I wish I could punish lowballers

[G.Irish]

In any auto enthusiast's life, there comes a time to sell a vehicle. Inevitably when you sell a vehicle on the internet, you get some jackass who gives you some ridiculous lowball offer that is way lower than you would ever accept. Most of the time I just send a polite reply, "I cannot accept an offer that low".

But sometimes it just enrages me. I wish I could say, "Sure, why don't you come see it," then tase the fuck out of them while yelling, "YOU THINK CRAIGSLIST IS FUCKING GAME MOTHERFUCKER?!!" Or maybe I could invite them on a test drive after I've gorged on burritos and just fart my ass off in the car. Or maybe if I had an extremely mean dog I just have the dog on a leash in the garage going ape shit while I talk to the lowballer, "Yeah they told me I'd have to put him down if he maimed someone else, but I've got a good lawyer, I could probably beat the rap."

If nothing else, I wish they would put a feature in the next GTA where you could sell your cars and have characters in game lowball you. Then you could run them over when the come to look at the car and take their money.

[D_Eclipse9916]

So....you wont take $5k for your wrx?

[.RJ]

But I'm a poor college student and I only have $5k I'm trying to work with you here and I can throw in a macbook in trade too

[G.Irish]

See, what can I legally do to that guy? I can't realistically tase him? There has to be some way we can all make lowballers miserable for their crimes right? Maybe some way of scamming them into wasting a bunch of their time?

[.RJ]

Maybe some way of scamming them into wasting a bunch of their time?

Arrange a meeting place/time, change it at the last minute, and never show up :lol:

[Apoc]

Ask for his phone number so you can contact him and then sign him up for spam texts.

[HAULN-SS]

Im pretty sure trolling him to the point that he actually thinks hes going to buy the car at least 3 times would be pretty satisfying. This works best if your excuses are ridiculously silly...ramble on about a space mining operating or something that needed your attention

[SlimKlim]

Ask for his phone number so you can contact him and then sign him up for spam texts.

(1/2)Hello fellow cat facts lover! Welcome to your subscription of fascinating cat facts, every hour, on the hour! Did you know research has

(2/3)suggested that the frequency of the vibration produced by purring may promote healing of bones and organs in cats, explaining why cats may purr when hurt?

(3/3)To stop your hourly cat facts subscription, simply differentiate and respond with the solution!

[BLINGMW]

...ramble on about a space mining operating or something that needed your attention

I like

I have to say though, I do not share the same hatred for the lowballer. I mean, it takes 10 seconds of your time to respond with a "no thanks". What has he really taken from you? If you take WAY more time than he took, to waste more than 10 seconds of his... aren't... YOU.... the bad guy?

How about the people that respond with texts? I HOPE this is a bot that responded to my $50 old-ass laptop on CL:

Text #1) 5408181125
Laptop
{*BABY GIRL*}

Text #2 days later) 5408181125
LAPTOP DELL $50

Feel free to text him back. :dunno:

[NTIman]

Ask for his phone number so you can contact him and then sign him up for spam texts.

(1/2)Hello fellow cat facts lover! Welcome to your subscription of fascinating cat facts, every hour, on the hour! Did you know research has

(2/3)suggested that the frequency of the vibration produced by purring may promote healing of bones and organs in cats, explaining why cats may purr when hurt?

(3/3)To stop your hourly cat facts subscription, simply differentiate and respond with the solution!

Or find a gay porn casting agency and send them his name and number.

[G.Irish]

...ramble on about a space mining operating or something that needed your attention

I like

I have to say though, I do not share the same hatred for the lowballer. I mean, it takes 10 seconds of your time to respond with a "no thanks". What has he really taken from you? If you take WAY more time than he took, to waste more than 10 seconds of his... aren't... YOU.... the bad guy?

He has taken away a little bit of my hope for humanity. I think of people that think they're hustling by wasting other people's time with lowball offers but are really just idiots.

It's true that it only wastes like 10 seconds of my time. I's like spam, but more in your face. Like spam spitting in your face.

I realize it is irrational. Normally I don't get bothered by it. But since I'm selling two vehicles at once I think it's irritating me much more.

[ViPER1313]

People do it because it works a pretty large percent of the time - for the right items.... Where people become idiots is when they low ball on the wrong items or way too low on expensive items. No one is going to sell a $10000 car for $5000, but a lot of people will sell a $2000 car for $1000. No one is going to take 1/2 price on an Iphone.... a lot of people will sell used car parts at 1/2 asking price . I definitely feel your pain though.