Little career advice

[Ryan T]

So I'm in a bit of a spot. I started a new job in October. I'm doing basically the same thing, but with juveniles. It's more money than my old job and it's a state job. The director of our office is a family friend, my cousin, I've known him all my life, graduated high school with his son and were good friends. He's a close friend and he helped me get my first job in the probation field then hired me to work for him when a position opened up.

There's going to be an opening with the adult state probation office in two months, which is really where I want to work, and their director has been asking me to apply. The money is about the same but the adult office gives me a better chance of moving into the federal system as a federal probation officer or a marshal before I age out.

My question: Is it a complete slap in the face to my current boss and friend to only work for him for 6 months before I leave and go to another office? Am I going to be burning a bridge I might regret later? Or do I take the job that I want, climb another rung up the career ladder and don't look back?

[Apoc]

Talk to him about it and tell him the truth. If he is a good friend, he will understand the new place is ultimately the direction you want your career to go and wish you well. Make sure you point out it was never your intention and you're thankful for the opportunity. I'd also consider telling him (and the new place) you'll stick around until he can replace you.

[CaptainHenreh]

Talk to him about it and tell him the truth. If he is a good friend, he will understand the new place is ultimately the direction you want your career to go and wish you well. Make sure you point out it was never your intention and you're thankful for the opportunity. I'd also consider telling him (and the new place) you'll stick around until he can replace you.

This, I'm pretty sure.

[Evan]

6 months is short even in the tech industry or job hopping NOVA. Im always the first to say to people "a company will f*** you over for their bottom line, so dont hesitate to do whats in your best interest."
BUT
When youre in good-ole-boy state corrections and was hired by a family pal, It sounds to me like more of a punch in the face to me than a slap. A haymaker. With brass knuckles. Personally I wouldnt even talk to him about it, not for at least a year.

But if you really have your mind set on it, a talk with him is mandatory. And its still a mike tyson uppercut followed by a kick in the gonads.

Make sure you point out it was never your intention and you're thankful for the opportunity.

translation: "I lied to you all along, am just using you for the furtherment of my career, and never meant to work for you"

[WRXtranceformed]

I hear what Chris and Evan are saying. I was in a similar situation in that I was working for two of my best friends for almost 2 years. I had a better job opportunity that came up and I took it (there were some things going on that I wasn't really happy about, which is a little different from your situation). It was a tough conversation to have, especially since I helped them get the business going but they understood because they were good friends. If you have that same relationship, I'm sure he will understand....but I would probably give it more than 6 months. If that guy really wants you I'm sure he'd be willing to wait. You're going to have to feel it out though...you know that business probably better than any of us.

[Apoc]

Make sure you point out it was never your intention and you're thankful for the opportunity.

translation: "I lied to you all along, am just using you for the furtherment of my career, and never meant to work for you"

Only if he made it seem like he was going to be there for the long haul.

Either way, it's continued evidence why people shouldn't mix money and family/friends. Shit just gets sticky.

[WRXtranceformed]

Either way, it's continued evidence why people shouldn't mix money and family/friends. Shit just gets sticky.

Truth from experience. I love my boys, but if what happened to me happened at any other job with other bosses I probably would have hired a lawyer.

[Sijray21]

If he really cares for your best interest then he won't mind if you leave for another job that you would rather do. Talk to him about it.

[Ryan T]

I'm sure he will understand....but I would probably give it more than 6 months. If that guy really wants you I'm sure he'd be willing to wait. You're going to have to feel it out though...you know that business probably better than any of us.

Therein lies one of the problems. There isn't any "waiting." He's got 2 guys retiring and he will need people to take over their caseloads in fairly quick order. His current staff doesn't have the manpower to supervise their cases with 2 less people. When the state advertises the jobs they are usually open for 30 days and then he has about 20 days to interview people and hire someone.

[Apoc]

If you don't do anything, you're going to end up resenting your current job.

[ScottyB]

how often do these better positions open up in your field? depending on how often could change how the situation pans out.

reason i ask is that I would wait at least a year to a year and a half before making a move from your current position. as a family member i just can't see there being any way of telling him without him feeling hurt or you looking ungrateful after such a short period of time. of course I don't really know your relationship with him, so he may be really chill about it, but deep down there's going to be a sense of getting stepped on by him i think. if it was another other corporate suit I wouldn't care and would give you a high five on the way out. but family is a huge grey area.

if someone makes an effort to help you get something as big as a nice place of entry into your career, i'd suck it up for a while and consider your service as a debt to their effort.

[WRXtranceformed]

If he really cares for your best interest then he won't mind if you leave for another job that you would rather do. Talk to him about it.

Yep, you just have to set the expectation when you start that conversation that it is purely a business decision and has nothing at all to do with your friendship. That's the way I approached it and it worked out great

Therein lies one of the problems. There isn't any "waiting." He's got 2 guys retiring and he will need people to take over their caseloads in fairly quick order. His current staff doesn't have the manpower to supervise their cases with 2 less people. When the state advertises the jobs they are usually open for 30 days and then he has about 20 days to interview people and hire someone.

Do you think this is your only opportunity to move up? If so it might be worth pursuing...otherwise I'm leaning more toward Evan in that I feel like 6 months could be construed as taking advantage of your friend. The truth is too, having friends that can get you openings like that are invaluable when you're just getting into a field....maybe your buddy's dad will sponsor you for an even better position in the future? The truth is, you probably aren't as close with this director as you are with this guy, so ultimately you probably don't know how quickly you'll be able to move up in the adult system.

[Dave]

Take him out to lunch so you're not in the workplace setting and can hopefully relax some. Tell him the truth and be completely honest, he'll respect you more for it and take you seriously. If you're willing to stick it out with him for a while (another year?), put that on the table so he knows this isn't a "Nice knowing you" chat. You may end up sitting for a while in your current role and missing this particular opportunity, but at that point there will be several possible positives:
1) you've repaid your debt and you'll both be on even terms
2) he knows your goals and aspirations and could keep his own eyes open for opportunities to point you towards
3) you can always keep your own search going as well (I have no idea how often these things pop up in your field)

I manage with the view that if you bust your ass for me, I'm going to do whatever is in my power to compensate you for it. Could be a better bonus, a raise, or recommending you for positions of more exposure and potential promotions. However, I'll never know where you want to go if you don't tell me...

[Feersty]

People will almost always look out for themselves before other people. Feel it out with this guy, and he should understand that you are looking out for yourself, just like he would if he was in your same situation.