2001 BMW X5 3.0i - Soft-Roading on the Cheap

[Jake]

I went off-roading in the Shenandoah Valley last year with some friends. We decided to go again this year, but add a Top Gear-esque "challenge" element to it.

Challenge Rules:

• $1500 purchase price. Ish.
  
• All wheel drive required
  
• Vehicle may not be equipped with Low range
  
• No sharing what you bought 'til you arrive in August (Matthew is coming on the trip but we know what each other bought)
  

I've been starting to look around and had cash burning a hole in my sock drawer. I didn't really want a first-gen CR-V or RAV4 as those are the predictable options for the challenge. Talked to a lot of shitty sellers, looked at a few shitty cars, and this X5 popped up on Facebook Marketplace yesterday morning. It is uh, still kind of shitty, but it was in Tyson's Corner and I liked the paint color so that's a start.

Anyway. It's a 2001 X5 with the M54 3.0L I6, paired to a GM (yay!) 5-speed automatic. It has 195k miles and the title I received indicated it last lived in Arlington for an indeterminate period of time. I'm sure it's been whacked in the rear as the tail lights are aftermarket, smoked units and the other lights are stock. It's painted Topaz Blue and has a very gross tan leather-ish interior.

Pros:

• It runs well
  
• The transmission shifts through all five gears on its own
  
• All the windows, door locks, rear hatch, and sunroof work
  
• It is blue and has most of its clearcoat (minus a small spot on the roof)
  
• The tires are all matching and have decent tread remaining - about four years old
  
• It drives well, no real steering slop or front-end slop under braking
  
• Someone installed an "Eonon" Android head unit with USB/Bluetooth and some of the speakers work
  
• It'll do 70 mph and not overheat or otherwise make me worry (for now)
  

Cons:

• The dashboard is a Christmas tree (ABS, DSC, Brake fluid, transmission failsafe, Service Engine Soon)
  
• Although the turn signals, headlights, high beams, hazards all work, the cluster doesn't really tell you about it
  
• It only sometimes knows how to make door chime sounds
  
• Occasionally it doesn't realize you've closed the door or buckled your seatbelt
  
• It's dirty as shit inside
  
• Headliner is falling down a bit in the rear
  
• Headlights are foggy (but can be polished)
  
• The Eonon head unit is impossible to figure out and some of the speakers do not work
  
• Keyless entry remote doesn't work - the door lock cylinder was replaced and a separate key is required to operate the locks
  

I think there are some electrical things going on to trigger much of the dash/cluster panic. I'm borrowing Bralley's code reader tonight to check the SES light for codes. I've discovered XOutpost, which is still very active, and signs point to a failing ignition switch or wheel speed sensor as the cause of the cluster fuckery.