Open Letter to the Hooters in Peoria, Illinois

Open Letter to the Hooters in Peoria, Illinois - Printable Version

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Open Letter to the Hooters in Peoria, Illinois - CaptainHenreh - 07-06-2005

Ladies,

I understand that two in the afternoon on a random Tuesday probably isn't you're most popular shift, and I understand that those people working such a shift might not be the most excited individuals about working it.

However, I would like to clarify a few things.

#1, Your spinal column, no matter what Cosmopolitan or whatever shit you read these days might tell you, is not in any way sexy. I do not want to see, under any circumstances, your individual vertebrae.

#2, Eat a sandwich. Seriously. You look like a white Sudanese refugee. If I took a stick, put a sock on it, and made the stick magically come to life, it would probably say something along the lines of "Damn, bitch! You ass is skinny!" Also, see #1. You look like a malnourished bullfrog in orange daisy dukes.

#3, When my eyes are glued to MotoGP and my buffalo chicken sandwich is half eaten in my hands, yes, everything is just fine. You can go away. What I want to see is Rossi take a loss through a turn so someone else can win for a change, I do not want to see your skinny ass attempting (in vain) to shove your non-existant mammaries in my face. Maybe that works for the Caterpillar engineers, but don't get between me and the TV. At least stand to the side so I can more comfortably ignore you.

#4, No, I don't want any cheesecake. But, I'll buy an entire cheesecake if you stand here and eat it in front of me.

#5, Change your hotness scale. Instead of mild, medium, and hot; maybe changey them to Change of Color, Way to be a Pussy, and Maybe a Little Flavor (If You're Lucky).

I should have gone to Bennigans.

- bassmangrammy - 07-06-2005

hmmmm....wtf? I'm just alittle confused rex.

- JackoliciousLegs - 07-06-2005

damn right! Hooters is worthless

- .RJ - 07-06-2005

JackoliciousLegs Wrote:damn right! Hooters is worthless

:?:

Re: Open Letter to the Hooters in Peoria, Illinois - ScottyB - 07-06-2005

CaptainHenreh Wrote:#4, No, I don't want any cheesecake. But, I'll buy an entire cheesecake if you stand here and eat it in front of me.

hahahaha

- Myuki - 07-06-2005

For all the hooters I've been to, I've only seen a few people like that. But, then again, Richmond isn't exactly the best place for a Hooters.

- Mike - 07-06-2005

<--- never been impressed at a hooters

- 83Rabbit - 07-06-2005

HAHAHAHAHA

- Evan - 07-06-2005

Ill never forget the crosseyed hooters waitress in rockville who kept throwing her tits on the table and complained how her boyfriend just dumped her with a text message. (which I then laughed and told her that was awesome)

overall though, usually their problem is quite the opposite of being too skinny..... Confused

hock:

- bassmangrammy - 07-06-2005

Yeah...I was at a hooters in baltimore, inner harbor....wieght can be changed...ie john basssssssstowl (fitness made annoying)....but IQ cannot be changed...them bitches are stuuuuuupid.

- Maengelito - 07-07-2005

Mike Wrote:<--- never been impressed at a hooters

neither have i. their food sucks and i can look at tits on any waitress in cville which will be almost as good. not to say that cville has hot waitresses, but hooters girls arent all that.

- HAULN-SS - 07-08-2005

I was on a Hooters 737 one time. They were hot as hell. Got a special hooters magazine that has some hot ones in it too.

- G.Irish - 07-08-2005

Evan Wrote:overall though, usually their problem is quite the opposite of being too skinny..... hock:

Yeah Evan likes his girls emaciated :lol:

Hooters is really like any other restaurant in terms of hot waitresses...it depends on the city. The girls at the Hooters in Whorelando were bangin' but the ones in some other cities were just 'eh'. Anyway, the umbrella girls at Moto GP have not disappointed...

- bassmangrammy - 07-09-2005

[Image: hooters.jpg]