Montreal Blue 1996 BMW 328is

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tldr: Thank you joaquin, dave, salar, jake, joey and dj. You all have helped greatly.The head is off. Going to machine shop tomorrow as soon as i can get it there and lots of pics.

Now for the long story

So this was actually not that bad. The biggest problems I encountered was just making sure everything was actually removed from the head and then the order in which to actually remove the sprockets/timing guides/chain etc. Like Jake has said, it really is just a big bunch of legos....a set of legos that i just scattered all over the engine bay, which I'm gonna have a grand time putting back together :oops:

I also ended up taking out the cams lol. Okay, MAYBE you all were right and its not bad at all. I was just so worried. Joaquin recommended that I pray prior to pulling the cam caps. I took him so seriously I paused to text my mom (the one who actually goes to church) and told her to pray for me :lol: I very gingerly pulled the bolts. Half turn? To hell with that noise, quarter turn! It probably took me twenty minutes each cam to pull them out.

Oh the real fun part was pulling the drain plug to let the coolant out from the block. I positioned the drain pan underneath where it would fall but uhh there was SO MUCH!! I was like shit....We made a coolant river as dave called it haha

This is where the going got interesting. So its time to pull the head and Joaquin and I are trying to just pry it up but nothing. So I took the chain side (the front) since I was gonna need to watch the timing chain guide and Joaquin took it from the passenger side. Pulling, pulling, pulling and nothing. Fuck it. I knock my shoes off and hop up on the front of the car. Right foot on the front cross bar, left foot on the passenger fender, freaking spiderman squatting over the head right now.

Perfect. I've got mad leverage in this position. I heave (and only once!) and POP, whole thing jumps right up at me. I instantly start thinking about the timing guides are I swear I've broken to smithereens now. The next few moments were so frantic because the head is heavy, the chain is stuck in the space its supposed to pass through, I'm freaking out about the guides, Joaquin is trying to move shit, I'm trying to move shit. Whew. So we rested the far side of the head down and we had to undo the zipties we already set up (wouldn't fit through the head). Then i'm balancing the head on the back of my hand, while gripping the chain to its death so it doesn't slip, and Joaquin is looking for a flathead to pull the tensioner out the way. The tensioner kept pushing on the sprocket+chain jamming it to the head. So I'm holding the head up + the chain and trying to weave it down though the head while joaquin has this massive pressure on the tensioner pulling the whole head away from me. Holy shit. Lol, i don't even know how to explain what a hot mess it was. Eventually we somehow get it through, while playing this one handed balancing act with the head. Then we re-ziptied the chain to the sprocket and pulled the head away. Good lord. That was a moment.

There's definitely more I could report but I don't feel like writing it. It can be summed up with: jesus christ why do i have to remove so much shit just to take off the head?! - and - Dude, i don't know man, i don't wanna break the cams, do i just do it!? What happens when I move this one things is it gonna break?!

So! How do i know if I ruined my guides? haha. Nothing looks broken and it seems fine but I don't know what its supposed to be like. The tensioner isn't on it, so the lower guide just moves back and forth freely. That's normal right? please say it is lol. Look at the pics and tell me what you guys think. Anything you see in the pics please comment on. Also, is it okay that i just left the head exposed like in the pictures? I put the hood back over but thats it.

Do you guys know how to finish up the SAP delete? I got everything out I just need to figure out what to do with the open holes in the head now haha.

Pictuuuurrreeeeesssss








This is how the chain is held up right now. Its staying in this position. I ran the zipties around something I can't remember out of view.














We did it! Getting it off at least....












It was extremely cool seeing inside my own engine. Like..really really cool. It's my first time seeing this far in a car and even though I would have preferred to not do this, its kind of awesome tbh.

I don't know what I would do without MM, you guys are all awesome. Round 2, reassembly, should hopefully be started next monday! Until then, cleaning!