The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebaggery

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The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebaggery - Printable Version

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Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 02-21-2012

Next Update: If you own a BMW with VANOS that you would consider "high mileage" and you're trying to fix the car up, you need to rebuild the VANOS system. Its certainly not the quickest or easiest service to perform, and you need a lot of tools, but the ROI for your money/time can't be beat IMO.

I'll do this part first since this is what most people will be interested in. Impressions after repair:

Could not be a happier camper. It fixed so many things that I didn't even realize were problems, I had just taken them in stride as quirks of the car. It used to be really weird about letting the clutch out. If it caught the throttle weird the motor would stutter and you'd have to do a little half-doubleclutch maneuver, that's all gone. It used to idle smoother than Ryan Gosling picking up a drunk girl but it would occasionally throw out a random fart or hiccup, like a drunk girl. That's all gone.

Here's the big one, the clattery, shitty rattly sound it used to make when letting off the throttle around 2k is completely gone, it just sounds like... an engine. So weird. I also swear it upshifts smoother, maybe its just the placebo effect but the transition into the next gear feels much smoother now.

The kit says it takes about ~200 miles to break in the new seals before its up to optimal performance and I've only driven about 20. I'm trying not to flog on it too much but the motor does seem like it has more torque. After it's had a chance to break in, I'll give it the beans and see how the powerband has changed.

Now the rest of this crap might be interesting to other BMW-afflicted members but the rest of you don't have to burden yourselves.

Crap I needed:
I bought the Beisan Systems rattle and seal repair "kit" I say "kit" because an o-ring, teflon seal and machined bearing doesn't really constitute a $65 kit, but no one asked me.

Total cost for the project for me was:
$65 for the kit
$40ish for the new valve cover gasket, valve cover bolt washer/gasket thingies, and a new VANOS gasket
$20 for the modified socket (worth it, you DO NOT want to go shredding up the cap on the vanos piston) and vise liners (also worth it)
$140 at Sears (If you have all the necessary tools you can skip this part, I was just overdue to replace some missing sockets and rachets and I had to pick up a smaller torque wrench)
Finally I borrowed the cam locking blocks, cam turning tool, and flywheel locking pin, and I used a small allen key in lieu of the actual BMW timing chain tensioner pin. If you can't borrow them some guy is selling them on eBay for $110.

So, if you've got a full set of tools and can borrow the BMW tools, it'll cost about $125, anything beyond that just depends on what's at your disposal.

Procedure:
I used the guides provided by Beisan to gather tools and walk me through the process. I only deviated in a few areas, for one I just left the front of the car jacked up all weekend instead of going back and forth, and they wanted me to pretzel my expansion tank and fan shroud up on top of the motor so I just removed the stupid thing.

http://www.beisansystems.com/procedures/vanos_single_procedure.htm
http://www.beisansystems.com/procedures/single_vanos_rattle_procedure.htm

I was planning to do this Friday afternoon and Saturday but I caught a stomach bug and didn't surface until Sunday. I started at 12 on Sunday and a little before 4 I had the unit completely out and was over in Kaan's garage to borrow his vise and break a few of his tools. Big Grin

With his helpful supervision I broke down the piston and replaced the inner bearing. Then we moved the party to my kitchen table so I could get the teflon seal above balls-cold fahrenheit to actually install it.

Sunday morning I went back out around 11 and reseated the piston, spent what seemed like 8 hours scraping off the god awful OEM paper vanos gasket, and then went about my merry way putting my engine back together. I was back inside by 3ish. It could absolutely be done in one day if I didn't have a garage, I'd have just had to start earlier in the day. One warning I have is DO NOT start this project without finding a bench mounted vise you can take the piston too. You'll never get that slippery little thing cracked open to replace the inner bearing and thats what causes all the rattling at low rpms.

Next Steps:
-Wrapping my new headers this week, hopefully installing them with DJ this weekend.
-Front end links and steering rack bushing (trying to chase the rest of the slop out of the wheel)

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - D_Eclipse9916 - 02-21-2012

Cool, any way I can borrow the tools, I do not have them. I would love to do this, even though I think mine are still good.

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 02-21-2012

I can ask my buddy I borrowed them from, I'm sure he'd be fine with it.

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - Kaan - 02-21-2012

<3 i didnt need that torques bit anyway.

glad it went back together nice and "easy." i was waiting for the phone call though. Smile

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 02-21-2012

Kaan Wrote:<3 i didnt need that torques bit anyway.

glad it went back together nice and "easy." i was waiting for the phone call though.

I feel like next time I call you you're going to answer "Yes, I'm home, yes, come over, yes, I have that" :lol:

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - Kaan - 02-21-2012

SlimKlim Wrote:
Kaan Wrote:<3 i didnt need that torques bit anyway.

glad it went back together nice and "easy." i was waiting for the phone call though.

I feel like next time I call you you're going to answer "Yes, I'm home, yes, come over, yes, I have that" :lol:

its pretty safe to assume i have whatever tool it is. i was going to clean up the work bench a little and decided not to do so because my tool box is FULL. its going to take too much work. but you guys are always welcome to borrow whatever. Smile

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - Sully - 02-21-2012

I also need to do this at some point in the near future and should probably take a look at my icv as well. Possibly over the summer, I will do a proper m50 install, icv, vanos, and any other motor related work.

Great post though, glad to see all the M's are getting back to their peak operating level

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 02-21-2012

Sully Wrote:I also need to do this at some point in the near future and should probably take a look at my icv as well. Possibly over the summer, I will do a proper m50 install, icv, vanos, and any other motor related work.

Great post though, glad to see all the M's are getting back to their peak operating level

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Add knock sensors if you're taking the manifold off and going after the ICV. They all fail at some point and there's only one way to get in there.

I definitely noticed an improvement in idle from cleaning the ICV, and that was a considerably lower effort than the VANOS. I got briefly obsessed with getting my motor to sound and act 100% right and *knock on wood* if I'm not there I'm goddamn close.

Just ordered front end links, steering column bushing thingy, a VANOS gasket for DJs car and some earl line washers. I wonder how much money I've spent at Pelican in the past 4 years....

No I dont. :vomit:

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - Sully - 02-21-2012

Forget about those, yes knock sensors as well.

One of these days, I'm going to stop being lazy and compile all my receipts into a database like I keep saying I'm going to do

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - D_Eclipse9916 - 02-21-2012

Sully Wrote:Forget about those, yes knock sensors as well.

One of these days, I'm going to stop being lazy and compile all my receipts into a database like I keep saying I'm going to do

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Do not. Bad idea :lol:

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 02-25-2012

Sealed these up this morning. Smile

Headed over to DJs this afternoon to install them. Big Grin

Stumbled across this picture from doing my VANOS last weekend,

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And the drift car the guy that had the engine tools I borrowed was working on.

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Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 03-08-2012

So last weekend I my headers started trying to play whack-a-mole with the O2 sensor plugs. Since my car doesn't have the pre-cat sensors, they used an M18x1.5 bolt to plug it. The pressure and heat made them want to stay in about as much as a cat wants to stay in a bath. I went through a saga of trying to seal them up with loctite, but long story short, here's what I ended up doing.

Sunday morning I put the front of the car back on jacks and teased the plugs out of the headers. The red loctite was still holding on pretty good but did eventually come loose after driving the car twice, which confirmed that that solution never would have lasted. Then Kaan helped me safety wire the little bastards on. Overkill? Probably, but I can be reasonably certain they aren't going anywhere.

[Image: OfuNk.jpg]

Going back to Saturday morning, I threw in a new pair of end links. The right one was in decent condition but the left one (pictured below) was shot.

[Image: 1RXLk.jpg]

Now the tie-rods are the only thing on the front end that need immediate replacement. I'm thinking about ordering the RTAB reinforcement kit and doing both of those next weekend so I can get an alignment on Monday morning and put my suspension stuff to bed for a while.

I only think its fair to air my dirty laundry as well as the clean. Here's my super, super, super ghetto attempt to make my clamps stop rattling.

[Image: cMeBm.jpg]

It held up for about a day but it's already starting to rattle again. I've got those NAPA clamps on the way though (allegedly) and should be able to fix it soon.

Also, this little guy showed up at my doorstep lost and cold last night, so I put him in the car to stay warm. 8)

[Image: eTyKF.jpg]

I have to order the correct switch bracket for it, but its a $10 part. In the meantime I just broke the crap out of the old one to make the wheel turn. You can get the little airbag thing in silver as well as black, and its $10, so I think I'll get it to match the pedals and the trim ring on the knob.

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - D_Eclipse9916 - 03-08-2012

Nice wheel!

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - ScottyB - 03-08-2012

that wheel is Tits McGee. airbag still work or deleted at this point?

love the safety wire. i never would have thought of that. don't worry about the ghetto fix, its on the underside of the car, nobody will see it :lol:

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - Ken - 03-08-2012

like the wheel! Surprised it took you so long to get it, you had been talking about that fix FOREVER.

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 03-08-2012

Thanks. Big Grin

The airbag works, that's why I wanted to get this exact wheel. It was originally a put in the Euro sports package and some M cars. It only hit the US market for a few of the really late E36s and then the early E46s. They have an M-Tech II non-airbag with a round center that I think I like the styling of a little more, but I really wanted to keep the airbag.

This exact wheel never came in a configuration like this, it was cooked up by the crazy German craftsman that re-wrapped it. Its a stock euro 3 spoke, with a pad wrapped around it to thicken it to be similar to the E46 M steering wheel. It's got the M tri-stitching that all the M cars come with (which was unbelievably soiled and falling out of my old one), and it has thumb tabs in the same shape/position as the late US market 3-spokes like the one DJs car came with. It's also got the perforated/regular leather pattern of the late performance pack E46 3-series and maybe the competition pack E46 Ms?

So its definitely not stock, but it takes the best OEM features from all those cars and mixes them together. I paid like estupido money for the thing, and shipping from Germany is insane, but I figured I'm in this car for the long haul, and the only part of I see up close when I'm driving it is the steering wheel, so what the hell.

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 09-19-2012

Mmk, guess its my turn to recover from Webopcalypse '12. I'm going to copy some stuff over from my other project thread on bimmerfest, and add whatever else I can remember, because I completely suck at keeping that one updated too.

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****

Ugh, I'm bad at keeping this thread updated. (See what I mean?)

Short version of the past few weeks. I rewired the angel eyes to get their own power and switch on with the interior lights and accessory lights. I added a switch next to the cig lighter that kills the acc trigger, then I can switch off the interior lights to prevent them from coming on. Not an ideal setup but its really only for when I'm working on the car and don't want the lights on all the time. I've probably tied up a few other loose ends but I can't remember what.

I took last friday off and detailed the snot out of it for the MM car show at JMU last weekend. The show itself wasn't that great (high hopes for next year!) but the guys in the club are my closest IRL car friends and since they last saw the car it has new: brakes, suspension, wheels, tires, a good polish, paint touchups, headers and probably more crap.

For the detail I removed the wheels and cleaned the barrels. Cleaned inside the front fenders, cleaned the brakes and suspension. The paint has a fresh coat of sealant so I just washed the outside, cleaned the jambs, degreased the underhood and fine tuned the engine bay (cleaned most of it a few weeks ago). I also leatheriqued the seats (gonna do another treatment this weekend I think) and they responded really well.

[Image: 527907_10100538388586829_7813679_5252050...5149_n.jpg]

[Image: 527907_10100538388586829_7813679_5252050...5149_n.jpg]

Met Jesse (B1MM3R) at the show, great guy and his car is badass. :thumbup:

[Image: 69mgv.jpg]

And my goofy ass with my parent's new puppy:
[Image: 581568_10150837853597489_513042488_12186...4623_n.jpg]

[Image: 525564_10150837857807489_513042488_12186...1658_n.jpg]

Two things happened on the way home from the show. 1.) My steering wheel started squeaking. Loud. Like nails on a chalkboard through a loud speaker loud. It set your teeth on edge and made being in the car excruciating.

2.) We were about 2-3 car lengths back from a semi truck when he blew a tire. Shreds of rubber went every where, and some really big pieces got hail mary-ed way up into the air. Thanks to some race car brake pads I was able to get us out of the immediate blast zone, and we only lost the bumper grill and got some beauty marks.

[Image: 3hHQE.jpg]

I've gotten most of the rubber marks off, and I got a replacement grill for free, I just need to find a way to stick it in there without those little tabs.

Last night I pulled the wheel to try and track down the noise. It ended up being the steering wheel lock scraping against the back of the clockspring. A healthy dose of copper grease patched it right up. Smile

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 09-19-2012

A few weeks after the car show, my cooling system decided to start going out on me. I replaced the culprit hose, which simply got another one leaking. If you know E36s, you know its time for a radiator/hose refresh (my water pump has a metal impeller already and my thermostat is doing ok, or I would've replaced them as well).

First I detailed a Z4 for my co-worker, he thought I was just painting the grilles for him, so bringing it back looking like this had him grinning for a week.

[Image: O8uRhh.jpg]

Anyway:

All the supplies. I'm using peak coolant as it's allegedly one of the acceptable substitutes for the BMW branded stuff. I'm also using distilled water instead of tap water like I used to, and I'm going to add water wetter, which helps reduce running temps and further reduce the risk of corrosion.

[Image: KflYEh.jpg]

Looks like the radiator was the source of my leak. The plastic on these things only lasts for a few years before it gets brittle, I'm lucky it started leaking instead of just exploding.

[Image: Fd75x.jpg]

BMW decided the best place for the coolant drain plug for the block was right between the headers. That's all fine and good, but I have long tube headers with fiberglass wrap to keep underhood temps town, and I really don't want to smell pancakes for the next 3 months.

[Image: pfzKM.jpg]

I shoved a trashbag in there to hopefully keep the majority out of the wrap.

[Image: bFU56h.jpg]

My trash bag doubled as a funnel, so draining from the block turned out to be surprisingly tidy. Don't worry though, plenty more messes were made.

[Image: 8ik6Ih.jpg]

Fan clutch pulled using the specialty BMW tools. Its possible to pull it without the tool, but extremely frustrating.

[Image: kRYAPh.jpg]

Extremely delicate OEM radiator clamp that I wasn't smart enough to order replacements for. This one surived being uninstalled.

[Image: DV9O6h.jpg]

This one did not.

[Image: BC8xQh.jpg]

..wait so who makes this thing again?

[Image: ahvZ0.jpg]

Started going over the radiator, looking for differences from the OEM one. The shroud tabs are a little bent, so I straightened them out.

[Image: eZsXF.jpg]

Swapped over the bushing from the OEM shroud, the holes on the new radiator are way too big for them, doesn't bode well for working with the remaining OEM clamp.

[Image: CqXqmh.jpg]

Used the old radiator to get the main thermostat hoses at about the right angle.

[Image: qmNI5.jpg]

Found a cracked hose on one of the vacuum lines that goes into the throttle boot post-MAF. Since I didn't have a replacement at the ready its time for a little DIY-engineering.

[Image: XuQlJ.jpg]

Gooped some RTV around the fitting and then used a spare hose clamp to lightly snug it up, creating an airtight seal when the RTV dries. Should last until next time I'm in there no problem.

[Image: adsfI.jpg]

I actually decided not to replace the "main cooling hose" which is this complicated 4 way contraption that runs from the front of the block to the heater core and has vacuum lines that seem to run to the throttle body or something. Accessing it without removing the intake manifold is near impossible, and pulling and replacing the manifold is a 4 hour job that requires banging the delicate (and expensive) fuel injectors every which way.

A thorough inspection showed everything around that hose was dusty dry, so I opted to add that hose to my collection of new OEM parts for a later day.

Dropped the radiator in and thought it didn't fit, then just realized I forgot these little guys. They are bushings to hold the bottom of the radiator in place in its mount.

[Image: PpVSph.jpg]

And the 2nd clamp goes down. Sigh.

[Image: yB3gbh.jpg]

Its not a project if you don't use a dremel at some point. The overall width of the cooling fins on this radiator are a bit narrower than the stock one, and the shroud mounts too high. I cut down the tabs and cut one side of the shroud off so that it mounts flat to the radiator and the expansion tank wouldn't be 2 inches too high.

[Image: wLnlp.jpg]

"If it looks stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid." In lieu of an actual clamp, I cooked up a chain of zipties to hold the top of the radiator to the frame. They aren't supporting much weight since the radiator sits in the lower mount, this just keeps it from tipping back and hitting the fan.

I won't leave it like this for too long, I'll either get (and modify) new OEM clamps to work with this radiator, or if I get lucky I can find some more durable ones meant for an all aluminum rad.

[Image: 7AtAth.jpg]

Intake and plastics reinstalled. Started refilling the cooling system. I started with 1 gallon of distilled water and added one gallon of coolant. Then I used the empty containers to mix the remaining coolant and water for two pre-mixed gallons.

Before I started the car up and bled the coolant down, I also changed the engine and differential oil. Not much to photograph there though.

[Image: uafuTh.jpg]

The diff change was over due. Also, Easy Open Seal my ass.

[Image: NczrFh.jpg]

Turned out to be a pretty messy job. The old oil smells like burnt parmesan cheese, and a ton of the new oil spilled out of the pump when going back in. Its also about as thick as you'd imagine a 75W-90 oil would be, and covers everything it touches in a thick film.

[Image: xrhIn.jpg]

Upper one is the level plug, lower is the drain. You pump fluid into the level plug until it starts to run out like so, then plug it up.

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 09-19-2012

My car came from the factory with the black "Vader" seats. People are crazy about the things, and they do look cool, but that's really about it. The bolsters are way too far apart for anyone who could be considered skinny, the headrest is completely non-functional, and my particular set had 16 years of absolutely zero care or attention, and the driver's lower back was shaped like a C.

I could've replaced them with a mint set, but because they are so popular with enthusiasts (particularly black ones) I would be looking at $1200+, and still had no bolsters or headrests. Instead I went for a set of E46 M seats I was able to get in above average condition for $500. They also have heat, lumbar support, and adjustable bolsters. 8)

However, this means I have to run power to the seats, time to party.

Label your wires!

[Image: PFXpRh.jpg]

I like to take a few minutes to do this, pouring over wiring diagrams requires most of my brainpower, and stopping to squint at one while wrestling with a 90lb seat is never fun.

The seats I got had the later style E46 connector, which was one monster 24 pin connector that ran all the wiring to the seat. However, you can disassemble the connector and it falls apart into several different plugs, and becomes much easier to work with.

Here's my basic plan/schematic:

The 12 or 14 gauge red/brown wires are power and ground for the entire seat. My plan is to pick up the factory wiring for the power seats at the fuse box, and ground them to the body under the seats.

The K-bus wire needs constant power to make the memory controls work. I'll just tap it to the power supply for the seat, its also constant.

The occupancy sensor and seat belt switch will be spliced into the E36 wiring. The rest of the E46 wiring will be unused.

[Image: SAvdoh.jpg]

Speakers in your garage are almost a necessity. I started by taking out a good bit of the interior.

[Image: uZvcjh.jpg]

Removed the kick panels, sill trim that goes over the edge of the carpet, and undid the bottom seat belt mount so I could slip the carpet around it.

I also pulled the center console, and since the rest of it was out anyway, my roommate pulled the glovebox and changed my cabin air filter for me.

[Image: qr5Hth.jpg]

Making my ground wires. I used crimp on ring terminals and quick disconnects, and heat shrink to insulate them.

[Image: 5UJTfh.jpg]

The idea to pick up the factory wiring fell apart. I could understand the wiring diagrams to know which fuse to use, and where the wire ran from the fuse through the firewall, but I couldn't read it well enough to know where to pick up the power supply to run into the fuse.

On top of that the two rear most screws in my fusebox are stripped and seized, and they are buried down between the box and firewall, so I've tried and failed to remove and replace them in the past. I decided to fall back on another method other's have had success with. After a quick trip to the store to pick up some inline fuse holders to install in the power wire under each seat, the show goes on.

The circuit for the cigarette lighter also uses a 30 amp fuse, so you can tap the seats directly off it. I can charge my phone through my head unit, so I never use the cigarette lighter. I decided to completely disconnect it, because I want to minimize what can be run on my new borrowed power seat circuit. I split the connection here (solder and heat shrink and bundled with electrical tape) and ran it under the console, then under the carpet on either side to the floor pan.

[Image: 8qsFEh.jpg]

Dremel again, I have to trim this cover a little to make room for my ground wires.

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Ran my ground wires to a body nut under the seat. I used a ring terminal and a washer, then the factory plastic nut.

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The power wire run under the carpet

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Testing my ground with a multimeter, always a good idea, that way I know I have power if the seats don't work.

Then i added my inline fuses and put a connector on the end to connect to the seat.

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Might as well get some vacuuming done.

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With all the necessary wiring run under the carpets, I put all the trim and console back in the car. It's a lot easier to do with no seats in the car.

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My wiring. After this photo I realized that the bar I have them ziptied to rotates, so I had to bundle it with some of the wiring on the seat instead.

I used a 12 G quick disconnect with heat shrink over it to insulate it, and then electrical tape to cover the small gap, don't want anything getting too friendly and shorting out. Surprisingly the seat belt switch wiring plugs right into each other, and the occupancy sensor on the passenger's side also plugged right in.

The driver's side of the car's wiring has a wire that runs to the "seat belt warning lamp" which has never been functional in my car. The light works, I see it when I turn the ignition on, but it goes off as soon as I start, regardless of if my belt is fastened. I wonder if E36s are equipped with that feature but having it function wasn't a hard requirement in '95. Or my car was dropped on its head as a baby.

With everything plugged in I put a fuse into my inline holders and tested the seats. Power!

I started the car and watched the airbag light. It didn't turn off immediately after it started, like it is supposed to, but all is not lost. My airbag light has stayed on for ~3 minutes after I start the car ever since I got it, it will still pass inspection and the code says occupancy sensor, which is a common issue and doesn't disable the system.

I waited for 3 minutes and the light went off, I guess borrowing the E46 sensor didn't do the trick, but it also didn't throw a permanent code, which I half expected to happen.

[Image: Bev5Bh.jpg]

I test fitted the seats. The brackets are extremely close, but need some fine tuning before the bolts will go down in the rear. They need to come forward about 1/4in and the inner edges of the holes need to be ground out a bit. Back to the dremel.

I took some material off the rear of the front holes, and and some off the front of the rear holes to spread out where I was removing material.

[Image: it6rYh.jpg]

Re: The Long Awaited: The Myth, The Legend, The Douchebagger - SlimKlim - 09-19-2012

The next day I detailed the interior and took some good photos.

[Image: IMG7295-L.jpg]

Lots of room between the seat and console, seems to squeak and rattle a lot less. Haven't driven it much yet though.

[Image: IMG7296-L.jpg]

Now that I've been driving it like this for a few months, I think its safe to say this is my favorite mod that I've done to this car. They are slightly thinner than the old seats, so they dont push against the center console and produce a constant, anguished scream of leather creaking against plastic. The adjustable bolsters are awesome because it lets you adjust the seat so it holds you, instead of bracing yourself against the steering wheel, and the lumbar support is amazing for long trips.