WTB: Grown-up Car

[SlimKlim]

Idk if anyone has said this, but why not E39 M5? You can get a clean one for under $20k, with lots of room left in the budget to put up with its finicky bullshit and get some nifty mods. They have android based headunits called Dynavin's and aftermarket, completely keyless entry systems that will effectively bring it into this decade features-wise. 5.0L V8, 6speed, 400hp and panty-droppin' looks. Errybody loves an E39.

Yes, please tell me why not! Ive seen all the "be careful with those..." but I need someone to convince me why these are terrible ideas... WAY too tempting.

Well, the VANOS will fail. Not it might, not some-of-them-fail-so-I'm-extrapolating-and-saying-they-all-go, there is a 100% chance it will fail at some point during the life of the motor. Most likely between 100-150k, if not before. The good news is it can be rebuilt at home for $250. I was nervous about tackling mine, but it actually turned out to be one of the most "fun" projects I've done on the car. Variable timing is pretty cool shit, even the miserably unreliable BMW design, so I liked getting to take it apart and understand how it actually functions. Granted, I only had to do it once because I have a 6 cylinder.

Otherwise, I've heard, anecdotally, that they can consume a lot of oil, but the general consensus is that the motors are built loose and its nothing to worry about. They can also be pretty hard on clutches from what I hear, but I don't know if that's "So I was doing this burnout when suddenly...." or "I drove it to work from 0-50k miles and one day had no clutch." I'd imagine the clutch for that big bastard would NOT be fun to pay for, but it could be done at home with an extra jack and some willing friends to help drop the trans.

Other than that I haven't heard of any significant issues with them. Its an old BMW so little shit is going to pop up. As with any 12 year old car, all of the bushings will need attention if the previous owner hasn't already done it. Front suspension, rear suspension, bushings in the driveshaft, shifter bushings and possibly the diff bushings. For what it's worth my car has had a noticeable tear in the driveshaft bushing (giubo) for the past 50k miles, and who knows how old the diff bushings are, its been fine and I'm not driving that easy.

Mechanically, the cooling systems are an issue but if you upgrade the "bad" parts when they fail it becomes a non issue. An all aluminum radiator and water pump with a metal impellor does wonders. Then you might run into knock sensors, o2 sensors, bad coils or a bad MAF at some point, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. My knock sensors gave out at like 170k, so you can hardly blame them. My o2 sensors are still good, I've never had a MAF failure even running the forbidden K&N intake, and the first set of coils died because I'm an idiot and let them get soaked in oil, and my second set of coils went because I'm an idiot and bought the shitty aftermarket ones to replace the first batch. Brakes would also be expensive because its an M5 and the rotors are huuuuge.

The E39s also have this weird, quasi-common issue with the ABS controller. Which seems like an issue with a lot of vehicles, not just BMWs. Lauren's failed and the shop wanted like $3k+ to replace it. I found a place in Tennessee that rebuilds the existing unit for $160 with a lifetime warranty and its been fine ever since. As far as the interior goes window regulators, window clips, climate control buttons will fall off, pixels in the display will go out, etc.

Like most BMW's all the "important" stuff like the motor and trans are absolute bombproof, so it will always drag you home no matter what. The little stuff can add up, but as long as you're prepared for it and have it budgeted, I can't imagine it would drive you to ruin. Its a hell of a lot of car for the money, especially if you can find one that's had a majority of the stuff I just brain-vomited taken care of. Speaking of which, I know waaaaaaaaaaay too much about old bimmers.