Title Jumping. Probably not going to do that any more.

[CaptainHenreh]

do tell. sounds like a super happy fun lighthearted story

Gather 'round, children. Let Uncle Rex regale you with a cautionary tale filled with Cops, Subarus, and tickets.

It all started with my Second Subaru. A 1992 SVX. White, with grey leather. See, I was reading flipping through the Valley Trader (AKA, Craigslist for the Valley that you pay a buck fifty for) when I came upon the ad:

1992 Subaru SVX
120K miles
Needs fender
$400

WHO COULD RESIST? Not I. So I called. The very nice lady on the other end said "Oh yeah, I'm in Front Royal. Yes, it runs. Drives too. Tell you what, if you come get it this week you can have it for $Free, I am moving and I can't take it with me."

SHIT YES, HOSS. When I get there the car is actually in really really good shape (if a bit musty) and someone had jumpered the trans to be in FWD only mode (probably because the trans was on it's last legs but HEY FREE CAR.) She also had a 1989 Toyoya Camry. I asked how much she wanted for it, she said I could have that too. Ho. Lee. Shit. I done won the free car jackpot. Spit shine the camry, sell it for enough to cover a manual trans swap, and we're golden. The seller signed both titles, my lovely girlfriend's father facilitated transport by loading the Subaru on a trailer, and I followed behind with the Toyota. We made it to The Future Mrs. Rex's Childhood Home in Winchester without incident.

Weeks pass. I do some piddly projects on the subie. Change the oil, sparkplugs, but I'm a poor college student, and Bruce is tired of his daughters dumbass boyfriend taking up all this room in his yard. An ultimatum is delivered: Move these cars or they're going to the junkyard.

OK, FINE. I call up Partner in Crime, Dave Allen. "Hey dave, wanna drive an SVX?" We decide that instead of hauling the cars, fuck it. We'll just drive them. Sure the tags are dead, and the inspections dead, and the registration isn't in our name. What's the worst that could happen? We decide to drive down Rt 11, because there'll be "less cops".

Here's where we come to Lesson Number 1 in our story. A DMV Trip Permit is Five Fucking Dollars. You can get it online, in like 45 seconds, from the DMV website. It is easy. It is cheap. And if I'd done it this story would be a shitload more boring.

We set off. Julie in the Cavalier leading us, Dave in the SVX following close behind, and me in the Yoda made the caboose. We make it to Strasburg before we see our first cop. Great success, he has someone pulled over, so we're fine...right?

Wrong. Wrongwrongwrong. Next thing I know, blue light special, Aisle 11. Shit he's got me! SAVE YOURSE...he rockets past me. What the fu...aw shit. He pulls right in front of me to pull over Dave, the (mostly) innocent bystander. I pull over behind cop and (like an idiot) get out to try to flag the cop down, since dave doesn't know shit about any of these cars, they're all mine, after all!

Well ole Officer Scooter must think he's got himself some big-time car thieves on the hook here, and he calls for backup. No lie, six patrol cars arrive, including the West Berlin, I mean, Strasburg chief of police: "You got insurance, boy?" Yes, sir. I don't have my insurance card but I'll give you the name and number of my agent and he'll be happy to confirm what I've said. "YOU BETTER NOT BE LYIN TO ME, SON?" Sir with all due respect why would I lie about having insurance?

Which brings me to lesson B: Always have your papers. Never know when some jackbooted thug is looking to drum up charges on you to make himself look good for der fuhrer.

"These cars yours?"
Yeah, I recently got them. Moving them to my house.
"Title ain't signed. Looks to me like this is MY car, all I have to do is sign the title."
Well sir, they aren't yours. They're mine.
"Well you need to come with us to the station so we can figure out what to charge you with."

This is the part where I should have said "Sir, am I under arrest or am I free to go?" But I was young and stupid and just wanted to bring my cars home. We get free rides to the Strasburg police station, my cars get free rides to impound, and my future wife gets to wait in the parking lot. ("Did anyone check her car? Maybe it's illegal too!" No shit, the Chief of Police said that.)

So here's the tally: (Dave got some of these, but they were all "mine")
2x expired inspection
2x expired registration
2x no insurance
2x "Open Title" my class three misdemeanors.

"But wait, Uncle Rex," you say. "That's only 8!" Good eye, child. See, after I paid 300 dollars to get my free cars out of impound, I got pulled over one last time for a dead inspection on my future father in law's trailer. That made 9.

So I sell both cars, and make enough money to pay the inspection and registration tickets. But I have to go to court for the insurance and open title. The insurance ticket was a 1500 dollar fine, and suspension of my license! (Dave's too.)

I get my Goodwill suit dry cleaned, put on my nicest tie, and go into court armed with the above quoted section of law and a copy of my insurance policy.

Dave gets to go first. (Allen comes before Elsea.) It went like this:
Judge: "Son, do you have insurance?"
Dave: "Yes, your honor. Here is the proof."
Judge: "Did you have insurance on the day in question?"
Dave: "Yes, your honor. I was never asked if I had insurance, only ticketed." (Which was true!)
Judge: "Officer scooter, did you ask this young man if he had insurance?"
OS: "Well uh, you see, I, uh, baduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Judge: "Dismissed! Sorry to take up your time, son."

Now I'm up.

Judge: "No insurance, again. Same situation, I reckon?"
Me: "Yes, your honor. Officer Scooter never asked me if I had insurance. The chief of police did and I told him that I DID have insurance."
Judge: "I see. And this open title."
Me: "Well your honor looking at the code section it appears that it's the seller's responsibility to make sure the title is filled out, not mine! How can I be the "owner" of a car when the title hasn't even been signed."
Prosecuting Attorney: "Well, the purpose of the law is clear in this case. You were the one in possession of an open title."
Me: "Well that might be true but I wasn't trying to defraud anyone. See, I registered the cars and paid the appropriate taxes, and I have copies of that registration."
Judge: "And you have these cars now?"
Me: "No your honor, I had to sell them to pay for my other tickets I got this day."
Judge: "I think you learned your lesson. Not guilty. And YOU, officer scooter. This court is tired of you wasting the courts time on things like this."

The prosecuting attorney met me outside the courtroom to congratulate me on my fantastic job. 'You made that officer look like a jackass.' I, of course, was about to puke coming down off adrenalin and barely squeaked out a 'thank you, sir.'

Which brings us to lesson number three: ALWAYS DRESS NICE IN COURT AND BE POLITE TO JUDGES.

I hope all you new little punks who think you know everything (Like I did when I was your age) have learned a thing or two from your elder's awful experience.

[CaptainHenreh]

lol rex has the story on the Focus too... someone wanted some warranty work

I'll copypasta from my tale of woe on arf:

So I recently sold my 2005 Ford Focus.
Good car! I was actually considering keeping it, if I could sell my Mazdaspeed3 first, but I get this email from a UofM Student:

Hi,

I am a student of UMD. The maxium for me to offer is $3000.
Can you accept that? I am currently in College Park, MD.
I am bargining the price because I do not want to travel 50 miles in vain.

Sorry if you can not accept my number.
Thanks.


Best Regards,
Dr. Douchecanoe*


(*name changed to protect the retarded)

Now, that's 750 bucks less than I was asking, but 3k was in fact my bottom line, so I said "sure, come look at it."

He arrives. He looks over the car. Starts it. Says "It's louder than my friend's Camry." Hey man, that's a domestic for you. I explain that I just did the front brakes, that it got new tires a little more than a year ago, and that it passed NoVA emissions last year as well. Honestly guys, it's a good car. And for 3 grand? C'mon!

He drives, slowly, around the parking lot. I say to him "Go ahead man, drive it around town. Come back when you're done." He says "No thanks, I will take it. Can you drive me to the bank?" So he drives to the bank, gets 3 grand out of his account, gives it to me. My wife signs the title (her car) and we wish him happy trails. He asks "Can you leave the price blank? I want to save money on my taxes." Hey man, whatever you want to do. I don't care. He puts his plates on, and leaves. This is a saturday.

The following Monday, I get an email asking for a "Lien Release Notice". I politely explain to him that when a lien is satisfied in Virginia you get a new title. You don't get a title before that time, as the lienholder has the title, so he does not need a Lien Release Notice. He thanks me.

Tuesday. I get an email telling me the Reverse lights don't work. I honestly did not know this. He gets a quote from a local Ford dealer, 153 dollars to replace the backup sensor. He wants me to pay for that.

I politely explain (see a theme here) that the car was sold as-is, where-is, with no warranty expressed or implied. I can't pay for your backup sensor, as I honestly didn't know it was broken, and paying for anything now could open me up to liability in the future. I do however point him to the part number and instructions on how to repair it himself, suggesting that this might be a good opportunity to learn his way around the car.

He sends this email in reply:
Rex,

I understand your position and there is no warranty at all.
But I do not have much experience and sense how to inspect a used auto.
I bought it because I trust you and believe this is a good car no matter it has
a collision record. I just want a car which is ready to use.

Please you help this issue out and I won't bother you any more regarding the
physical inspection. I will try my best to find a cheapest shop.

Pleas let me know how you think.

Thanks.

Best Regards,
Dr. Douchecanoe

(For the record, the "collision" record he speaks of I was up front about in my ad, it was professionally repaired, and does not affect the car AT ALL.)

I tell him under no uncertain circumstances that I'm not giving him a dime. He already talked me down 750 dollars from my asking price. With the money you saved, replacing that crap is easy peasy. He finds it too difficult, takes it to a shop. They replace it, give it an inspection, but give him shit about the tires. They said one had a "weird wear pattern" and the other had a repair too close to the sidewall. (the guys who repaired it for me didn't think it was too close, but whatever.) But, they pass it. So he goes to register it.

Because he wrote $1800 on the title, the MVA wants a NOTARIZED Bill of Sale stating that amount. I'm not exactly swimming in Notaries, and I'm not really into committing perjury either. If you want to do it, that's your business, but not mine. I tell him my wife will send him a notarized BoS for the FULL amount of the sale, but not for his reduced amount. He says that's fine. Today, he sends me this email:


Rex,

I just want to let you know the cost list.

(1) What I have paid:
(a) Reverse light switch $123 (part and labor)
(b) Inspection $68
© Insurance $386.60 (Geico 6 months, started from July 12)
(2) What I will pay:
(d) tax (6% in MD) $180
(e) two tire replacement $140 (estimated)
(f) registration and plate $128

I know most of the cost has nothing to do with you, but the (a) and (e) are definitely related to you if you farely think about it. And I already started my insurance, but I still can not drive it.

You are a good guy, hope you will do good to me.

Thanks.



What's your point jackhole? You bought the car, you had ample time to inspect it, I sold it in good faith ... caveat emptor motherfucker!

I reply:

Dr. Douchecanoe,

You misunderstand. None of those costs are related to me. You bought a 5 year old car with a 112,000 miles on the odometer that was by (not only my estimation) in excellent shape for it's age and mileage. You understood (or should have understood) when you purchased the car that it was as-is, where is, with no warranty expressed or implied. (As I reiterated in a previous email.) Having bought and sold many cars in my life, if $3,263 dollars gets you a reliable fuel efficient automobile, you should be pleased. If you wanted a warranty, there are many reputable car dealers that sell brand new cars with factory warranties. They do not, however, sell them for $3,263 dollars.

1(a): You had ample opportunity to inspect the car before purchase. You even in fact inspected all the lights, as you saw me drive it. I tried to give you room so as not to pressure you, and I think I did an excellent job. If you do not have the expertise to properly inspect a car before sale, you should find someone who does. I would have happily allowed you to take the car to a mechanic for an inspection; you never brought it up, so I assume you elected not to do so.
1(b): This is a sunk cost. In VA, we have to inspect every year, to the tune of 20 dollars. You only have the hassle of inspection once.
1©: Again, this is a sunk cost. Unavoidable. Although it sounds a little on the high side. You may want to shop around.
2(d): Only two things in life are sure: Death and Taxes. 6% actually sounds reasonable, although there's lots of room for discussion on the constitutionality of a second-sale sales tax. Sleep easy knowing I paid ALOT more tax when I purchased the car myself.
2(e): I would like to again refer you to 1(a): You had plenty of time to inspect the automobile, and there is plenty of documentation on how to properly inspect an automobile. Furthermore, you do not HAVE to replace the tires, as your car is inspected in Maryland (See 2(b)) and will not incur another inspection while owned by you in the State of Maryland.
2(f): See 1(b), 1©, 2(d).

So, as you can see, none of these costs are related to me in any way. They are related to your car, which you purchased. The reason you cannot drive it, once again, has nothing to do with me, but has everything to do with your desire to save tax money. If you paid the minimum tax based on book value, you could drive your car today, I suspect. This is your choice, not mine. I do not live in Maryland, and have not lived in Maryland for quite some time, and never bought a car in Maryland. I did not know that a notarized bill of sale would be required by the State of Maryland, and we don't exactly have notaries on every corner here in Virginia. I will try to get a notarized bill of sale as soon as possible, but I am not a college student, and do not have abundant time to try and hunt down a notary.

Dr. Douchecanoe, I have tried to do right by you. Many of my friends to whom I have described this situation have said that I should tell you to "pound sand". I'm a nice guy. If I weren't, I could itemize all the time post-sale I've spent dealing with issues that are not my responsibility (see 1a-2f) and my "non professional" billing rates tend towards ~$75 an hour.

This will be our last communication. I will mail you the notarized bill of sale (in the amount of $3000 dollars) but apart of confirmation or receipt of that (which I do not actually require, I will be mailing it with signature confirmation) I do not wish to receive any further communication from you nor will your unsolicited emails or phone calls be responded to. I'm sorry it has to come with this, but you clearly have unrealistic expectations that are in need of adjustment, and any further responses from me will only increase my liability.

Best Regards,

Rex


In the meantime, my wife mails his bill of sale, and I think, "Whew! Finally over!"

Nope!

His "friend" emails me a few minutes ago:


Hi Rex,

I am a witness whom had been you home with Dr. Douchecanoe.
I think you should help Dr. Douchecanoe to solve his problem:
First, you told him that your car had new tires. However, this was definitely wrong. (*noteÔÇôÔÇô I told him no such thing. I told him I bought them LAST YEAR)
Second, you told him that he could write the price lower than $3000. (*Also untrue. I told him he could do what he wanted. He's a big boy.)
Third, you told him that your car was a good car. He 's completely trust you couple. (...actually true. It IS a good car!)
Fourth, Your wife just need to sigh it and notary it, no one knows the problem. (...oh, so perjury is no big deal to you. What would happen in your home country if you did that? I smell reeducation camp!)


UGH!

I am never, EVER selling anything to a Maryland resident ever again! TEAM, what should I do? Should I call a lawyer and file suit for harassment? Just block his email? Any UofM students out there willing to go explain a little latin to this Joker?

UGH! this just makes me so

And people wonder why I hate Maryland so much!

[.RJ]

DMV trip permits are so money.

[Mike]

yes.

[Apoc]

I drove Bobo from Frederick to Ashburn on nothing but a trip permit. Those pipes are so loud, I can't believe I made it without being hassled. I think that's anecdotal proof cruisers rarely get shit.

Oh, and I always send the Bill of Sale ahead of time so there are no surprises when they're asked to sign it.

[BLINGMW]

Fun story Rex :lol: That was a very good lesson for me


I'd never even heard the term "trip permit" until just a couple days ago when talking about this. Apparently I was the only one who didn't know about this. Reading up on it now, I see it doesn't really seem like it helps much if I buy a car out of state, which is somehow almost always the case for me. If I were to buy douchecanoe's car in MD now for example, I don't think my VA trip permit would mean much to a MD cop. I'd rather keep taking my chances with my valid VA plate unless someone can 'splain this to me. :dunno: Am I expected to get a "trip permit" from every state I'll cross? That doesn't sound like something I will ever do.

[Apoc]

It's no different than a license plate as you're supposed to display it in the window. You might be pulled over, but as it's valid vehicle identification in Virginia they're supposed to honor it.

[BLINGMW]

It's no different than a license plate as you're supposed to display it in the window. You might be pulled over, but as it's valid vehicle identification in Virginia they're supposed to honor it.

ah. ok. Maybe I'll try that next time then :thumbup:

[Mike]

the way i read it [a while ago], the permit is not good for out-of-state. i just crossed my fingers for that portion of the trip.

[.RJ]

Trip permits are fine for out of state. I drove a car across the country on one.

[Mike]

did you get pulled over?

[.RJ]

Yes, for doing about 110 in texas. Showed the cop the trip permit, bill of sale, title and that part was fine.

[Ryan T]

"But wait, Uncle Rex," you say. "That's only 8!" Good eye, child. See, after I paid 300 dollars to get my free cars out of impound, I got pulled over one last time for a dead inspection on my future father in law's trailer. That made 9.

I sorta remember that trip. You burst into my apartment while I was "under an influence" and shouted "Thayer I need your help, lets go." Jumped in the truck and away we went to get the car. Sadly I wasn't much help, but it was def. fun!

[Mike]

i just read the title (haha) of this thread as "tittie jumping." anybody know about that? recommended?

[ScottyB]

i just read the title (haha) of this thread as "tittie jumping." anybody know about that? recommended?

best to do that with the newer models or restored older ones :lol:

[Apoc]

I prefer "tittie humping" to jumping.