WTF should I buy (A consolidated list of bad decisions)

[Jake]

While I do appreciate the wagons and some of y'all have repped them properly, that just ain't my speed man.  Plus, part of the reason for enjoying bigger vehicles is that I feel a lot safer with how shitty the drivers are around here.  Something that low to the ground just doesn't make sense to me anymore unless it's a dedicated sports car.  Good call on the Land Cruiser gents, I had also looked at those as well as the Lexus LX which I believe is same/same.  I had not however thought about the G-Wagen as a legitimate contender in my price range, as I assumed they were unreliable and beat up / high mileage in my price range.

The "large size" argument makes you sound like you're 100 years old. "I want an American car made of real steel and no seatbelts, so I can be thrown clear!" Everything crashes pretty well these days. Attend one HPDE weekend for $400 and you'll be better off - awareness, better grasp of dynamics/limits, etc all help you avoid a crash in the first place. So, sorry, you want a large car but the safety argument doesn't really justify it given you're not looking at a Miata or something.

G-Wagens are pretty reliable, depending on drivetrain. The 6.3L AMG V8 is known for some head bolt issues but the "lesser" V8s are stout. I think the G500 or G55 are the ones to buy, from what I know. A few friends of mine have them and love 'em, they allegedly drive like tractors with leather seats though. 

+1 to the arguments that if you lease/buy new/buy CPO you'll not have to worry about out-of-warranty BS anyway so why not go German.