Electile Dysfunction (Current students plz look!)

[rherold9]

Welp, it looks like the Republicans are going to get a free win again. 

Hillary announced she is running for President

[Goodspeed]

Slick April Fool's, that link is from 2015!

[rherold9]

Slick April Fool's, that link is from 2015!

[Apoc]

Look, I just prefer presidents who don't get captured...in pictures with business owners connected to sex trafficking okay?

Maybe all of her massage parlor business was totally above board and the people who took it over happened to be criminals but where there's smoke, there's usually fire:

Looks like you got your wish - even the new owners were just running a rub and tug.

https://www.businessinsider.com/robert-k...ing-2019-4

[JPolen01]

Looks like you got your wish - even the new owners were just running a rub and tug.

https://www.businessinsider.com/robert-k...ing-2019-4

Another case of incompetent policing. I wonder how much the investigation cost them.

[Eco_Boi_Stephen]

https://www.businessinsider.com/andrew-y...ews-2019-3

Anyone touched on the Yangmeister yet?

[CaptainHenreh]

https://www.businessinsider.com/andrew-y...ews-2019-3

Anyone touched on the Yangmeister yet?

Who can keep up with all the DNC presidential hopefuls? There's enough to field a baseball team.

That said, fuck that guy up the peehole.

[JPolen01]

https://www.businessinsider.com/andrew-y...ews-2019-3

Anyone touched on the Yangmeister yet?

Who can keep up with all the DNC presidential hopefuls? There's enough to field a baseball team.

I came here to say this.

[Eco_Boi_Stephen]

https://www.businessinsider.com/andrew-y...ews-2019-3

Anyone touched on the Yangmeister yet?

Who can keep up with all the DNC presidential hopefuls? There's enough to field a baseball team.

That said, fuck that guy up the peehole.

Yang is pretty interesting doing a major social media push atm

[.RJ]

https://www.businessinsider.com/andrew-y...ews-2019-3

Anyone touched on the Yangmeister yet?

Who can keep up with all the DNC presidential hopefuls? There's enough to field a baseball team.

That said, fuck that guy up the peehole.

How'd the opposite of that work out last time

[G.Irish]

Look, I just prefer presidents who don't get captured...in pictures with business owners connected to sex trafficking okay?

Maybe all of her massage parlor business was totally above board and the people who took it over happened to be criminals but where there's smoke, there's usually fire:

Looks like you got your wish - even the new owners were just running a rub and tug.

https://www.businessinsider.com/robert-k...ing-2019-4

A happy ending for the owners I guess

[CaptainHenreh]

What do you find interesting about him?

[CaptainHenreh]

Man, I totally underestimated the amount of popcorn I would need for this "2020 DNC Candidate" battle royale would require.

I mean Bernie saying the marathon bomber should be able to vote while in prison? Woof. Kamala Harris being like 'fuck yeah, boi!' Double woof. 

Gon' be a good time, y'all. 

Let's play a game. It's called, "Fuck these people, and why, in alphabetical order."*

Republicans: 

• Donald J. Trump: Fuck this guy in 2016, grab him by the ballot and fuck him again in 2020. He's a New York Democrat and the last one of those we had as a two term president threw americans into concentration camps, trampled civil liberties, and invented the world's largest ponzi scheme. So, since DJT is FDR Part Deux, fuck them both. 
  
• Bill Weld: The worst parts of the libertarian party thinks he can run against God Emperor Trump in the primary? Fuck this guy. 
  

Democrats:

• Corey Booker: Blowhard grandstanding douche canoe. See Also: New York Democrat. (Jersey is just store-brand New York.) Also, my friend T-Bone said "fuck that guy."
  
• Pete Buttigieg: "My favorite book is Ulysses by James Joyce." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK JAMES JOYCE, AND FUCK THIS GUY YOU'RE OUT
  
• Julian Castro: Who? Fuck this guy.
  
• John Delaney: Wait, the Peter guy from Deadpool? No? Oh thats ROB Delaney. Then fuck this guy.
  
• Tulsi Gabbard: Well she...I mean but what about the... hrm. 
  
• Kristin Gillibrand: Well IN ADDITION TO NEW YORK DEMOCRAT (i find myself typing this a lot but for real fuck FDR in the ear) She's a flipflopper, and anyone who says "As a mom/dad/podiatrist" can kiss my ass.
  
• Kamala Harris: Well say what you want about her, wait no you can't the police are already at your door oh god hide the dog.
  
• John Hickenlooper: ... is Boring. His track record in colorado isn't great, but he's otherwise fine thus not standing any chance of getting elected.
  
• Jay Enslee: ... is actually a green party candidate, c'mon you guys. 
  
• Amy Klobachar: Be honest, you have no idea who this is, do you? Also, pizza sauce is not a vegetable.
  
• Wayne Messam: THE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU *gets gatoraded*
  
• Seth Moulton: Dude be serious. You seem like an OK guy and all but it's really hard to take you seriously when you basically don't have a platform. 
  
• Robert Francis O'Rourke: Ok, can we talk about this guy for a sec? I'm not gonna talk about his DUI everyone makes mistakes and I'm not gonna talk about his be-anything-you-want-to-be issue stances, and I'm not gonna talk about how he married into huge money but pretends he didn't or that he couldn't beat Ted Cruz but thinks he can beat Donald Trump. No, I wanna talk about Cult of the Dead Cow and how "Beto" was a founding member  holy shit when I was a wee nugget dialing into bbs's and buying issues of 2600 in cash THIS guy was doing some of the things I was reading about and that's really cool and not getting enough press #1 and he's not leveraging that he'd be the most cyber security conscious candidate ON THIS LIST #2, but fuck this guy for all the things  I said I wasn't gonna talk about. Nice run, bruh. Go home. 
  
• Tim Ryan: I look forward to the vice presidential debates between Tim Ryan and Mike Pence, where the dolls-eye stare of both of them hypnotize all the watchers into thinking they are Real Human Beings. 
  
• Bernie Sanders: You know I think the guy means well I really do. And who doesn't love Ben and Jerry's? Everyone loves B&J'. Hand me the Phish Food, me boyo. But he's a dead beat dad but simultaneously a lifetime politician who thinks that terrorists should be able to vote and the answer to our financial problems is to print more money. Fuck this guy.
  
• Eric Swalwell: Nuke this guy.
  
• Elizabeth Warren: So I think calling her Fauxcahontas is pretty inappropes there Mr. POTUS, but also calling yourself a native american and being...not that is definitely worthy of fuck-you-itude. That said, if she can teflon that stuff away I bet she'll be the candidate chosen by the Superdelegates to run, so there's...that.
  
• Marianne Williamson: Honestly? She seems nice. Like, in a very weird hippy way. She's like that Aunt you have that never married but has a ganesha tattoo on her shoulder and wears birkenstocks and skirts no matter how cold it was? Best of luck to you, Aunt Marie.
  
• Andrew Yang: UBI has been tried a bunch and it doesnt' work because it's a dumb idea as long as resource scarcity exists. Which you would KNOW if you paid attention to the very stinkin' field you are in. I would love a candidate that understands how we can continue  to leverage technology to make life better and more rich for everyone, but you aren't it. 
  

Honorable mention:
C
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*holy shit I honestly did not know how many there were when I started this post I actually learned some things. That said, anyone in this field is gonna get slam-dunked into oblivion by the pussy grabber, especially if they continue to pander to their base (who is going to vote for whoever gets the DNC nod anyway) and not reaching out across the aisle to people who maybe voted for Obama but not Hillary, or people who understand how math and markets work.

[Kaan]

well that was entertaining. we need a "shit show" count down... for the 2020 election

[JPolen01]

That was great. Although I am now blind from the wall o' text.

[CaptainHenreh]

well that was entertaining. we need a "shit show" count down... for the 2020 election

If Howard Shultz runs as the Half-Caff Extra Whip Party candidate and does a Perot I think Trump might actually lose in 2020. 


He won't.


But that'd be fun to watch.

---

That was great. Although I am now blind from the wall o' text.

WELL IF THE FUCKING 2020 RACE WASN'T A GODDAM WHERE'S WALDO POSTER IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO READ!

[Jake]

OK Rex, just ignore the significance of Buttigieg even being where he is now, and write him off entirely because you think his favorite book is stupid.

I'm following some of these people (Democrats, because #fuckthegop per usual) with interest but am curious to see if some front-runners will establish themselves soonish.

[CaptainHenreh]

OK Rex, just ignore the significance of Buttigieg even being where he is now, and write him off entirely because you think his favorite book is stupid.

He also thinks a hot dog isn't a sandwich because it's enveloped by bread instead of having bread discretely on the top and bottom WHICH BY THAT DEFINITION A SUBWAY SANDWICH ISN'T A SANDWICH sandwhich I think we can all agree is ABSURD and therefore he is worthy of nothing but our eternal derision. 

MAYBE the candidates I wrote stupid fuckin' shit about are the ones I think are "not all bad"? So I focused on trivial bullshit, you know, for purposes of humor?


edit: Seriously though I know he's dead but fuck james joyce anyway.

[Jake]

OK Rex, just ignore the significance of Buttigieg even being where he is now, and write him off entirely because you think his favorite book is stupid.

He also thinks a hot dog isn't a sandwich because it's enveloped by bread instead of having bread discretely on the top and bottom WHICH BY THAT DEFINITION A SUBWAY SANDWICH ISN'T A SANDWICH sandwhich I think we can all agree is ABSURD and therefore he is worthy of nothing but our eternal derision. 

MAYBE the candidates I wrote stupid fuckin' shit about are the ones I think are "not all bad"? So I focused on trivial bullshit, you know, for purposes of humor?


edit: Seriously though I know he's dead but fuck james joyce anyway.

Cool. Maybe some of us just don't find your brand super amusing?


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[CaptainHenreh]