feel alone. He is certainly not a unique snowflake.

He does have a one up though. At least it sounds like he speaks fluent English. Kudos!

Tell him to go get citizenship instead of being a slack motherfucker. If I went to another country to work for a legitimately long time, I'd make:
a) a reasonable attempt to learn the language (which he seems to have a firm grasp on)
and
b) a concrete attempt to join that country as a permanent citizen so you don't have to worry about your job / livelihood security like a dumbass.

I couldn't tell you how many of our subcontracted employees I've told this, and I couldn't tell you how many haven't listened to me either. And yes, I do speak to them in Spanish, I'm about 60% fluent in it

[Ryan T]

We caught 4 mexicans tryin to steal shit from the grocery store the other day and our undercover police officer who works there arrested all 4 of them, found out they didn't speak a damn bit of english and weren't here legally....they're on their way back to mexicoland now.

[.RJ]

Seabass?

Mmmmm seabass

[Ryan T]

Seabass?

Mmmmm seabass

worst thread bump ever.

[Goodspeed]

[white_2kgt]

Seabass?

Mmmmm seabass

do they make sushi out of seabass?

та девочка надоедлива и сердита

[Evan]

Seabass?

Mmmmm seabass

:?: