11-21-2007, 09:22 AM
 begins in Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City happens to be the hometown of a nice chap named Ian. Ian had a motorcycle I wanted. We agreed on a price and he was gracious enough to agree to pick me up from the local airport. I would fly out and ride home. The deal was made, a plane ticket bought, and a route penciled out.
Fuck.
Did I mention that I'm from Northern Virginia? Kansas City is 1,100 miles towards the left coast. Its November ÔÇô a cold November ÔÇô this was a good idea? Too late.
At the crack of dawn my girlfriend dropped me off at Dulles airport. My plan was to fly over and be on the road by 2pm. My airline, United, was, of course, the only airline with a huge queue of people waiting to check in. Awesome. I should note that I was nervous about my to-be-checked bag because of the tools, and funny looking things inside of it (like my heated jacket, which, with all the wires running up and down it, Im sure looks something like an improvised oh, what do they call those things? Improvised TSA Make Mad Thing? Sure, that works, ITSAMMT. Oh, bomb  who worries about those?). Without any alternative to moving the stuff, I kept my fingers crossed.
When it was my turn to check in, all the Airline Agents (search term: United Airlines : Did I mention that I was flying United Airlines?) seemed to disappear, leaving me to navigate the touch screen check in by myself. Great. After a walk through I get my ÔÇ£Departure Management CardÔÇØ and the nice lady talking out of the side of the touch screen says ÔÇ£an Agent will now take your checked luggage.ÔÇØ Well, a United Airlines (did you catch that? It was United Airlines) Agent did appear. She asked me to step away from the terminal so somebody else could check in.
Bitch.
ÔÇ£What about my bag?ÔÇØ I asked. At this time a behind-the-counter rep tried to help me. The original rep shooed him away, though, and pointed down to the other end of the airport terminal.
ÔÇ£Take the bag to the TSAÔÇØ she shouted at me.
Confused and pissed off, I delivered my bag to a giant pile of other ousted baggage. They were all, apparently, homeless. There were 10 or 15 other people as confused as I was. Why our bags werenÔÇÖt put on the regular conveyor behind the counter IÔÇÖll never know. My anger turns to worry, though, and I start to wonder if my bag will make it on the plane. IÔÇÖm screwed if it doesnÔÇÖt.
After a tram to my planeÔÇÖs gate I wait. And wait. When I got bored, I read my ÔÇ£Departure Management CardÔÇØ ÔÇô then I re-read it. It doesnÔÇÖt have a seat number. I worry again. ÔÇ£Will I make it on the plane?ÔÇØ IÔÇÖm extra screwed if I donÔÇÖt.
I visit a United Airlines Customer Service desk (it almost seems oxymoronic at this point). The man behind the counter tells me to wait until the flight boards and ask the gate attendant, at that time, to print me a boarding pass.
Does anybody actually do anything useful at United Airlines?
Unsatisfied, I visit the gate attendant and ask her to print me a boarding pass Right Now [cue: Van Halen]. Everybody else has one, after all. I donÔÇÖt even know if I have a seat. Gimme, gimme, gimme! The attendant prints me a pass and I ask her to check to see if my checked luggage will make it on the flight. With all the funky shit that happened I wanted to be sure. She stards in with ÔÇ£uhmmÔÇØ then ÔÇ£uhh, errÔÇØ and I say
ÔÇ£Oh, you canÔÇÖt check that?ÔÇØ
Oh, no, I can but Im too busy. Ask me later.
OK ÔÇô really, when youÔÇÖre a customer service agent, how in the hell do you get away with this? I guess itÔÇÖs OK if you work for United Airlines. So, I went back to the customer service desk. The gentleman confirmed that my bag ÔÇ£should be getting on the flightÔÇØ. No shit? I know it SHOULD be, but is it? Oh well, I guess thatÔÇÖs the best they can do.
After all this, the flight was delayed (Ian later told me that he had checked the United website for flight updates and the reason listed for the delay was ÔÇ£crew.ÔÇØ Whatever ÔÇô fuck United, IÔÇÖll never fly with them again). Nobody was told the flight was delayed... it just didn't board. The flight after us boarded, then the one after that. It's 8:30 - the plane was supposed to leave at 8:20 and it hasn't even pulled up to the gate.
I have a day and a half to ride halfway across the country. I don't know if my luggage will make it... I don't even know if I'LL make it... and I've got no support trucks. This could be a bad day, "am we even flying today?" I wondered aloud...
Stay Tuned For More Story.
Fuck.
Did I mention that I'm from Northern Virginia? Kansas City is 1,100 miles towards the left coast. Its November ÔÇô a cold November ÔÇô this was a good idea? Too late.
At the crack of dawn my girlfriend dropped me off at Dulles airport. My plan was to fly over and be on the road by 2pm. My airline, United, was, of course, the only airline with a huge queue of people waiting to check in. Awesome. I should note that I was nervous about my to-be-checked bag because of the tools, and funny looking things inside of it (like my heated jacket, which, with all the wires running up and down it, Im sure looks something like an improvised oh, what do they call those things? Improvised TSA Make Mad Thing? Sure, that works, ITSAMMT. Oh, bomb  who worries about those?). Without any alternative to moving the stuff, I kept my fingers crossed.
When it was my turn to check in, all the Airline Agents (search term: United Airlines : Did I mention that I was flying United Airlines?) seemed to disappear, leaving me to navigate the touch screen check in by myself. Great. After a walk through I get my ÔÇ£Departure Management CardÔÇØ and the nice lady talking out of the side of the touch screen says ÔÇ£an Agent will now take your checked luggage.ÔÇØ Well, a United Airlines (did you catch that? It was United Airlines) Agent did appear. She asked me to step away from the terminal so somebody else could check in.
Bitch.
ÔÇ£What about my bag?ÔÇØ I asked. At this time a behind-the-counter rep tried to help me. The original rep shooed him away, though, and pointed down to the other end of the airport terminal.
ÔÇ£Take the bag to the TSAÔÇØ she shouted at me.
Confused and pissed off, I delivered my bag to a giant pile of other ousted baggage. They were all, apparently, homeless. There were 10 or 15 other people as confused as I was. Why our bags werenÔÇÖt put on the regular conveyor behind the counter IÔÇÖll never know. My anger turns to worry, though, and I start to wonder if my bag will make it on the plane. IÔÇÖm screwed if it doesnÔÇÖt.
After a tram to my planeÔÇÖs gate I wait. And wait. When I got bored, I read my ÔÇ£Departure Management CardÔÇØ ÔÇô then I re-read it. It doesnÔÇÖt have a seat number. I worry again. ÔÇ£Will I make it on the plane?ÔÇØ IÔÇÖm extra screwed if I donÔÇÖt.
I visit a United Airlines Customer Service desk (it almost seems oxymoronic at this point). The man behind the counter tells me to wait until the flight boards and ask the gate attendant, at that time, to print me a boarding pass.
Does anybody actually do anything useful at United Airlines?
Unsatisfied, I visit the gate attendant and ask her to print me a boarding pass Right Now [cue: Van Halen]. Everybody else has one, after all. I donÔÇÖt even know if I have a seat. Gimme, gimme, gimme! The attendant prints me a pass and I ask her to check to see if my checked luggage will make it on the flight. With all the funky shit that happened I wanted to be sure. She stards in with ÔÇ£uhmmÔÇØ then ÔÇ£uhh, errÔÇØ and I say
ÔÇ£Oh, you canÔÇÖt check that?ÔÇØ
Oh, no, I can but Im too busy. Ask me later.
OK ÔÇô really, when youÔÇÖre a customer service agent, how in the hell do you get away with this? I guess itÔÇÖs OK if you work for United Airlines. So, I went back to the customer service desk. The gentleman confirmed that my bag ÔÇ£should be getting on the flightÔÇØ. No shit? I know it SHOULD be, but is it? Oh well, I guess thatÔÇÖs the best they can do.
After all this, the flight was delayed (Ian later told me that he had checked the United website for flight updates and the reason listed for the delay was ÔÇ£crew.ÔÇØ Whatever ÔÇô fuck United, IÔÇÖll never fly with them again). Nobody was told the flight was delayed... it just didn't board. The flight after us boarded, then the one after that. It's 8:30 - the plane was supposed to leave at 8:20 and it hasn't even pulled up to the gate.
I have a day and a half to ride halfway across the country. I don't know if my luggage will make it... I don't even know if I'LL make it... and I've got no support trucks. This could be a bad day, "am we even flying today?" I wondered aloud...
Stay Tuned For More Story.
When it comes to Ryan Jenkins, the story ends with me putting him in the wall.
2009 Speed Triple | 2006 DR-Z400SM | 1999 CBR600F4 | 1998 Jeep Cherokee
-Ginger
2009 Speed Triple | 2006 DR-Z400SM | 1999 CBR600F4 | 1998 Jeep Cherokee
-Ginger
![[Image: pt-cantsing.png]](http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g271/MMRex/Phantom%20Turkey/pt-cantsing.png)
