11-12-2015, 05:38 PM
Aiight so since Dave has bailed on me for a "keys and handshake pic" I'm gonna lay it to you fuckers straight:
Some dickcheese from central virginia bought this Odyssey. You buy a honda minivan you're a hair touched because in the minivan hierarchy they're pretty much garbage. Like, right above a Quest.
So no. I didn't buy a minivan. Still driving a Prius. Still have had a frickin' stable of high performance automobiles none of which fit in my life very well right now. For 10 years I spent a weekend a month at the track surrounded by tire smoke and race fuel but the minute I buy the vehicle that best suits my needs, I hear nothing but shit for it. Which, whatever, but it's annoying as hell: You think I want to drive this escape pod hybrid piece of bullshit hippie trash to work every day? No. No I fucking do NOT. If I had my druthers I'd have a E63 wagon or a CTS-V or some other piece of equally ridiculous tire-shredding jackenapery but unless one of YOU motherfuckers is offering to pay my car payment and insurance I'm just gonna get in my toyota and drive to work with my daughter in the back seat and my gym bag in the hatch and I'm gonna like it as much as I can.
God, you petty judgemental asscunts. What if I'd actually needed to buy this? Shit, what if I were in kind of an awkward situation, you motherfuckers gonna make a bad situation even fucking worse by busting my nuts about it. "Herpa derp Rex bought a minivan" would be the new bullshit 'harlem shake' for you guys to toss on me but really think about that for a minute: Ain't no motherfucker on planet earth bought a minivan if he didn't NEED to (jeff excluded) and if I really NEEDED to, you think the shit I want to hear from my friends and associates is any fuckin' post that's been made in this thread? No it is not.
Look, my life isn't easy. I'm a grown ass man with grown ass problems. They're real and they're here today and I do my best to squash them if I can, manage them if I can't, and pretend they don't exist if those two fail. I won't outline the list but I have a whole pile of grownup bullshit to deal with. Shit that is hard and real and right now it predicates driving a goddam Prius. Maybe one day it'll require me driving a goddam minivan (but I hope a Flex, please laird jaysus.) and if that day comes where a Minivan is the best decision I can make for me and my family I will fucking make it and expect all y'all to shut your whore mouths.
Some dickcheese from central virginia bought this Odyssey. You buy a honda minivan you're a hair touched because in the minivan hierarchy they're pretty much garbage. Like, right above a Quest.
So no. I didn't buy a minivan. Still driving a Prius. Still have had a frickin' stable of high performance automobiles none of which fit in my life very well right now. For 10 years I spent a weekend a month at the track surrounded by tire smoke and race fuel but the minute I buy the vehicle that best suits my needs, I hear nothing but shit for it. Which, whatever, but it's annoying as hell: You think I want to drive this escape pod hybrid piece of bullshit hippie trash to work every day? No. No I fucking do NOT. If I had my druthers I'd have a E63 wagon or a CTS-V or some other piece of equally ridiculous tire-shredding jackenapery but unless one of YOU motherfuckers is offering to pay my car payment and insurance I'm just gonna get in my toyota and drive to work with my daughter in the back seat and my gym bag in the hatch and I'm gonna like it as much as I can.
God, you petty judgemental asscunts. What if I'd actually needed to buy this? Shit, what if I were in kind of an awkward situation, you motherfuckers gonna make a bad situation even fucking worse by busting my nuts about it. "Herpa derp Rex bought a minivan" would be the new bullshit 'harlem shake' for you guys to toss on me but really think about that for a minute: Ain't no motherfucker on planet earth bought a minivan if he didn't NEED to (jeff excluded) and if I really NEEDED to, you think the shit I want to hear from my friends and associates is any fuckin' post that's been made in this thread? No it is not.
Look, my life isn't easy. I'm a grown ass man with grown ass problems. They're real and they're here today and I do my best to squash them if I can, manage them if I can't, and pretend they don't exist if those two fail. I won't outline the list but I have a whole pile of grownup bullshit to deal with. Shit that is hard and real and right now it predicates driving a goddam Prius. Maybe one day it'll require me driving a goddam minivan (but I hope a Flex, please laird jaysus.) and if that day comes where a Minivan is the best decision I can make for me and my family I will fucking make it and expect all y'all to shut your whore mouths.
1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442